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79

Summer

T he next ten days drag on, and I see Connor occasionally, but it’s usually just to study. We’ve barely kissed in all of that time. Maybe a chaste kiss as I leave his place or pass him in the corridor. He’s been working hard, and I can tell he’s burning himself out. We all are. Alice has hardly opened a textbook, yet she’s bored because everyone else is busy. I’ve not minded the studying, and I’ve actually enjoyed some of it. However, my mood has soured exponentially since we all knuckled down.

I settle into my seat in Realms, a vibrating ball of tension. My knee bounces, and I’m so on edge that I yelp a little when Connor drops into the seat next to me. He slides his arm along the back of my chair, and I look up at him with wide eyes.

“Hi,” he says, smiling brightly. “My morning class got canceled.”

I smile, kissing his jaw.

“Mister Morningstar, might I ask why you have decided to join first-year Realms? I don’t recall requesting an assistant,” Professor Ambrose asks, disapproval thick in his voice.

“Well, I could always use a refresher!” Connor replies, completely at ease.

“I’m sure you have studying to do for your own classes, Mister Morningstar. You will be reacquainted with Miss Tuatha De Daanan at lunch.”

“But Professor Ambrose, you don’t think I could be of some help?” Connor says, oozing charm.

Professor Ambrose throws him a droll, unimpressed look. “Miss Tuatha De Daanan does not require tutoring in this subject. Either go, or I’ll seat you elsewhere.”

Connor sighs dramatically and gently grabs my chin before kissing me hard. The kiss is more passionate than any we’ve shared in the past ten days, and it ignites the fire I kept banked.

I kiss him back, and the other members of the class whoop loudly. Connor pulls back much too quickly, though I can tell that Professor Ambrose disagrees. He winks as he leaves the classroom.

Professor Ambrose tries to gain control of the class again, but it’s not until he reminds everyone rather rudely that our final is next week that the atmosphere in the room changes.

An hour later, I make my way to the cafeteria with Alice. Connor looks up at me as I approach.

“Hi!” He smiles brightly.

I smile back, though I can feel the tension humming through me. Even my cheek muscles feel tight. “Hi.”

Connor pulls me against his side, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

I smile and start to eat, stabbing a piece of lettuce. There is a loud crack, and I blink when I realize I’ve cracked the plate in two.

“Well,” Rafe says, his brows shooting up.

I drop my fork, the metal warped from my grip.

Connor covers my hand. “You okay, babe?”

I take a deep breath before forcing a smile onto my face. “Yeah. I’m going to go work out. I have a free period after this, and I’m feeling a little stressed.”

Connor leans in, brushing his lips over mine. “You’ll come over tonight?”

I know he means to study. That’s the only reason he invites me over nowadays, but I can’t help how my stomach flutters.

“Absolutely. I’ll see you guys later.” I stand and practically sprint to the gym before any of them can say anything.

Max looks up from the desk, his stupid face pulled into a smug smirk. “Three times in twenty-four hours. People will start talking.”

I growl at him, going straight to the sparring room, and as I knew he would, he eagerly follows me.

Training has not only been a source of solace for me in the fresh hell that is celibacy, but it’s also been helping clear my head. I’ve not heard from the stranger for ten days either, and it’s been lovely. Blissful, even. I absolutely haven’t thought about him.

Summer the Liar. It has a nice ring to it, I suppose.

I pull on my gym shorts before pushing off my skirt and unbuttoning my white shirt. I’m grateful for the sports bras I’ve been donning these past ten days so I can work out whenever I want. I kick off my heels, opting for bare feet.

“Still no sex, huh?” Max asks, rolling his shoulders.

I bristle, stretching to loosen up. “What makes you say that?” I say, swinging for him. I certainly don’t intend to discuss my sex life with Maximillian Romulus.

Max blocks it easily. “Because you’re here and pissed.”

I drop to the floor. Leaning into my fae speed and agility, I sweep my leg under his, taking him to the mat. “You know nothing about my sex life.”

Max hisses as he hits the ground hard. “At least you’re not pathetic anymore.”

I climb on top of him, pinning him down.

Max thrusts his hips up hard, and I fly off him, colliding with the mat.

“Fuck,” I groan.

Max shifts to pin me. “Maybe I spoke too soon.”

I manage to wrap my legs around his waist and follow his lead, thrusting my hips up enough that I’m able to flip us so I’m on top again. Max slams his fist into my ribs, and I jolt in pain from the hit.

“What the fuck?” I snarl.

“What?”

“You’re a fucking dick. If I’d taken a cheap shot like that, you’d have gone all berserker on me. Fucking asshole.”

Max rolls his eyes. “Fine. Take a cheap shot.”

I stand up and pull my skirt back on before shoving my shorts down my legs. “Fucking asshole. Moronic fuck,” I grumble as I change. Frustration bubbles inside me, and even I know my reaction may be extreme. I’m always hot-headed, but it’s gotten worse recently.

Max sits up. “Any more names? I thought you wanted to learn to fight. You can’t expect your opponent to fight fair.”

I snarl and whirl on him. “So when I take a cheap shot, when I don’t know what I’m doing, you go all berserk on me. Yet you do it to me without consequences? Go fuck yourself, Max!” I yell, storming out of the gym.

Fucking men. All of them. I stomp through campus, carrying my shoes and cursing all men under my breath. People scramble out of my way, their primal brains telling them they do not want to catch my attention right now. I have just rounded the corner of Kelpie Hall when something grabs my wrist. I hiss and whirl on him, knowing exactly who has a hold on me. His form is even more faded than usual.

“And what the fuck do you want?” I snarl.

He snarls back, and his is infinitely scarier. Deep and vicious, it resonates past my ear, sending a delicious shiver licking down my spine. “Do not speak to me like that, little girl.”

I look up at him, furious. “You think you can just appear whenever you fucking want?”

“My life does not revolve around you,” he growls.

“And how the fuck am I supposed to know that? I know nothing about you except that you watch me,” I hiss at him. “You were gone. Again .” I slam the words into him like an accusation.

“What does it matter if I’ve been gone?” He tilts his head, and I feel his gaze wander over me, his ire lessening.

“You…” I hesitate, feeling my rage start to melt away. “You left.” Me. You left me.

He wraps his hand around my arm and pulls me in closer. “What does it matter?”

“I apologized, but you…” I pause. “Do you have a girlfriend? Is that it?”

He doesn’t answer right away, studying me. “No,” he finally says.

I clear my throat and look up at him. “All right.”

“Not everything has to do with relationships.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, the rage replaced by confused exhaustion.

“Why are you lashing out?” he asks, his thumb sliding over the inside of my elbow.

“Lashing out?” I ask, running my hand over my brow.

He nods. “Yes, you’re lashing out, blindly using anger as a weapon.”

I exhale and roll my shoulders. “I’m just a little on edge, and Max didn’t help.”

He tilts his chin up. “Walk with me,” he says, cautiously releasing his grip on my arm.

I take a deep breath, already feeling more relaxed.

We walk side by side, not touching. We walk in companionable silence for a while, but I can feel his gaze on me. I know the questions are coming.

“You’re spiraling. Why?” he asks.

He has led me into the trees, and I look up at the branches forming a canopy above us. I wrap my arms around myself. “I have this pent up…” I pause, trying to think of the word. “Energy.”

“Exams?” he asks.

I stop and turn toward him. “We’re friends, right?” The stranger stops and turns to face me. “So I can talk to you about whatever, and it won’t be weird. Right?”

“Friends for now. But, yes, go on.”

“Connor and I, we aren’t having sex.”

The stranger coughs in surprise. “Ever?”

“For like ten days now.”

He crosses his arms, and I can hear the disapproval creep into his voice. “That’s not that long.”

I roll my eyes, disappointed with the dismissal from someone who I actually thought would understand. “Whatever. No one gets it.” I shrug and walk away, my bare feet easily finding their way over the cold ground. He quickly catches up to me, grabbing my hand.

“So he’s not… fulfilling your needs?” he asks.

I sigh. “We have an agreement that we won’t have sex until the end of finals.”

“Why? It’s good for stress,” he asks, tilting his head.

“Apparently, it’s a distraction, and,” I poorly imitate Connor’s voice, “it’s like an addiction.”

The stranger laughs, and the sound rolls over me like warm honey. “Is it? Like an addiction?”

“With me?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely,” I admit.

“It’s been several months for me, and I find myself… short-tempered and irritable.”

“Several months?” I ask, aghast.

He nods. “Yes, I used to… have it a lot.”

I feel myself tense, though I’m not sure why. “Okay,” I say and start to walk again, fighting the urge to run.

The stranger falls into step beside me. “Have you told him you need it?”

“No. I’m being supportive,” I reply. The question lays heavy on my tongue, the taste of it bitter. I can’t help myself, and the words slip from my lips despite all my instincts screaming at me to keep quiet. “Why haven’t you sought it out?”

“I’ve no interest in a replacement for what I want.”

I narrow my eyes. “So you’ve found it? What you want?” I ask, my body growing more and more tense.

“Yes, but I can’t do anything about it yet.”

Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask. “Why?”

He shrugs, turning his attention ahead. “Too many things in the way. I have to be patient, but it is difficult because I am not a patient man.”

I nod, also looking ahead. “Right.”

“It will be years for me. I am not looking forward to it.”

“Maybe they’re not worth it,” I say, bristling.

“Oh, she is.” I can hear the smirk in his voice.

I look at him again. “You’re going to go years without sex?”

He nods. “I’m guessing that sounds insane to you.”

“Well, do you even know this person? How do you know it’ll be worth it?”

He laughs. “I talk to her often.”

“Is she why you disappear?”

He nods.

Could he be talking about someone else? Is that what I want? Or is it scarier if he’s talking about me?

“Do you… spend time with her?”

He shakes his head, and my brows draw. “She’s young. Just discovering who she is.”

“Well, good for her,” I growl softly.

“Yes.” I can hear the smile in his voice, and it’s infuriating. “She’s even involved with someone else. Another reason I have to be patient. She’ll need to come to the conclusion herself that he can never be what she needs.”

“And are you what she needs?”

He nods slowly. “She needs someone to take control, to challenge her.” I swallow, my stomach knotting. The stranger reaches out and tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Someone who’s not only going to embrace her darkness but show her his own.” My breath hitches in my throat, and he steps closer, swallowing the space between us. “I’m going to be patient even though it’s against my nature because, in the end, it will be me and her. No other.”

I swallow again and whisper, “It’s a good thing that you and I are friends, then. So I won’t get in the way,” I say, struggling to keep my voice even.

The air is thick and heavy, a confusing energy humming between us. He trails his fingers along the line of my jaw, and I suppress a shiver. “For now.” He drags his thumb along my bottom lip, pulling my mouth open just a bit before dropping his hand. “If you’re having trouble with your boy angel, simply take the voice from him.”

I frown.

“Jump him, little fae.”

“What? No! I’m not going to force him to have sex with me.”

The stranger laughs. “Little fae, he wants it.”

I shake my head. “I’m being supportive. He asked this of me.”

“Then invest in a good vibrator,” he says, and I can hear his eye roll.

“I… excuse me?”

“What?” he laughs.

“Didn’t know you were so invested in my orgasms,” I say almost primly.

“It’s affecting your mood,” he says, a smirk saturating his voice.

“Ah, it all makes sense now. My mood is pissing you off.” I smirk, feeling more comfortable with this banter.

He chuckles. “Maybe.”

A chill wind rolls through the trees, and I look up, noticing the darkness rolling in. “I have to go.”

“Hurry home, little fae.”

I hesitate for a long moment, debating whether to say what I want. But then I take a breath and turn to face him fully. “Don’t disappear again. Please.” Without waiting for him to reply, I turn and run, leaving him standing there.