Page 35

CHAPTER 35

HARDER

BELLA

November

“Hey.” I wave awkwardly and sneak a glance at Xander’s sister, who’s standing several feet away with her husband and a couple of friends.

Audrey catches my gaze with a smug smirk. I might be misreading the situation, but it feels like she insisted I come not because she wanted to get to know me, but because she figured Xander would be angry with me for showing up unexpectedly.

What the hell is wrong with her?

“Hey.” Xander’s tone is subdued, and his posture deflates as he heads in the opposite direction.

My heart pangs, and my chest constricts painfully. His reaction speaks volumes. Now I know how he feels about me. Shrugging, I focus on Jess, a cute girl with red hair who has been friendly.

“How long have you known Audrey?” she asks.

“I just met her. I guess we’ve hung out, like, three times,” I answer with a smile.

“Three times?” Jess blinks in confusion. “What do you mean?”

I huff a little laugh. “I met her at Xander’s house last week. We sat together at the game on Sunday. This party makes three.”

“Oh.” Jess briefly looks over my shoulder before focusing on me again. “Looks like I asked the wrong question. How long have you known Alex?”

“Three months.”

Eyes twinkling, she says, “Three is your lucky number, isn’t it?”

I chuckle. “You could say that, yes.”

“Are you and Alex a thing?” She arches a curious brow.

“No,” I reply truthfully. “We’re friends.”

“Audrey is so overprotective of him. Has she threatened you about hitting on him yet? She once told me she’d never speak to me again if I tried.”

A thread of jealousy weaves its way through me. “Are you interested in him?”

“I thought I was once.” She smirks. “Audrey and I grew up together, so I’ve known him forever. He’s a few years younger than me, but when he turned eighteen it was hard not to let myself think about it. He never showed any interest in me, and he’s picky, especially when it comes to women. So if he calls you a friend, it means he likes you.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

We chat for a few more minutes before someone calls her name and she excuses herself.

As she walks away, I heave a sigh, not knowing what to do next. From the sound of things, dinner will start soon, but for now I occupy myself by looking around.

I take in all the small details of the house. The place looks wonderful, full of light and thoughtful choices. It’s a rustic design based on wood accents, lots of modern furniture mixed with natural materials, and a neutral color scheme. It’s beautiful and cozy, oozing comfort, and it immediately eases my anxiety a little.

When I come across the bathroom, I lock myself inside and splash some water on my cheeks, avoiding my eyes so my mascara doesn’t run. After I’m finished, I take a cleansing breath and open the door.

A figure looming in the hallway startles me, and I yelp.

“Xander?” What’s he doing here?

Arms crossed, he gives me a once-over, and that familiar lopsided grin forms on his lips.

“How do you like it?” He lifts his chin, gesturing to the bathroom behind me, his eyes sparkling playfully.

“It’s beautiful. The same neutral colors as the rest of the house.”

“What do you think about Jess? I saw you talking to her.”

“She’s nice.”

He only nods in response, not taking his eyes off me.

Shoulders pulled back, I step closer. “Can you please move? I want to go back to the terrace.”

“No.”

I huff, annoyance spilling in my veins. Twenty minutes ago, he acted like he barely knew me; now he won’t let me walk away? I press my hands to his chest, making him keep his distance. “Back off. I’m not in the mood.”

He cocks an eyebrow as an amused smirk lifts his lips. “Why should I?”

“Your reaction to my presence spoke volumes.”

“Forgive me, Bella, but your reaction to my reaction also speaks volumes.” He looms closer and leans against the doorframe. “My sister set us both up—she loves to meddle. I didn’t know she invited you, and I’m thinking you thought I did. Am I right?”

“Maybe,” I scoff.

“Where’s Miller?”

“Probably at home.”

“Probably?”

“I don’t know where he is because we broke up.”

“What?” His eyebrows pinch together, and his lips part. “At practice yesterday, he told Garcia you were waiting for him at home.”

Lips twisted into a scowl, I cross my arms. “He asked if we could keep the breakup a secret for now, and I agreed.”

Xander inches even closer and says, “I have way too many questions. Looks like you’re coming home with me tonight.”

“Says who?” I snort, surprised by the confidence in his voice.

“Your friend,” he murmurs, leaning in so close I can feel his breath on my skin. “Your lover.”

Without my permission, my core throbs. Xander’s proximity is my worst enemy.

He has done nothing wrong; still, I can’t get caught in his snare again. “Go to hell, Xander.”

“I’ll go wherever you want, but only if you keep me company.” His lips find mine the moment he stops talking. It’s just a peck, but my knees go weak immediately. Why do I always react to him this way?

Taking a step back, he holds his hand out. Rather than take it, I walk past him. Behind me, he chuckles, and the next thing I know, he has his arm casually draped over my shoulder.

“You won’t get rid of me that easily,” he whispers in my ear, freeing the butterflies in my stomach.

Though I do my best to keep my feelings in check, my heart wants to explode with happiness. His affection means way more than his words about not wanting a relationship.

We stop at the door that leads to the terrace.

“When did you break up with Miller?”

“At his house after the game. It went about as well as I could have hoped.” It’s not exactly the truth, but he doesn’t need to know that, especially not now. It’s Audrey’s party, and I don’t think she would appreciate me ruining his good mood.

Xander watches me, poking his tongue into his cheek. “He didn’t try anything with you?—”

“Ben’s presence helped.” That part, at least, is the truth. The bruise on my neck isn’t that big, covered by a thick layer of concealer. I’ll show it to him later, when it’s just us.

Untangling myself from him, I say, “Let’s go, or there won’t be any food left.”

* * *

“We’re going to my place,” Xander says as we leave his parents’ house around midnight.

“Why?”

“We need to talk.” He stops and extends his hand, his handsome smile taunting me, so easily knocking down all my walls. “Please, Bella.”

With a sigh, I take it, and he entwines our fingers like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He pulls me into his side and guides me to his car, where he insists on opening my door for me. Once he’s sure I’m safely strapped in, he traces the skin on my wrists. A dashing smile lights up his features. I’m not sure I’m making the right decision, but the two glasses of wine have dulled my nerves a bit.

Keeping his eyes on the road, Xander says, “Did you have a good time?”

“I did. What about you?”

“My day significantly improved when I saw you…alone.”

I focus on the scenery outside. “I told you I was going to break up with Jake. Don’t know why you’re so surprised.”

“I’m not surprised. I’m just proud of you.”

I turn in my seat to peer at him. “Will you finally tell me what happened in college?”

His jaw clenches, and his smile drops. “I will.” His tone is sharp, his posture instantly rigid.

But he doesn’t speak, so I take my phone out of my purse and text Ben to let him know I’m not coming home tonight.

Ben:

I’ll never understand your love for terrible decisions. Tell Alexander I said hi

I roll my eyes and slip my phone back into my purse. Ben is always going to be Ben. He only wants what’s best for me, but sometimes he forgets that what he thinks is best isn’t always right.

My eyelids are heavy by the time we step into Xander’s house, but I’m determined to power through. He wants to talk, and I’m tired of being in the dark. I want to know the truth so I can understand his rivalry with Jake, because it has become clear to me that it’s no longer a friendship.

I’m not sure it ever was.

When Milo rushes me, I feel lighter. I kneel, petting him and soaking in his warmth. “Did you miss me? Because I missed you, buddy.”

In response, he whines and rolls over, showing me his belly.

“He did,” Xander says, crouching next to me. “He likes you.”

“I like him too,” I whisper.

Xander leaves us to check Milo’s food and water, and I take my shoes off and settle in the living room. The couch in here feels like a safe place for me. It’s where I finally opened up and talked freely about my past. All the hurt is still with me, and I think it will be there for a lifetime, but Xander’s willingness to believe me made a huge difference. It set me free.

The curtains are drawn and the room is dark, but when Xander returns, he turns on the light and sits beside me. He’s still in his white shirt and dark blue jeans, his sandalwood and cinnamon scent drawing me in, enveloping me in comfort.

“Did you make up the guest room for me?”

“You’re staying with me,” he replies, unbothered. “In my bed.”

My stomach dips, but I keep my expression neutral. “Bold of you to assume.”

He slides off the cushion and kneels between my legs, his eyes burning into my soul.

I fidget, anxious for his next move.

“I said we need to talk…and we will.” He rests his hands on my legs, his fingertips disappearing beneath the hem of my skirt. “For now, I want to devour your delicious cunt. I missed the taste of you. These few days without you have made me fucking feral.”

He inches his hands higher and tugs at my panties. I arch my back so he can slip them off and spread my legs. It’s not what we should be doing, but resisting him has never been easy.

Holding my gaze, he brushes his index finger over my clit. That alone is enough to make me break into a full-body shiver. He slips it down to my slick core, watching me the entire time.

“I love how you react to my touch, to my voice. It’s so raw and real.” Head lowered, he kisses the inside of my right thigh.

When he moves to the apex of my thighs, I hold my breath in anticipation. To start, he tongues my clit, lapping and curling around it in slow circles. My eyes roll back in my head, and I grip the edge of the couch, already wild with need.

“Such a sweet little cunt,” he coos, blowing hot breath on my sensitive skin.

When he plunges two fingers into me, I grip his hair with both hands, keeping him in place. His tongue, his lips, and his fingers work relentlessly, driving me to my orgasm.

God, I want to come. I want to kiss him and taste myself on his tongue. I want him inside me…and I just want him for good.

My insides spasm around his fingers, and my eyes snap open.

I love him, and it’s stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced before.

“You taste so good. I could eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and never get tired of it. Never.” He pulls himself up, one hand on the couch to brace himself, and hovers close, his lips an inch away from mine.

I put my hand on the back of his neck and kiss him without holding back, as if this is my last moment with him. For all I know, it could be. Jake and I aren’t together anymore, but that doesn’t mean Xander and I are free to date. A relationship between the two of us could put his career at risk.

Not to mention his aversion to commitment. Regardless of how attracted he is to me, I don’t know if he’d break all his rules for me. I don’t know if he’d deem me important enough.

We aren’t meant to be. The realization hits hard, making me lose all my restraint, urging me to enjoy my time with him while I can.

Soon enough, our clothes are scattered all over the floor. We touch every inch of one another, barely coming up for air.

When I stroke him, he trembles. His breathing becomes erratic, and he drops his head to my shoulder. His release is approaching, but I don’t want him to come yet.

So, I push him back and make him sit on the couch. He looks disoriented, as if he’s drunk on us.

Roles reversed—now I’m the one on my knees before him—I curl my tongue around the head of his cock and run my hand up and down his length.

Xander brushes my hair off my face, his gentle fingers caressing my skin. “God, you’re gorgeous,” he breathes. “And my fucking dick in your mouth is a sight I’ll never forget.”

He lifts his hips, driving his cock into my mouth. His moans and grunts mix into each other, and beads of sweat run down his chest. Thank God he turned on the lights; watching him while I give him pleasure brings me close to my own orgasm again. He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever met, and he’s totally at my mercy.

“You on your knees for me, my cock down your throat… I want to memorize every detail so I can revisit this memory whenever I want,” he tells me. “Your mouth feels so good, baby. I’m gonna come so hard?—”

Xander puts his hand on the top of my head, and a guttural groan slips from the back of his throat. His cock throbs as his cum fills my mouth, and I barely have time to swallow it before he yanks me up and kisses my lips.

With my legs straddling his hips, we fuse our mouths together. When I’m out of breath, I lean away. Desire clouds Xander’s gaze; the way he’s looking at me sets my mind ablaze. He’s devouring me mentally, examining every inch of me.

He grabs the back of my neck to bring my face to his, and a sharp pain radiates out from the base of my skull. Before I can stop it, a gasp escapes me. Xander rears back and releases my neck, frowning down at his hand.

“What is this?” he asks, holding up his concealer-covered fingers. “Did you cover something on your neck?”

I blink, trying to collect myself. Fuck . I’m sweating with exertion; the concealer must be melting off. Dread engulfs me as I steel myself to open up. This is not how I wanted him to find out about the farewell gift from Jake on my neck.

“It’s a bruise,” I admit.

“What?” Xander puts a finger under my chin and forces me to look at him. “Show me.”

I know better than to argue with him, so I push my hair aside. He leans forward, examining it so closely his breaths feather the hairs at my nape.

“Did Miller do that to you?” His voice drops an octave lower.

“Yeah.”

He goes rigid beneath me. “But you said he didn’t try anything?—”

“I didn’t want to upset you at Audrey’s party. I planned to bring it up when we were alone. But like I said, Ben’s presence helped.”

I can only hope Xander keeps his cool. I don’t want him to wreak havoc on Jake. The past needs to stay in the past, and I can’t let him endanger his future, his career.

“He wasn’t happy when I walked away from him. He grabbed the back of my neck to stop me. Ben stood up for me. I have no idea what would’ve happened if he hadn’t been there.”

Xander frames my face with his hands, anguish written in every line of his face. “What else did he do?”

“Nothing, I swear. Ben helped me pack my things, I talked to Jake, and we left.”

He eases me off his lap and paces across the room, totally naked.

I stand too. I turn off the light and wrap my arms around him from behind, halting him in his tracks.

“I know it’s not okay, and I swear I wasn’t going to hide it from you. I was waiting for the right moment.”

Xander carefully turns around and presses me to his chest, holding me tenderly. We stand like that, his fingers threading through my hair as his heartbeat slows. “I hate Miller for everything he did to you. I want to hit him until he fucking bleeds.”

“It’s over now. I don’t want you to risk your spot on the team for this. He’s not worth it,” I tell him. “Just be there for me, okay? It’s enough.”

“Always.” His gaze falls to my mouth, and he pounces.

Feral, he devours me, all lips and tongue and teeth. When he breaks the connection, he turns me and pushes me gently toward the couch. He guides my elbows to the back cushions and presses down on my spine, encouraging me to arch my back to give him the best view of my wet pussy. There’s a rustle of clothing, the tearing of a foil packet. Then, he’s behind me, his sheathed cock pressed to my entrance.

“How do you want me to fuck you?”

“Hard,” I whisper.

“Want to be my fuck toy tonight?”

“Yes.” I rotate my hips, desperate to feel him deep inside me.

He trails his palm over my ass and then digs his fingers into my flesh. “So impatient… Don’t you worry, baby. I’ll do anything for my little slut.” With that, he drives his full length inside my pussy in one stroke.

“Oh, God, yes!” I moan, shutting my eyes.

Xander fists my hair, pulling my head back. A light prickle at my roots travels all the way down to my lower abdomen, making my clit pulse with anticipation. His other hand is planted on my ass, his fingers kneading my skin. He fucks me slow and steady at first, and I don’t mind it one bit. I’m still a little high from my previous orgasm, and I don’t want to come too fast.

“You’re soaked,” he growls. “Fuck, your cunt feels incredible.”

“Harder,” I tell him.

He puts his leg on the couch and tugs my head back, and I see stars. His dick is so deep, hitting that little spot inside me with a precise roughness. My moans, the slap of skin on skin, the sloppy sounds of my pussy, and his groans are all I hear.

“Harder,” I chant, and Xander happily obeys.

“Touch yourself, Bella,” he orders, out of breath.

I sneak my hand between my legs and rub the sensitive bundle of nerves there. My eyes roll to the back of my head, and my lips part. Then, I come so hard my whole consciousness becomes fuzzy. It’s like I’m not in this room anymore.

“Yes, yes, yes…” I cry out, my insides spasming. “Xander, I’m coming…”

He thrusts into me over and over, prolonging my orgasm until I’m ready to pass out. Then, with a guttural groan, Xander comes too.

He slips free of me before he helps me to stand. When he turns me around, we’re both panting and covered in sweat. A devilish smirk prods his lips, and I smile back as he cups my face with his palms and presses his forehead to mine.

“I don’t want this night to end yet,” I confess.

“Me neither,” Xander whispers. “Though my dick needs a little break.”

I chuckle. “A little break won’t hurt. I want to take a shower.”

“Shower sounds great.” He slides his hands down my waist and lifts me, making me wrap my legs around his hips. “How about I join you?”

“I’ll never say no to that.”