Page 13

CHAPTER 13

GOOD NIGHT, ISABELLA

XANDER

August

As my house comes into view, I discreetly study Bella. She’s fiddling with her fingers, her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. Is she nervous? Does she regret coming home with me? I never know with this girl; I can’t anticipate her moves, and it’s throwing me off.

As if she can feel my scrutiny, she peers my way. “Thank you. For everything.”

I clear my throat. “You don’t need to thank me.”

She nods. Her eyes are empty, like she’s here physically, but mentally she’s somewhere else, lost in her thoughts. “Xander?”

I park in the driveway and lean toward her. “Yeah?”

She parts her lips, a deep sigh escaping them. Fuck me. Teasing her is fun, but when she reacts like this, I start doubting my brilliant idea. I go out of my goddamn mind when she’s around.

“I don’t think I should be here,” she says, her voice hoarse.

“Are you afraid of me, Bella?”

Her cheeks go pink at the sound of her name on my lips.

I tighten my hold on the steering wheel before I do something I’ll regret. This is not the time to put my cards on the table. I have to play them right. Otherwise, I’ll risk my place on the team, and all the hard work I’ve done to get where I am will have been for nothing. My attraction to her can’t overshadow my mission.

“Of course not,” she says, leaning back to put space between us.

I don’t move. The distance will be beneficial for me too. “Then why?” I ask, admiring the deep blue of her irises. “What do you want to do?”

“I…” She trails off, wringing her hands.

“You’re welcome to stay, or I can take you wherever you want to go.” I push my door open but stay seated, waiting for her answer. “So, what will it be?”

With a shake of her head, she unbuckles her seat belt. “I’m staying.”

I follow her to the front door, my attention wandering over her body. It’s hard to focus on anything else when this girl is near me. The blood in my veins turns into lava; I’m a volcano ready to explode. My skin is buzzing, and my hands itch to reach out to her. I’ve always been levelheaded—I pride myself on that trait—but Bella makes me stupid.

As I pass her to unlock the door, my arm brushes hers, and tingles spread over my skin. Okay, noted . I can’t control my thoughts or my body’s reaction to her.

Fuck.

I step aside and follow her in. The foyer is lit only by the moonlight that streams in from the windows, allowing me to watch Bella, who’s standing like she’s worried she’ll bump into something in the darkness.

I slip closer to her, my mouth an inch from her ear. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No, I’m good,” she whispers, her hair grazing my cheek as she backs up a fraction.

“Okay. But I do, so will you keep me company?” I take a step back and turn on the lights.

Her eyes instantly shut, her bottom lip protruding in an adorable little grimace. “You should’ve warned me,” she huffs, cracking one eye open.

“You’re too cute. I just couldn’t help myself.” I wink at her.

“You’re the second guy who’s told me that tonight,” she mutters.

Told her what? Was some asshole bothering her at the club?

“Let’s go to the kitchen.” She shuffles away from me. “I guess I could use a cup of coffee.”

I blink, frowning. “Coffee? It’s practically the middle of the night. Won’t it keep you up?”

“It helps me sleep better than any sleeping pill,” she replies. “Where’s Milo?”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, a shuffling sound comes from the living room. Milo appears then, yawning and looking disinterested.

“Hey, cutie.” Bella crouches and gives my dog a scratch between his ears, making his little tail wag.

“Milo is a guy. Don’t call him cutie .”

Giggling, she stands. “But he is cute.”

In the kitchen, I check Milo’s food and water while Bella sits at the bar-height table.

As I start the coffee maker and pull a lowball glass from the cupboard, I can feel her watching me.

I make her coffee the way she likes it, then set it in front of her. “Here you are.” Then, glass in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other, I sit next to her.

Bella sips her coffee, and I down the whiskey in one go, relishing the way it burns.

“Wow. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up on the floor. How many drinks did you have at the party?” she asks, turning to get a better look at me.

“None.” I shake my head, pouring myself another drink. “If I had, I wouldn’t have gotten behind the wheel.”

“Why are you drinking now?” Bella mutters, a pensive expression on her face.

“I wasn’t in the mood then. I am now.”

“What changed?”

“You’re here,” I confess.

A flush works its way up her face, making my smile widen.

It only lasts a second, though, because her words from earlier pop into my mind, and anger floods my veins. “Did someone bother you at the club?”

“Just a guy who tried to get my attention by touching me.” She shrugs, taking another sip of her coffee. “He was just drunk. I can take care of myself.”

Fuck. This woman baffles me. No matter how hard I try, I can’t read her.

“I can’t figure you out. What drives you to make decisions? What motivates you? One minute, I think I understand, but then bam —you surprise me again.”

“It’s because you don’t know me. At all.”

“ Yet . I don’t know you yet,” I correct her, pouring myself another drink. I toss it back, then drag the back of my wrist across my mouth. “What about Meghan and Garcia? Is it just me, or were they flirting?”

Bella sets her mug on the bar and yanks off one stiletto, then the other. “God, my feet are killing me,” she groans. “Oh yeah. And who knows? Maybe it’ll turn into something more.”

“Relationships are overrated,” I say into my glass after I fill it up once again.

She chuckles, the throaty sound sending electricity down my spine. “That’s why you’re single?”

No, I’m single because I can’t imagine being involved with someone for real. Not after what happened in college. Not after I discovered how easy it is to fundamentally hurt someone. Destroy them, even.

Not after I learned how one stupid decision could so thoroughly change a person’s life.

I twirl the glass in my hand, banishing the dark energy billowing inside me. This is not the place for it.

“I don’t do relationships. Everyone knows that.”

“And I’m sure every girl you meet thinks she’ll be the one to change your mind.”

“There isn’t a woman in existence who could make me change my mind. Dating sucks.” I sip from my glass. “Besides, why would I commit myself to one girl when I have a horde of them following my every move?”

“You’re disgusting.” She twists her lips, and a crease forms between her eyebrows.

“I’m a realist.” I lift my glass. “A lot of men think the same way. They just don’t have the guts to admit it aloud.”

Bella traces the rim of her mug with one finger. “Is Jake cheating on me?” she whispers without looking at me.

The pang in my chest takes me by surprise.

I turn to face her fully, and, sensing my scrutiny, she looks my way. Looking into her eyes is like staring into the deepest ocean…one full of sadness and melancholy.

I swallow my nerves and push the bottle away. Getting drunk is definitely not on my list of things to do tonight. “He and Regina are friends, I know that. They flirt—I saw it myself when we went out after the team party—but she knows he has a girlfriend.”

She nods, lips pressed together and eyes downcast. “It’s just… Ugh, don’t mind me.” She stands abruptly and schools her expression. “Where can I sleep?”

And now she’s running away from me.

“With me.” I grin at her as I stand and collect our glasses.

“Xander.” With an exasperated breath, she bends down to grab her heels. “I’m serious.”

It takes everything in me not to stare at her ass in that tight dress. “What makes you think I’m joking?”

“Because you are.” She straightens, her arms folded over her chest, her stilettos dangling from her fingers. I’m enjoying her annoyance a bit too much, but there are still limits to it. I don’t want to scare her away completely.

“Okay, you got me. It was a joke.” I saunter closer. “You know where the guest room is, right?”

With a nod, she turns and shuffles out of the kitchen.

I stick her mug and my glass in the dishwasher before stopping in my bedroom to grab a T-shirt for her. In the guest bedroom, I find her sitting on the bed, cast in the dim light of the moon.

Unbidden, a memory overtakes me.

The hallway is dark, but I continue blindly, following the sound of water running. The door to the bathroom is slightly ajar. I’m sweating—a sudden pain in the back of my throat makes it difficult to swallow. The sense of dread that hit me when I got her message lingers.

I place my hand on the door and push it open. My knees almost give out when I see the blood on the floor.

Oh my fucking God . No!

I blink, forcing myself to return to reality and loosen the chokehold I have on the shirt in my hand. “I brought you a tee, so you have something to sleep in.”

A small smile tugs at Bella’s lips. “Thanks.”

“Do you often sit in the dark like this?”

“Sometimes,” she says with a shrug.

“You’re weird.”

“I don’t think so. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. I don’t need to feel or think. I can just be. I can enjoy the quiet and the calm…”

Something in her voice bothers me. Without thinking, I stroll into the room and sit beside her.

“I’m not usually the prying type,” I say, setting the shirt on the bed. “But…did something happen to you when you were a kid?”

“It’s a long story.” Shoulders drooping, she picks at the comforter, avoiding my gaze.

“Perfect. We have the entire night ahead of us.” I scoot over until my shoulder touches hers. “Talk to me.”

Bella waits a few seconds before saying anything. I can see the moment she decides to open up to me, because she straightens her back and looks me in the eye. “My father died when I was five. My mother raised me alone until she met Kevin. I was ten. After that, my whole life changed.”

The meaning behind her words makes me see red. “Did he do something to you?” I ask in a low voice.

She takes a deep, shaky breath. “It’s nothing. It’s in the past.”

“Hey…” I gently wrap my hand around her wrist, turning her to look at me. “That doesn’t mean it won’t help to talk about it.”

“Xander.” My name is a warning. She doesn’t want to discuss it.

Her defiance only fuels my determination. “If this man did something to you?—”

“Stop!” she bites out. “It’s in the past. End of story. I have no desire to revisit any of it.”

Though fury roils violently in my gut, I force my muscles to relax. I put my hands on top of my head, locking my fingers. All I can do is breathe through the urge to punch a hole in the wall.

Fuck .

“But—”

“I asked you to stop,” she says. “Please, let me leave the past in the past.”

Taking a deep breath, I unlock my fingers and stand. “Fine.”

Face tilted up, she gives me a blank look, as if she’s completely unbothered. It shouldn’t be like this. She shouldn’t be so chill about being treated so poorly by her parents. Or Miller.

But she made herself clear, so I keep my tone even as I say, “Good night, Isabella.”

It takes all my strength not to slam the door behind me. I don’t know how to help her, and fuck if that doesn’t make my head hurt and my chest squeeze tight.