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49

Summer

T he elevator opens to the lush lawn once again. Farrah is sitting on the porch, looking through a large binder, a fluffy cream blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She looks up when we leave the elevator, smiling brightly at us.

“Mom, we have to head back to school,” Connor says as we approach the porch. Her smile falls, and there is a clear longing in her eyes for her children to be close to her.

“Already? But you just got here!” She closes the binder and sits forward.

“I know. The weekend was short.” Connor takes her hand.

Farrah nods as she stands up and pulls him into a hug. Luke comes out of the house, looking around for someone. His brows draw when he doesn’t find who he’s looking for.

Farrah whispers something into Connor’s ear, and he groans, his ears flushing a little in embarrassment.

“Mom… stop.” He makes a strangled sound, pulling back from her. Farrah cups his cheeks and kisses his face. Connors’ shoulders visibly relax, and he chuckles as his mom loves on him. Farrah then moves her attention to the twins, giving them equal amounts of affection.

“Now. You two, don’t get into too much trouble.” She cups one of Zach’s cheeks and one of Zane’s, her gaze a blend of desperate love and grave seriousness. “And, Zach, I want to hear all about this mystery girl.”

“There’s no girl.” Zach sighs, rolling his eyes.

Zane coughs loudly as if trying to clear his throat. Farrah looks at him, then back at Zach. “You know, Zach, my darling, feigning ignorance is a lie, and you just made your brother choke on it.”

Zane bursts out laughing, his face still slightly pink from his coughing fit.

Farrah shakes her head and then cuddles Luke. He engulfs her in his arms, holding her tenderly, the love flowing between them one of the most beautiful and pure things I have ever seen. She pulls back and kisses Luke on the cheek before turning to me and pulling me into a hug.

“I am so grateful for you, Summer,” she whispers into my ear as she squeezes me affectionately. I let her aura seep into my bones, warming them. She kisses my cheek and then lifts a wicker basket from the table, handing it to Connor. “Will you give this to Rafe? It’s all of his favorite home-cooked meals and snacks. I’ve runed them to keep the twins out.”

“Hey!” Zach and Zane protest in harmony.

“Of course, Mom.” Connor smiles.

“And will you..” She pauses, trying to center herself. “Will you tell him I love him? So very dearly.” Her voice cracks on the last word and the sound nearly splits my heart.

“Of course, Mom. And you know he loves you too, right?” Connor says, his voice gentle. Farrah steps back, looking at all of us. Her lips are tilted in a smile, but her eyes shine with the sadness of saying goodbye to her boys, her pride, her heart.

“Goodbye, my darlings.”

Connor kisses her head, and Luke hugs her tightly again before we all step into the waiting elevator. Farrah watches us, and Luke’s anxiety practically radiates off him. Farrah raises her hand in a final goodbye, and the doors slowly close.

“I hate leaving when Dad isn’t here. She looks so lonely,” Luke says, his eyes boring into the metal like he can still see her. From the feeling in the elevator, I can tell that I’m not the only one who didn’t buy the mask of happiness she pulled on to convince us all that she was okay.

Connor nods. “I hate seeing her look so sad.”

Luke turns to face his brothers. “Why didn’t dad come back with you?” His voice is harsh and cutting. The sharpness is so foreign in his usually gentle inflection. “He knows how sad she gets when we all leave.” His shoulders are tense as he stares at them.

Zach shrugs, but he seems a little surprised by Luke’s outburst. “He was training with some of his Legion.”

Zane puts his hand on Luke’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. “Hey, he knows her. I’m sure he appeared the second we left.”

Luke shrugs out of Zane’s touch and starts pacing angrily, though I can also feel the underlying sadness and maybe a shred of guilt. Luke is the youngest, and I don’t imagine it was easy for him to leave this year, knowing how important family is to Farrah and Uriel.

Zach rolls his eyes. “Baby Luke–”

“Stop it, Zach.” Luke is nearly yelling, and he doesn’t stop pacing. “She was sad! And we just left her alone.”

I watch as Luke gets angrier, and I wish I knew how to help him. I wish I knew what to say to take his pain away, but truthfully, none of these feelings are ones I understand. Sure, I understand anger, upset, and guilt at their core, but not for the reasons Luke feels them. There is something about his empathy that claws at me. It is another blatant difference that casts me aside from the Morningstars.

“She’s not some helpless woman, and you reacting like this discredits her strength,” Zach growls.

“She misses us!” Luke raises his voice more, his whole body tensing. “In the last five years, we have all left. One after the other. And Dad wasn’t there when she needed him. I’m going back.”

I glance at Connor, who is watching his brothers spar. I can tell that he’s gotten very good at playing the middleman and peacekeeper over the years. Out of all of his brothers, he’s the one with the best temperament to do it. I understand that to take on that role, he has to be able to hear both sides and then consider the best course of action, but this fight needs mediating now. I gently nudge him. Connor glances at me and nods once before reaching out and catching Luke’s arms, stilling him.

“Luke.” Connor waits until Luke meets his gaze. “You know how much mom loves us. We all do. But do you know why Mom and Dad live in Eden and not Avalon?”

Luke considers for a moment, his shoulders relaxing a little beneath Connor’s steady calm. “Because of the Legion?”

Connor shakes his head. “Because they decided years ago that when we started at Avalon, we would go and find who we are, find our independence. Just like she and Dad did after they got married.”

All the anger melts from Luke’s face, and all that’s left is a gut-wrenching sadness. “But?—”

Connor nods. “I know it’s hard. But we have to let her find her independence again, too.”

Luke drops his gaze to the floor, his voice soft. “I hate that Rafe didn’t come.”

Ah, potentially the crux of the anguish. I try not to intrude or invade this space that I’m imposing on, but what used to feel like a spacious elevator now feels tight and uncomfortable, the emotion taking up all the air.

Connor nods. “Me too. But he… Rafe has trouble with being happy. He has his demons, Luke.”

Luke just nods sadly, and Connor pulls him into a tight hug. “Thank you for loving Mom enough for all of us.”

Luke wraps his arms around Connor and leans into his big brother, releasing a shaky exhale.

Connor drops his voice, but his words are still loud in the enclosed space. “I know you have big, wonderful feelings, Luke, but just because they’re expressed differently by the rest of us doesn’t mean they’re not there. Okay?”

Luke nods and turns his head, looking at Zach. “I’m sorry for snapping, Zach.”

Zach shrugs and punches Luke lightly on the shoulder. “Just give Mom more credit. She went hundreds of years without us. Plus, she can be a dragon when pissed off.” He thinks for a moment. “Hm, I suppose you’ve never seen that side of her, goody-two-shoes Lukey.”

“I’ve seen her get angry at you and Zane plenty, though,” Luke admits, a small smile tugging at his lips.

My eyes sting as I watch them. Not only because I am, once again, witnessing this incredible family bond. But also because, while I may be watching this from the sidelines through an incredibly clear window, this will never be something I can be a part of. Not really. Their bond is the purest of water and the sweetest of wine. They are the most pristine of gardens, and I am nightshade growing within.

“I know it’s been hard being away from her, Luke. I cried like a baby when I first got to Avalon.”

Luke’s eyes go wide, and he gapes at Connor. “You did?”

Connor nods. “I was all alone. I didn’t have you guys. It was my first time away from Mom and Dad for an extended period.”

Luke thinks for a moment. “At least I have you guys. And Summer and Alice.”

“And Rafe,” Connor adds. “I know he doesn’t act like it, but he loves us too.”

Luke shakes his head. “Not me. I’m not a fighter like you guys.”

Connor blinks, taken aback by the statement. “No, you’re not a fighter. You’re way more special than that, Luke.”

“Okay, wow,” Zach grumbles, leaning against the elevator wall.

Luke sighs heavily. “You should see how Rafe looks at me when he sees my wings.”

Connor winces. “That isn’t about you, Luke. Like I said, Rafe has some demons. It’s not you. It’s never you.”

Luke runs a hand through his hair, stepping back to stand tall on his own.

We arrived at our floor a while ago, but no one had even looked up when the doors opened. They were focused on Luke and making sure he was a little more healed than he was when we stepped into it. His eyes are clearer now, more unburdened, and Connor smiles at him. “Ready?”

Luke nods, and we leave the elevator together. Connor scoops me into his arms, and we launch into the sky. Connor holds back, his brothers racing each other as they weave through the clouds.

“What is it?” I ask, watching him. Some of the burden I saw on Luke’s face now shrouds Connor’s.

He sighs, watching Luke in the distance. “Luke and Rafe are more alike than either of them knows.”

I search his face, my heart aching for him. I pinch his chin and tilt his head toward me before brushing my lips over his.

Connor hovers in midair. “What was that for?”

“You’re just a really good guy, Con.” I press a kiss to his cheek. “You’re strong.” I kiss the other cheek. “Kind.” I kiss the corner of his lips. “Handsome.” I kiss the other corner of his lips. “Mushy and wonderful.” I hover my lips over his. “And you have the biggest heart.”

Connor smiles. “I thought you hated my mushiness,” he teases.

My lips twitch, and I brush my lips over his. “You make it hard to hate.”

He smirks. “Well, you’re going to have to endure more of it now because I was holding back before.”

I groan. “Oh, no.”

Connor laughs and spins us in the sky before rapidly descending toward the portal to Avalon.