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Summer

B reakfast is as incredible as the dinner Farrah made when she visited Avalon. I am completely awestruck at the way she seems to maneuver effortlessly among her sons and husband, a smile never far from her lips. Warmth radiates from her, yet every so often, I catch her glancing at the door and then at the full plate of lemon bars still sitting on the table. A flash of grief would shadow her eyes, and every single time, Uriel would tighten his arm around her or kiss her on the head in a silent act of support. Not a glance went unnoticed, and finally, he deliberately picked up a lemon bar and ate it.

When we’re all finished eating, Connor stands and takes my hand, leading me to the front door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Farrah asks, her tone more serious than I’ve ever heard it. I freeze on instinct.

Connor sighs, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He turns back to face her. “I was going to show Summer around Silver City.”

Farrah crosses her arms. “I promised Summer I would show her the binder.”

“But, Mom…” Connor groans.

Uriel laughs and pats Connor on the shoulder. “Come on, Son. Let them be. You knew this was going to happen when you came. She’s barely slept since she heard you were coming.”

Connor glances at me, and I nod, reassuring him I’m not going to get freaked out and flee the realm. Farrah holds out her hand, and when I take it, she leads me through the house back to the garden. Off in the distance, I can see where the cloud drops off, their level ending. Even Eden has limits, I guess.

She pulls me to where she has the binder open and two glasses of iced tea set out. A white wooden pergola shades three loveseats, circling a small white table made from the same wood as the structure. Like everything else here, they look plush and comfortable. The blush pink and cream cushions are expertly scattered across the small sofas, and dusky rose-colored teddy bear blankets are draped over the back.

Farrah curls up on the loveseat and pats the space beside her, smiling expectantly at me. I sit down and take a minute to view the garden from this angle. When we first left the house, it seemed perfect and pristine, but there are so many signs that this was home to five rambunctious boys. There are multiple flower beds, all well-preened and cared for. The closest of which is sprouting the most incredible peonies I’ve ever seen. But the more you look, the easier it is to see that this is just a small part of the grounds. To the back, nestled in a tree, I can see a treehouse. Nailed to the trunk is a sign that says, No Girls Allowed . Beneath that one is another sign that says, Except Mommy . My lips twitch. The way the s has been written the wrong way is absolutely adorable.

Deeper into the garden is a large area that seems to be a vegetable patch. It is neatly sectioned, each of the boys having their own little plot. Their names are written on little signs in their messy script, and they have all chosen something different to grow. Farrah must be seeing to them while the boys are at Avalon. But it’s easy to imagine her there, teaching her sons to tend to their patch and nurture life.

“So,” Farrah says, pulling my attention as she reaches for the binder, “this is the binder.”

It sits heavily in her lap, the edges bursting and tabs of every color bristling along the sides.

“I understand you and Connor are very new, and if you don’t want to look through this, I completely understand.” She taps her fingers against the cover. “My boys are my whole life, Summer, and I want them to be happy.” She hesitates for a second. “Connor has never… spoken of any girl he has dated.” Her lips twitch and she looks up as the guys burst from the house, roughhousing and yelling playful insults at each other. Uriel throws a ball to Zane and Connor runs out onto what I assume will become a makeshift field. “He called me the morning after you met.” She laughs softly. “He said, Mom, I’ve met the one. I started your binder after that call.”

I watch as Connor tackles Zane to the ground, his booming laugh carrying over the garden.

“He’s a special guy.” I smile. “You did a really good job.” My stomach curdles at the truth in my words. Surrounded by such a happy and close-knit family, I worry I will never be enough.

Farrah smiles widely, looking at her boys. “Thank you.” She looks at me, holding my gaze. “He did well in choosing you.”

I look away.

“I know you don’t know me very well, and I know you don’t trust easily, but I know what it’s like to feel as if you’re not enough. All I’m going to say to you is…” She waits until I meet her eyes again. “You do not get to decide your worth to someone else. Only they do.”

The words strike true, spearing me through the chest, but there is no pain. Instead, I am filled with a warm, fuzzy comfort that I imagine is what a mother’s love feels like, and I don’t know what to do with any of that.

If Farrah senses my confusion, she doesn’t show it. She taps the book again with her nails. “Okay, are we ready to dive in? Again, these are just preliminary thoughts. We can change whatever you want.”

I nod, and Farrah opens the binder. The front page has Summer & Connor in the most intricate calligraphy I’ve ever seen. She’s about to flip the page when Connor jogs over and sits on the arm of the loveseat, kissing my head.

“Time’s up, Mom. I’m going to show Summer around.”

Farrah closes the book. “But we’ve barely started!”

Uriel walks over and kisses Farrah’s head. “My love, there will be all the time in the world for binders.”

She sighs. “All right then, later,” she says, looking up at her husband with such tenderness. This has to be why she’s obsessed with marriage. She hopes for her children to have something similar.

Connor stands up, pulling me with him. “I know, Mom. It’s torture.”

We’re about to walk back into the house when I turn back to Farrah, hesitating for a moment before saying to her, “The binder looks wonderful. I look forward to working on it with you.” I force a smile, trying to hide my unease at even that small admission of belonging.

Farrah’s eyes go wide, and she beams. Uriel chuckles, sitting down in my space and pulling his wife into his side.

Connor squeezes my hand. “Want to see my room?”

I nod and follow him up the stairs. Connor smiles at me. “You know, that comment will probably make her cry later.”

My lips twitch, and I look at the photos lining the wall. The entire family is perfectly represented. The house has a similar layout to the Morningstar House on campus but is less frat boy and infinitely more homey. Connor’s room is in the same place in this house as the one on campus, and he leads me down the hallway to it. I smile when I notice his door is missing the poorly etched CONNOR , and in its place is a blue and white placard with his name expertly engraved.

“Mom and Dad wanted us to feel at home in Avalon, so they had the Morningstar House built for us,” Connor explains as he notices me looking around. He opens his bedroom door, and I smile when I’m greeted with his scent. Though the room is somewhat familiar, there are differences. The room reads like a visual history of him. There is a large light blue toy box with Conbear painted on the front. He has little metal cars, a slew of action hero figures, karate equipment, a wall of archangel posters, and framed articles about his dad. Then there’s a full wall of Avalon memorabilia.

Connor walks over to his window and holds his hand out to me. I walk over to him, sliding my fingers over his palm. The view outside steals my breath with its beauty. Silver City sparkles in the sunlight. Silver and gold skyscrapers stretch into the sky. Their bases are rooted firmly in the various clouds, but they drift slightly, rising and falling through the pastel-hued air. The sun here emits a light so pure that the feel of it against my skin is almost soothing. The beams catch on the tops of the buildings, sending a spattering of rainbows through the room.

“Woah.” I gasp the word and take a moment just to feel the space and bask in the wonder of it. Connor wraps his arm around my back, pulling me close to kiss the top of my head. We stand in comfortable silence, and I savor the calm. I didn’t realize until now that Connor has been everything but calm since Gia’s murder.

“So, what will the sleeping arrangement be while we’re here?” I ask after a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, am I staying in a spare room or…?”

I look up at him when he doesn’t reply immediately. He is staring down at me, his golden brows drawn in confusion. “You think there’s a spare room around here?”

“Rafe’s room, then?”

Connor grimaces a little. “No.”

“So, your parents will be cool with us… sharing a bed?” I look around and drop my voice. “In sin ?”

Connor bursts out laughing. “What?”

I cross my arms, glaring up at him.

Connor manages to control his laughter just enough to reply to me. “We’ve been dating for months and you think I’ve been sinning ?”

“Well, I don’t know. You’re an angel.”

Connor laughs so hard that he snorts. “Oh, babe, I guess you don’t know the big secret. That book that mortals are so obsessed with? It was written with separate agendas. They muddled the Almighty’s message. Greatly.” He pulls me in closer to him, still chuckling. “I mean, the fact they think the Almighty is a man is a big hint about the liberties they took.”

“Con, are your parents cool with you sharing a bed or not?”

“Yes, they are.”

I nod, only the barest hint of anxiety lingering. “Okay, then let’s continue the tour.”

“Babe,” Connor pulls me closer, “do you want to sleep in bed with me?”

I shrug. “Whatever.”

Connor’s grin is filled with male satisfaction. “You want to,” he says, brushing his lips over mine. I growl, but he just kisses me again. “And that’s really perfect because I want you to.” He smothers my face in kisses, and I can’t help but smile at being showered with such pure, playful affection. It is just one more way he shows me how much he cares about me.

I gently push him away. “Stop,” I groan, but I’m not really forcing him away, or even really wanting him to stop.

“But I love you,” he says, pressing a kiss to my nose and each of my cheeks.

I giggle and lift my face, softening against him. He’s turning me into such a mush. I have spent years pushing people away. I am very good at it. How did this angel figure out how to care for me in a way I would accept?

“And I’m excited to wake up with you tomorrow morning.”

I grab his face and kiss him deeply before pulling back. “The tour.”

Connor smiles brightly. “To Silver City!”