Page 20

CHAPTER 20

YOU KNEW

BELLA

October

When Marnie Was There is playing when I return to the living room with a glass of apple juice. I’ve already seen it more than once. It always brings me comfort.

Right now, comfort is exactly what I need.

The instant the front door opens, my insides churn. I lower myself onto the couch as an iron fist clenches around my gut, and I struggle to breathe.

Jake saunters in. His face is drawn, and there are dark circles under his eyes as he drops onto the cushion beside me. “Hey.”

With a thick swallow, I plaster a relaxed expression onto my face. “How was your day?”

“A fucking disaster.” He meets my gaze, his lips tugged down, and props his feet up on the coffee table. “Mom’s throwing a birthday party for herself in two weeks, and she wants you to invite your parents.”

The lead fist squeezes painfully. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“That’s what I told her. I explained, again, that you don’t talk to your mom.” He trails off, frowning. “She thinks that since we live together, we’re ready to take our relationship to the next level. And if we’re going to be a family, you should try to mend your relationship with your parents. My mom knows your?—”

“I can invite Aunt Millie and Ben,” I blurt out, grasping for an acceptable alternative. “But inviting my parents is out of the question.”

With a grunt, he sits up, his hands balled into fists. The move makes my hands go clammy and my heart rate take off.

Shit .

“Look at it from my perspective,” he says, his blue eyes icy. “My parents have been happily married for twenty-seven years. For them, it’s important to have a good relationship with all family members…and if you’re going to be my wife one day, it means your parents will be part of that family.”

My mouth goes dry. “Your wife?”

We’ve never talked about marriage. Where is this coming from?

“Yes, my wife. And once we’re married, your parents will be my family too.”

“If you keep pushing me to spend time with my parents, I highly doubt I’ll agree to be your wife.” With a huff, I stand and walk away. This conversation is pointless.

“You can’t be fucking serious,” he growls behind me, his voice getting louder. “And where the fuck are you going?”

I halt in my tracks and whirl around. My heart pounds painfully against my breastbone as he strides toward me.

“We’re in the middle of a conversation. Why are you walking away?”

“I told you I’m not going to invite my parents?—”

“No. You told me you don’t want to be my wife !”

Breath held, all I can do is stare at him. “I told you I won’t agree to be your wife if you push me to spend time with my family.”

“For fuck’s sake! Is it that hard to sit through one fucking dinner? One fucking dinner is all I’m asking!” His face contorts in anger, red painting his cheeks.

“My mother and my stepfather have no intention of being a part of my life. I can’t even remember the last time I talked to them,” I snap, blood rushing in my veins, my hands trembling. I’ve never been so pissed at him.

“I don’t get it. They raised you; they did everything for you. Kevin even paid for college?—”

“ Kevin? ” I all but screech. “Aunt Millie paid my tuition with the money she inherited after my father’s death. Kevin had nothing to do with it. The only thing he’s ever done for me is ruin my life.”

Jake invades my personal space and grasps my wrists tightly. “Look, I know they left you on your own a lot, or with your aunt. Sure, they weren’t the most attentive, but saying Kevin ruined your life? That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think? It’s silly that you’re still holding a grudge. It’s time to let go.”

I clench my jaw, my pulse racing. “My mother and Kevin never treated me like a part of their family. So trust me, they won’t be upset about not being invited to your mom’s birthday.”

“Isabella.” He softens his voice, and his hold on my wrists loosens. “My mom will eat me alive if your parents aren’t there. Please. It’s only one dinner.”

I pull my hands out of his grip and take a step back. “No.”

I won’t do it. Not even with a gun to my head.

“Babe.” He moves closer to me, craning low to look me in the eyes. “Sorry for being so pushy. But please, for me, won’t you try to look past your issues with your parents?”

He doesn’t understand that no means no, and maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I give in too easily. But not this time.

“Jake, I said no. That’s final.”

“Okay, okay.” He hauls me into his chest, holding me close.

I go numb. It takes what little strength I have left just to remain on my feet.

“I’m sure my mom will understand. She loves you, Isabella,” he whispers in my ear.

If I still possessed even an ounce of energy, I’d probably shudder.

His mother doesn’t think I’m good enough for him, and she doesn’t hide that opinion. Back when Jake and I were just friends, she fawned over me, always talking about how she wished she had a daughter like me. That all changed when we started dating his senior year of high school, and all her concerns about me were connected to my mother. Now she suddenly wants to be friends with her? It doesn’t make any sense.

“You smell like coconut,” he says, planting a kiss on my cheek.

This sudden change of subject is so typical for him, it doesn’t surprise me anymore.

“I just got out of the shower.”

“How is the bathroom design going? Is everything ready?” He holds me at arm’s length, his expression hardening again. “If I’d known it would take you this long, I wouldn’t have suggested you help Xander.”

My hackles raise at the slight. “All I need now is Xander’s approval on a mirror and a light fixture.” As I say the words, my chest pangs. This project has been the perfect excuse to spend time away from Jake, and I’m not ready to give it up.

As if he hasn’t been listening to a word I said, he takes my hands in his, smiling. “Wanna watch a movie and order takeout?”

I let out a relieved breath. “Takeout sounds good. I’ve been watching?—”

“Babe, no, please. You know I don’t like those stupid cartoons.” He grimaces.

I roll my eyes. Whatever . Watching anime with him is torturous anyway. He makes fun of the characters and the plot the whole way through, as if his favorite blockbusters are fucking masterpieces. Bullshit.

As I follow him back to the couch, one thought becomes louder in my head: I’m pretty certain I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. But I’ll have to stay somewhere else while I search for affordable housing, so maybe a break will do for starters, and I’ll need to be very careful figuring out my next steps.

Because Jake’s behavior concerns me more every day.

* * *

I chew on my bottom lip as I take in my reflection. My floral lace midi dress is white with a surplice neckline. I feel like a princess in it, elegant and poised. The material is soft, and my nude stilettos are as comfortable as stilettos can be.

Despite all that, I worry I won’t look proper enough for Jake’s mother.

My hair cascades down my shoulders, and I’ve combined two little braids into one to make a halo. The style is effortless and a bit messy. It’s perfect for me. For makeup, I stuck with black mascara and a nude lip gloss only. Jake’s mom hates when women wear too much makeup, so I decided to play it safe.

Downstairs, Jake is on the phone, his loud voice echoing off the walls. “Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. The bastard brought us luck.” He barks out a laugh. “We’ve got Tampa Bay in the bag… You too, man. You’ve been on fucking fire this season, Garcia.”

I stop at the threshold of the living room just as he finishes the call. “I’m ready.”

He stalks toward me, his eyes sparkling with excitement. He’s dressed in a white shirt and beige pants. The whole outfit is tailored to fit him perfectly, and he looks good. “You look absolutely amazing, baby.”

For a week after he brought up my parents, he tried one approach after another to convince me to invite them. When guilting me didn’t work, he tried begging. But my answer stayed the same, and he finally backed off. For the past week, we haven’t had even the slightest argument. It’s like we’re tiptoeing around each other, like one spark will be enough to start a fire that would demolish everything in its wake.

This is all a pretense. A facade. On the outside, everything is perfect. On the inside, it’s all crumbling—like my whole life at this point.

“I hope your mom thinks so too.” I give him a small smile.

With his hands on my hips, he kisses me. It’s slow and sweet, and it takes me by surprise. Recently, he hasn’t been particularly gentle with me. When I found bruises on my ass cheeks after we had sex a few days ago, he said he got carried away, that he didn’t actually want to hurt me. I like it when he’s rough with me, but I don’t tell him that. If I do, I worry he’ll take it too far. The bruises on my ass are definitely not the first ones I’ve found on my body after sex.

“Nothing can spoil my mom’s good mood. She went all out.” He grins at me and takes a step back.

“Thank you for understanding. I’m sure my parents won’t be missed.”

With a shrug, he shifts his attention to the bookcase. “You said you didn’t want to invite them, so…it’s okay.” He looks around the room, chin lifted, as if searching for something. Then he brings his gaze back to me. “Sounds like Walker is happy with his new mirror and the light fixture you ordered. It was delivered and installed yesterday, and he couldn’t stop blabbering about it in the locker room.”

A small smile tugs at my lips. At the same time, my heart aches. I haven’t seen Xander since the day his bathroom vanity was installed. It’s my choice, but it still hurts.

“He said you should stop by and check it out.” With his hand in mine, he leads me to the front door. “I was surprised you didn’t want to be there for the install, so you could take pictures of the results or whatever.”

Head lowered, I swallow past the lump in my throat. “It’s okay. We’re both so busy. Our schedules never seem to align.”

I saw Xander from afar at the Warriors game a couple of weeks ago, and it honestly made me sad.

I miss the time I spent at his house.

I miss Milo.

And, though I shouldn’t, I miss Xander himself.

Jake lets me out first and joins me on the porch a moment later. “Have you noticed that since you stopped hanging out with Walker, things are better between us?”

Annoyance courses through me. Of course he’d blame someone else for his faults. “I think it has more to do with the both of us realizing just how much is at stake, don’t you?”

“Maybe you’re right. If a future with you is at stake, I’ll do whatever it takes.”

In response, I fake another smile and head toward his car.

* * *

For the last ten minutes, Jake and his dad have been talking nonstop about the upcoming game against Tampa Bay. Mr. Miller is very proud of his son. It makes my heart feel full. No matter what I think about them, I can appreciate that Jake’s parents love him to bits. He’s where he is now because they believed in him, and they did everything in their power to make his dreams of playing in the NFL come true.

“There you are!” Mrs. Miller calls from behind me.

When I turn, my heart drops straight to the floor. Lungs seizing, I yank on Jake’s hand.

This can’t be happening.

“Look who came to wish me a happy birthday!”

My mother follows Mrs. Miller out of the house. Her gaze is fixed on me. She surveys me, taking in my dress and my hair, her nose wrinkling. Then she shifts to look at Jake, a silly smile on her lips. In her opinion, the only thing I’ve ever done right was date Jake.

“Honey, you look fabulous,” Mother says as she leans in and kisses my cheek.

The strong aroma of her perfume engulfs me. I hold my breath to avoid the dizziness it’s sure to bring.

“With a boyfriend like Jake, you always need to look good. Otherwise, another woman might steal him away from you!”

“I don’t need anyone but Isabella.” Beside me, Jake frowns at her.

She takes a step back from me and kisses his cheek.

When she releases him, he gives her a polite smile. “It’s nice to see you, Samantha.”

“It’s nice to see you too. Both of you, actually. I can’t remember the last time I saw my daughter. Apparently Kevin and I aren’t good enough for our beautiful Isabella.” Eyes the same blue as mine flash to me.

“Or is it the other way around? Am I not good enough to be your daughter?” I ask, not a care in my voice.

Mother’s expression turns pinched, and her smile slips.

She wasn’t expecting that. I’ve always just taken her insults silently, preferring to avoid any form of confrontation. But not today. Today, I’m too fucking angry to let the slights and the backhanded remarks go.

“Isabella!” Mrs. Miller gasps. “It’s my birthday, and this is my house. Please behave. You don’t want to embarrass Jake, do you?”

“Of course not,” I mutter, hands gripped tightly in front of me.

God, I hope she’s here alone. If Kevin is here too, I’ll snap.

“You have such a beautiful house, Caroline.”

That fucking voice…

My knees go weak, and my vision goes spotty as my stepfather steps out of the house. His white shirt and black pants are fitted, flaunting his muscles, as always. He’s more concerned about his looks than just about anything, and I guess he has to be. My mom would’ve left his miserable ass if he didn’t take care of himself. Everything in her world must be perfect.

“We’ve done a lot of renovating since Jake started playing for the Warriors—all of which he insisted he pay for,” Mr. Miller says, his chest puffing out.

Kevin’s smile is wide, but it doesn’t reach his dark brown eyes as he looks from person to person. He envies Jake’s parents…and he envies Jake, a guy in his twenties who has achieved way more than he has at fifty.

“It’s very nice of you to invite us.” Kevin shakes Mr. Miller’s hand and then turns to Jake. “I love watching you on the field. Your game is incredible.”

“Thank you.” Jake holds out a hand.

With every step closer he gets, my muscles tense further. My heart pounds painfully, and blood rushes in my ears. If I thought I could move, I’d probably run. Instead, I’m frozen in terror.

“Isabella, my sweet girl. It’s been so long.” Kevin pulls me into his arms.

Once again, I hold my breath. This time, I worry that if I catch the scent of his cologne, I’ll vomit right here in front of everyone.

“You look breathtaking.” The words are whispered in my ear, his breath hot on my neck.

Through gritted teeth, I hiss, “Get your hands off me.”

“Isabella, Isabella. You know I just miss you,” he murmurs sweetly, finally releasing me.

With that, he turns and launches into a conversation about the people in attendance, clearly assessing their statuses and whether they’re worthy of his time.

While the five of them yammer on, I stand there, quietly seething, praying our parents walk away so I can speak to Jake.

But where my mother is concerned, my prayers are never answered.

She leans in, her eyes narrowed to slits. “Next time you decide to open your fucking mouth and be nasty to me, I’d advise you to think twice. I have no problem telling everyone what a vindictive little bitch you are.” Her words are pure venom. “I doubt it would take long for Caroline and Dave to kick you out of their house and out of their son’s life. You don’t want that, do you?”

“Honestly?” I can feel Kevin’s gaze on me, but I keep my focus trained on Mother instead. “By all means. Do whatever you want.”

Her lips flatten, and her nostrils flare. “So incredibly selfish and ungrateful. As always. I shouldn’t be surprised.”

She turns back to Kevin and slips her hand around his elbow. He watches me again, eyeing me up and down as he runs his finger along the edge of his shirt collar. Finally, he turns back to Jake, who’s still droning on about the Warriors this season.

I hate it here.

When dinner is served, I tug on Jake’s sleeve, stopping him from going inside.

“Why are they here?” I ask once we’re alone.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” He moves closer.

On instinct, I step back.

He frowns but stays where he is. “I told Mom you wouldn’t be comfortable with them here. She swore she wouldn’t invite them, but two days ago, I found out she did it anyway.”

The numbness has returned, causing my extremities to tingle. “So…you knew?”

“Well, yeah. I didn’t know how to tell you, and with the game, it kinda slipped my mind.” He licks his lips.

Liar . He knew I wouldn’t be here if he had told me the truth, and he didn’t want to upset his mother.

“I’m so sorry, really. But it’s just dinner, right? Please, babe, just ignore them. It’ll be fine.”

Taking a deep breath, I fold my arms over my chest. “No. I made it clear I don’t want to see them. You only made things worse when you didn’t bother to tell me they’d been invited. So no, I won’t bear the presence of the two people I hate most in the world.” My skin is buzzing, and pure fury flows through my veins. “I’m going home.”

“Isabella,” he mutters, reaching out. “I’ll make it up to you.”

I take a step back. “Don’t bother.” The words come out before I can process what I’m saying. “I need a break from this relationship, some time to think about what I want for my future.”

I turn on my heel and head for the house, but I only make it a step before he catches my elbow. His fingers dig into my skin as he pulls me back, making me stagger.

“What do you mean you need a break?” he all but shouts. “Are you breaking up with me? Again ?”

I shake my head. “I just need some time to myself. Away from you.”

“What am I supposed to do without you?” he rasps. He already has on that hangdog expression he always uses to make me feel bad.

This time, I refuse to fall prey to his tricks.

“And for how long? A day or two? A week?”

With a sigh, I lift one shoulder. “I don’t know. Maybe a month.” Until I can find an apartment I can afford . But I don’t say that aloud, for obvious reasons.

“ A month ? What are you talking about?” He steps up close, towering over me. “You’re breaking up with me over some stupid dinner?”

Behind me, the door opens, and Mr. Miller calls out, “What’s taking you so long? Everyone’s waiting on you two.”

“I’m sorry, Dave. It’s my fault.” I force an apologetic smile. With my chin lifted, I head inside, not bothering to look at Jake or his father. In a few minutes, I won’t have to deal with any of them. I don’t care how pissed Jake will be. I don’t care what he tells his parents when I leave.

None of it will mean shit.

I’m done here.