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75

Summer

M y phone pings in my pocket, and I pull it free. The fallen tree trunk I’m perched on has a thick canopy of leaves above, so I’m mostly sheltered from the rain.

Alice

I’m sorry.

I consider replying, but there is still that deep ache in my chest that I’m unable to push away. The only way I can think to ease it is to take more time to come to terms with my feelings and reflect on what she said.

The sky is inky black by the time I decide to make my way home, and though I’ve been out on my own all day, there has been no sense of being watched. Does it make me na?ve to hope that the killer has just… gone? By the time I arrive home, my clothes are soaked through again, and I’m shivering from the cold.

Alice is pacing in the living room, and she’s practically worn a track into the rug. She spins toward me, her eyes widening. “You’re soaked.”

I nod and start toward my bedroom, desperate for a shower, desperate to be wrapped in warmth and comfort. Alice wraps her arms around me from behind and squeezes, trapping my arms at my sides.

I feel my body tense, and I hate the way it does. “Alice, I… I’m…” I swallow, feeling the emotion welling inside me again, but she just keeps holding me. She loosens her hold enough to allow me to turn and wrap my arms around her. I bury my face into her neck and hold my best friend.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper so softly that if not for her vampiric hearing, she’d never have heard.

“I’m sorry, too.” She exhales shakily. “I just… I hate it when you shut me out. I can’t handle it, Summer.”

I pull back, looking at her. “I’ll tell you everything, okay? Everything I know, and then we can decide what to tell Connor.” I had decided on my walk home that Alice deserved to know the whole truth. I trust her, and if she is this adamant about telling Connor, I should hear her out.

Alice nods, sliding her hand into mine, her face set into a serious expression. “All right. It’s always going to be us. Wifeys.”

I squeeze her hand. “Let me shower real quick, and we can talk.”

Alice reluctantly releases me, and I take a quick shower before pulling on pajamas. Alice is in the living room when I emerge from my room, and to my delight, she’s put the fire on. Even after the shower, the remnants of the cold still linger on my skin, but the room is warm and comfortable. It’s like walking into a blanket.

Alice pats the space next to her on the couch, and I sit down, pulling a blanket over my legs as much for comfort as warmth. Alice holds her hand out, and I place mine in hers.

“It’s you and me to the end, okay?” she says.

I nod, moving closer to her.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“It’s okay,” I say with a small smile.

Alice sighs. “I’ve never had a friend.”

I squeeze her hand. “Me either.” I sigh heavily. “Okay. I’ll tell you everything.”

Alice smiles, but I can see the tension in her shoulders.

“There’s really only one more thing,” I say. Alice squeezes my hand, waiting for me to continue. “I have this… friend.”

Alice tilts her head. I feel her carefully studying me.

“I don’t really know how to explain. I don’t know who he is, but…” Fuck, how do I even begin to explain the stranger? He’s this guy who is potentially a weird stalker, but also I feel like he might be the only person in all the realms who truly understands me. Fuck. “Sometimes he’s around, and he… understands me.”

Alice’s brows furrow, and she shakes her head. “Start from the beginning, Sum.”

I nod. “Okay. I noticed this person was watching all of my stories, and sometimes they would message me. Initially, I pushed back, but then we started talking, and he…” I hesitate again. “Occasionally materializes and we… talk.”

“Materializes?” Alice asks.

I nod. “But I don’t know who he is. It’s hard to explain.”

“But he’s not dangerous?”

I quickly shake my head, but her question sinks into me after my snap answer. Honestly, I have no idea who he is, but I know he is dangerous. He just isn’t dangerous to me. I’m being so incredibly stupid, but it’s so fucking nice to vocalize my darkness and know that he won’t judge me for it. A part of me craves to free that side of me, but no one else would understand.

“I know it sounds crazy, Al. But I… trust him,” I say, the words spilling easily from my lips. They must be the truth or a lie so convincing that even I am convinced.

“Will he protect you?” she asks. There is no judgment or cynicism in her voice, just genuine interest.

“I think so.”

Alice nods, thinking for another moment. “Okay. That’s all that matters. More people to protect my Summer.”

“Do I tell Con?”

“Do you think he’d have a problem with it?” Alice asks.

I shrug. “Probably not. Connor's not a jealous person.”

Alice lifts her chin a little. “Should he be jealous?”

I blink, looking at her. “I love Connor.”

“I know.” Alice’s lips twitch. “But I’m guessing there’s a little more to this than you’re telling me.”

“What?”

Alice laughs. “I’m guessing this… dude doesn’t want to be just friends.”

I shrug, looking away. “We’ve had words about boundaries.”

Alice snorts. “Yeah? You had a boundaries discussion with your stalker?”

I frown. “He’s not a stalker. He’s…” I pause, unsure what he is. Okay, maybe the way he watched me could make him seem… stalkerish, but I am not going to admit that to Alice.

“A what?” Alice asks, cocking one brow.

“A friend,” I finish.

“Right.”

I sit back on the couch, thinking. “I should talk to Connor, make sure he’s cool with it. Right?”

“I mean, yeah.”

I look up at the ceiling. “Also, I beat up Max.”

“On purpose?” Alice asks.

I nod and then notice the time. “Connor will be here soon.” I pick at a loose thread on the blanket. “Do you think he’ll break up with me?”

Alice snorts as if the question is incredibly stupid. “No, I really don’t think he will.”

My stomach twists and turns as the nerves set in, and I scroll through my phone to pass the time.

“Show me the DMs,” Alice demands.

Surprised, I look up at her. “Why?”

“Because I’m nosey,” Alice says with a shrug.

“Okay. But please bear in mind a lot of these were sent before we had strict boundaries in place.”

Alice snorts and snatches my phone from my hand, expertly navigating through it. With every message she reads, her eyebrows raise higher on her forehead. “Who is this guy?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, practically bouncing with nerves.

Alice turns my phone to show me the photo he sent last night. “This is off-realm. Like way off-realm.”

“So?”

Alice pulls out her phone and starts searching Nexus . “This is Valhalla. Not only is he pretty much as far away as he could be, but he still has cell service?”

I frown, taking my phone back and typing out a message to him.

The reply comes immediately.

Alice gasps, reading the messages over my shoulder. “Shut the fuck up! He created the Runic Network?” Alice starts furiously typing on her phone. “We can totally find out who he is, Sum.”

I watch her type furiously, my hopes rising that she will find out something about him.

“Fuck. All it says is that it was created by an anonymous individual over forty years ago.” She continues to read. “Apparently, its purpose was to make sure we wouldn’t fall behind the mortals in terms of technology.” She sighs heavily. “Damn, I thought we’d caught him.”

I close my messages with the stranger and place my phone beside me. “Why do I feel so nervous about telling Connor?”

“Well, do you feel guilty?”

“I have nothing to feel guilty about, right?” I ask in a small voice, chewing on my lower lip.

“You were maybe a little flirty with him last night, but… I don’t think so. You’ve been very clear that you and he are just friends.”

I nod, but my stomach twists again when there is a knock at the door.

Alice hugs me and stands up. “Good luck,” she says before going into her room and closing the door behind her.

Taking a deep breath, I get up and open the door for Connor.

“Hi.” Connor smiles brightly at me.

“Hi,” I reply, feeling how my smile doesn’t reach my eyes.

Connor pulls me into him, nuzzling the top of my head. “I missed you.”

I brace my hands on his chest. “Con.”

He pulls back, his brows drawn. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to tell you something,” I say on an exhale.

Connor takes my hand and leads me to the couch. He sits down, and I curl up beside him.

“Babe?” Connor asks when I don’t start talking. “What is it?”

“I…” I swallow. “I have this friend I talk to sometimes, and I didn’t tell you about them.”

Connor reaches out, twining a lock of my hair around his finger. “A friend?”

I nod.

“Okay, why didn’t you tell me about them?” Connor asks. Hurt shadows his eyes, and it fucking breaks me.

“Initially, because I found him very annoying. I couldn’t stand him, actually.”

Connor places his hand over mine. “Okay.”

“But there’s…” I begin, dropping my gaze to our hands. I am such a coward. I do not want to see the pain in his eyes. “There are things about me he understands, Con, and we’ve become friends.”

Connor slides his thumb over the back of my hand. “Things about you he understands?”

I nod, still unable to look at him.

“Things I won’t understand?” he asks.

I turn toward him and scoot closer, finally finding the courage to meet his gaze again. He locks his blue eyes on mine, trying to understand.

“Things I never want you to understand, big guy.”

Connor studies my face. “Does he help?”

I shake my head. “ You help. He just makes it seem like I’m not the only one that has these thoughts and feelings.”

Connor is silent for a minute, processing everything.

“Con?”

“Hm?” He strokes his thumb over my knuckles again.

“I love you, and if you want me to stop talking to him, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. No questions asked.”

Connor shakes his head. “I don’t want that. The part that gives me pause is that there are things you don’t want to share with me.”

I look away, feeling the shame overwhelm me. “Because they don’t matter when I’m with you.” He is my peace. He is perfect. I can’t tarnish his platinum soul with my inky black one.

“Will you… tell me about it? Someday?”

His request is so small and so kind, yet there is another question I need to ask before I agree to even that.

“If I do, will you still love me?”

Connor pulls me into his lap, and I wrap my arms around his neck. “Babe. I will always, always, always love you.”

The sincerity in his eyes is undeniable, and I cup his cheek. “Then yes, Connor. Someday.”

Connor presses his forehead to mine. “He helps?”

I close my eyes. “You help,” I repeat.

“Will talking to him help you talk to me one day?” he asks, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

I exhale. “I think so.” I hope so.

“Good. Look at me.”

I open my eyes, and our gazes lock. Space and time seem to stand still, and Connor tilts his head, brushing his lips over mine. “I’m happy you have someone who understands. I know there are things in your head that you keep secret, and if he can help ease the burden you carry, then I am grateful for him.” He kisses me again. “I love you.”

I whimper softly, the love in his words hitting me like a physical blow, and I deepen the kiss.

Connor smiles. “You were nervous about telling me.” It’s not a question but a statement and proof that he is getting to know me because I am slowly letting him in.

“I never want to do anything to hurt you. I never want to put us in jeopardy.”

Connor leans in, nuzzling my throat. “While I wish you could talk to me about this stuff, I understand. And if this dude is going to help you. How could I be mad about that?”

I kiss him again.

“Just don’t go falling in love with him,” Connor says with a smile.

“How could I when I have the best fucking boyfriend in all the realms?”

Connor laughs, and the sound is so joyful and perfect that there is no room for tension, no room for fear, no room for anxiety.

There is just us.