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38

Summer

“ I s he going to be okay?” Alice asks, watching me run my fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him even in sleep. Connor’s out cold, his big body heavy in my arms.

I nod and shift slightly, getting comfortable with him lying partially on top of me. “Yes. Will you text Rafe to let him know Connor is safe and that he’s here? I can’t reach my phone.” I wasn’t moving an inch while Connor needed me.

Alice pulls her phone out of her pocket, and her thumbs fly over the screen as she types out the message. A reply comes almost immediately, and Alice’s lips twitch. “He said, big surprise. I guess no one knows about the murder yet.”

Connor whimpers, and his body tenses. I stretch for the small dagger on my bedside table and slice the tip of my finger before blindly drawing an overly familiar rune on the back of Connor’s neck.

“What’s that for?”

Connor immediately relaxes on top of me. His breathing evens out, and I kiss the top of his head. “It’s for dreamless sleep. It’s not perfect. Sometimes, the darkness of nothing can be just as terrifying as anything the mind can conjure up, but I think he needs it now.”

Nothing is always a comfort to me. The yawning abyss of darkness feels closer to a cradle, shielding me from the horrors of my history.

Alice looks at Connor, something like concern flashing over her face before her attention diverts to an alert on her phone. “Fuck, socials are already suspicious. EverydayEmrys caught him in casual clothes.” She scrolls through the comments. “They’re wondering what brought him back.” Alice looks up at me. “Sum?”

I glance at her over Connor’s shoulder. “Hm?”

“Memory walking is some heavy shit.” She gestures gravely at Connor, the concern back in her eyes. Until now, Alice only acted as if she tolerated Connor’s presence for my sake, but she’s openly revealing that she actually cares for him.

“My dad tried to learn it once. It got us in a lot of shit with the Sorcerer’s Guild when he kept ripping open vamp’s heads with his attempts.” Alice grimaces a little. “Though, I did warn him that gouging the eyes from the guild representative’s head was a bit much.” She stands from the chair and walks over to the bed, carefully climbing in behind me. “I’ll order breakfast.”

“Delicious, an eye-gouging story followed by waffles.” My lips twitch and Alice lets out a loud laugh before grimacing again and whispering an apology to Connor, but he doesn’t even stir.

Alice only leaves our side long enough to collect our food from the door, and she dutifully hand-feeds me with a care that surprises me. I’m half surprised she didn’t just launch pieces of waffle into my mouth from the end of the bed.

I finish eating and am sliding my fingers through Connor’s hair again, but I can sense Alice’s gaze on me. I know she would never hurt me, but she is a predator, and my neck still tingles with the primal acceptance of that knowledge. Her body is tense, and she is worrying her lower lip with her fangs. “What is it, Alice?”

“I wasn’t sure whether to mention this, Sum, but when the headmaster was here, I looked up Gia on Nexus .”

I tilt my head, shifting slightly beneath Connor. “Okay?”

Alice taps on her phone and then turns it to show me the screen. The photo is of a fae female. She’s paler than I am, but her hair is almost the same length and shade of brown as mine. I frown at the photo, noticing how similar she looks to me. Her nose may be a little wider and her jaw more curved, but there is a definite passing resemblance. It could just be a coincidence, though, right? There are a lot of brunette fae on campus.

“She—”

“She’s like the poor man’s version of you. Weird, right?” Alice turns her phone back to look at the photo.

I shake my head. It is paranoid and self-centered to think this is about me. We’re not that similar. It’s ridiculous. “I mean, we both have brown hair and faces.”

Alice squints at the screen and tilts her head a little. “Hm, maybe. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.”

I nod and go back to stroking Connor’s hair, but as the hours trail past, I can’t keep from thinking about Gia and our physical similarities. Was it that thing that was chasing me in the woods? Had it thought I was her? But then my mind supplies an even more terrifying thought. Maybe whoever killed Gia was looking for me.

I’m confident this has nothing to do with Torin. This isn’t his style, not even a little. I’ve been running from him long enough to know how he operates. But why would anyone else be after me? I’m nobody. Just some random female who was cast out and lost when I was an infant, a fae freak with pale eyes.

“Babe?” Connor’s groggy voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I look down at him, brushing a lock of hair from his forehead. “Hi, big guy.”

Alice nods at me and quietly leaves the room, giving us time.

“Do you think I’m a coward?” Connor whispers, pain in his eyes. The question spears me through the chest. Connor is an angel. He is a protector at his core, and now he believes he has failed.

I hold his gaze, tunneling my fingers in his hair. “Absolutely fucking not. You did what needed to be done, and then you came to me. Just as you should have.”

He buries his face into my neck, mumbling against my skin. “I’m supposed to be a warrior.”

“A noble warrior does not look into the face of death with indifference.”

Connor’s voice drops to barely a whisper, and if it weren’t for my elevated hearing, I would have missed it. “I–I have killed before,” Connor begins. No part of me feels any less safe with him. If it did, I would be a hypocrite. I ache to tell him my truth so he feels less alone, but I can’t.

I feel like I know Connor, and I know he wouldn’t have done something so drastic without a proper reason, unlike me. Plus, my best friend has definitely killed multiple people, likely somewhere close to legions.

“It was a demon, but I ended it quick, painless. But what was done to Gia… They obviously tortured her. Even in death, she looked…” His jaw clenches, and he rubs at his eyes. “Agonized.”

I stroke his back, my eyes stinging with tears. “Shhh, big guy. I’m here.”

The memory of that fae male’s body slumping on me fills my head, and I have to work to force it away.

Connor pulls back, his eyes completely wrecked. “I know we have rules about sleepovers, but can I stay here tonight?”

I nod, not even hesitating. If he hadn’t asked, I would have insisted on it, anyway. I had to know that he was okay. Is this growth? Connor exhales in relief and buries his face back against my neck, but his stomach growls loudly.

My lips twitch. “I ordered pizza. It’ll be here in five minutes.” Alice had handed me my phone after we’d eaten breakfast, and I had anticipated that Connor would wake up hungry.

Connor squeezes me and inhales deeply. “Thank you.”

The silence echoes between us. Each pass of my fingers through his hair is as loud as a scream. Every breath is a metronome, keeping a rhythm. I just hold him until someone knocks at the dorm door. “That’s the pizza, big guy.”

Connor squeezes me harder and nuzzles my neck.

“I’ll be right back. I promise.”

He reluctantly releases me, and I climb over him and out of bed. Alice is passed out on the couch, and after I’ve grabbed the pizza, I turn the television off and cover her with a blanket before returning to the bedroom. I close the door. “Con?”

“In here,” Connor replies, stepping out of the bathroom. He looks a little fresher, though his eyes are still haunted.

I hold up the pizza box. “Meat lovers with extra bacon. Your favorite.”

Connor’s lips tilt into a small smile. “Thanks, you’re the best.” He walks to me and kisses me softly before taking the pizza box and sitting on the bed. His head falls back against the wall as if he is too tired to keep it up. “Fuck.”

I sit beside him, watching him from beneath my lashes, trying not to hover. Being there for someone else is new territory for me.

“I feel weak. If I saw them, I could have?—”

“Connor, no,” I interrupt, taking his hand.

He glances at me, his eyes sad. “I’m supposed to be an archangel. A great warrior.”

I shake my head, cupping his cheek. “No. Con. You’re a university student.”

Great destinies are not for the present. They are for the distant future.

Connor sighs and takes a bite of pizza. I shift to sit beside him, and he relaxes into me. We sit in silence while Connor eats three full slices of pizza. When he’s done, I pick up the pizza box and put it to the side. “You should take your pants off. You’ll be more comfortable.”

He gets up to slip them off before lying back on the bed again. I pull on the sweater he was wearing earlier and curl up beside him. I watch him as he stares at the ceiling.

“Con?”

He glances at me and then turns to face me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me in close. I rest my hands against his chest and nuzzle his nose with mine, sharing his breath. His lips twitch, but he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep. The rune on the back of his neck should still be active, but I brush my fingers over it, testing the power in it. I exhale and relax when I feel the pull of the rune, knowing it’ll last all night.

Not ready to sleep yet, I grab my phone and start to scroll through Nexus . I click on the 1015 account to look at their blank profile again. They continue to watch all my stories and have a strong presence on my account. Whoever they are, they are always watching.

My phone pings.

1015 wants to send you a message.

I swallow, my thumb hovering over the notification. I tap it, and my stomach knots when the message appears on the screen.

My breath catches in my throat as I read the words repeatedly, my heart pounding in my chest.

A response comes immediately as if they were waiting for that very question.

I quickly block the account, but then I go back to the messages, reading them over and over. Anxiety coils and writhes inside of me, growing worse every time I read the messages. Their threatening tone sets my teeth on edge, and fear makes me sick to my stomach. Thanks to my shaking hands, it takes a few attempts to lock my phone. I toss it aside and bury my face against Connor’s chest as he sleeps in blissful ignorance, letting his scent comfort me. His arms tighten around me, holding me close even in his sleep. Surrounded by his strength, my sense of security slowly returns, and I eventually fall asleep.

Run. Run. Run.

I pant, the whispered chant continuing in my head. The voice is unfamiliar but familiar at the same time. My lungs burn as I fly through the forest. The impact of the forest floor beneath my feet sends jarring reverberations through my whole body.

A twig snaps behind me. It’s gaining on me. It’s going to get me.

Run. Run. Run.

The words are more urgent this time, getting louder.

I take the chance to look over my shoulder and immediately trip on a branch, hitting the ground hard.

Run! Run! Run, Summer!

The voice screams so loud that a sharp pain spears through my mind. I gulp down air, about to get to my feet, when something cold wraps around my ankle and yanks me back. I cling to the ground, my nails dragging through the mud and moss.

I struggle as I’m yanked back so hard my ankle snaps. Unbearable burning pain radiates up my leg and down into my foot. I try to scream, but there is no sound.

Suddenly, my ankle is released. The only sound is my loud, terrified breathing and the pounding of my heart. A loud snarl triggers terror deep in my primal brain, and the urge to run is nearly overwhelming. Despite my broken ankle, I get to my hands and knees and crawl. I’m wrenched from the ground by my hair and slammed into a tree. My mouth opens wide, gasping for air that won’t come. As I lay on the ground, unable to move, a face appears in front of me. It’s one that I’ve seen before. I saw it for the first time yesterday. A face so similar to my own.

The voice that comes from her mouth is anything but human. It sounds like scorched earth and brimstone. “Summer… they’re coming for you.” Her smile is cat-like, and dirt and maggots fall from her mouth as she starts laughing. She slams a dagger into my stomach and twists it.

I wake with a start, the phantom pain of the blade in my belly and my broken ankle slowly dwindling. My alarm is blaring, and I grab my phone and turn it off, noticing a school-wide notification about an assembly this morning. The memory of the dream and her lifeless eyes still plague me.

It’s not the first time I’ve dreamed of being chased, but it is the first time something other than Torin was chasing me. Gia’s face, her broken, lifeless face lingers in my mind. I exhale and shake my head.

Connor is still sleeping peacefully, and I nuzzle his cheek. “Big guy?”

He groans sleepily. “Yeah?”

“We have an assembly.”

Connor opens his eyes, and his gaze locks with mine, his eyes still holding the memories from the day before. “All right.”

“Shower with me?” I ask, needing to do anything I can to get back that glimmer of sunny joy that has been there since I met him.

He nods and climbs out of the bed, holding his hand out for me. I slide my hand into his and let him tug me to my feet before leading him through to the bathroom. I turn the shower on, setting it nice and warm for us, and then pull off his sweater and my panties before stepping in. Connor follows me in, and I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my naked body to his.

“Thank you,” Connor whispers, pressing his forehead to mine.

I place my hands on his chest and close my eyes, enjoying the safety of being in his arms. The remnants of the nightmare slip off me with the hot water.

I pull back, looking up at him. “Hi.”

“You put a rune on my neck,” he says, his voice thick with affection.

I nod. “I wanted you to sleep without nightmares.”

“You’re incredible.”

I smile up at him and then press a kiss to his shoulder before grabbing my bottle of shampoo. Connor ghosts his fingers down my side, tracing the curve of my hip and the dip of my waist as I wash his hair. “Your shampoo is very,” he pauses for a moment, “scented.”

I laugh softly. “Do you not like it?”

“No, I do! Just not used to smelling as good as you.”

Smooth fucker.

“Just relax, big guy. Let me pamper you.”

“People will gossip if I smell like a giant strawberry.” He is playing with me, but his words are still edged with sharpness, the trauma still lingering. I wish I knew how to lessen his pain, but I don’t even know how to deal with my own.

“I promise I’ll buy some of your shampoo to keep here, okay?”

Connor’s eyes shoot open, and then he grimaces when soap cascades into them.

“Con!” I yelp, directing him under the spray.

Connor winces as he rinses the shampoo from his eyes. As soon as they are clear, he looks at me, his eyes bloodshot but still wide. “You’re not just offering that because of what happened, right?”

My brows furrow, and I brush the lingering shampoo from his forehead. “What?”

He blushes, and my heart softens even more. “About the shampoo.”

I lift an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

“W-Well, you’ve never suggested I leave stuff here before,” he stammers clumsily, rinsing the lingering shampoo from his hair.

“You’ve never slept over before.” I shrug. “It just makes sense if it happens again.”

Connor’s breath leaves him in a whoosh. “Babe,” he cups my cheeks in his large hands, “I want to, but I don’t want you to offer because I’m a wreck.”

I frown a little. “That’s not why.”

He searches my eyes. “It’s not?”

I shake my head.

Connor tips his head. “So you want me to sleep over again?”

I shrug noncommittally. “Maybe.”

A smile brightens Connor’s face, and this one reaches his eyes. He brushes his thumbs over my cheeks. “Really?”

“Maybe occasionally.”

Connor presses his lips to mine, and the taste of his smile prompts my own. “I love you,” he says, licking at my lower lip.

My body goes rigid, the words making every joint lock. My skin crawls with discomfort and then grows so tight that I want to rip it off.

Connor pulls back, looking down at me, his eyes wide. “Fuck. I didn’t say that.” He looks around, dropping his hands from my cheeks. “Forget that, okay?”

I blink and stare up at him. My lips move silently as I try to force myself to say something, to say anything, but my mind is blank.

Connor turns the shower off. “Fuck. Summer, that didn’t happen.”

I just blink again, not even sure if I’m fucking breathing. Connor practically falls out of the shower in his haste to escape. I stand there, the tiled stall getting cooler without the constant stream of hot water. My eyes are fixed blindly on the wall where Connor’s face was a few minutes ago. My hand is still slightly extended in the same position it was in when I was brushing my fingers over his abs.

I’m only vaguely aware of Alice popping her head around the shower door. There’s no embarrassment in her seeing me naked, not in this state of paralysis.

“What did you do to Connor? He just ran out of here half naked.”

I try to answer, to tell her what happened, but the words are lodged in my throat, choking me.

Alice steps in front of me, waving a dainty hand in my face. “Hello?”

“I… Uh…” I manage to choke some sounds out, though I’m unsure if they are actual words.

Alice studies me for a moment with a frown and then slaps me across the face. My cheek stings from the hit, the pain snapping me back into my body.

“Fuck,” I croak out, looking at Alice. “Ouch.”

“You were freaking me out!” Alice replies unapologetically. I am grateful that she got me out of the stupor, even if her method was violence.

I pull my towel from the holder and wrap it around my body. Alice is hot on my heels as I go to my room, my breath growing a little ragged. He didn’t say that. He didn’t mean it. Right? No way. It was just a joke. Maybe it’s not a joke but a trauma response. He’s vulnerable and sad.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. We need to get to the assembly. Did you see the alert?”

Alice gives me a flat look. “I’m ready to go. You, however, are rocking the towel chic look, and I’m pretty sure that’s against our uniform rules.”

His words circle my mind as I dress and push my feet into my heels on autopilot. I grab my pack, not noticing that Alice is glancing at me every few seconds until we are outside.

“What?” I snap.

“Well, Connor isn’t here. He left like his tail was on fire, and you were standing in the shower catatonic, so?—”

“We’re going to be late.” I walk faster, trying to avoid her questions.

The hall is over half full by the time we arrive, and my gaze locks with Connor’s almost immediately. He blushes deeply and waves. I’ve never known Connor to be shy or embarrassed, but now, he looks both. He regrets it. Maybe he didn’t mean it. He’s been through a lot, and we shared a bed, so maybe it was just a slip of the tongue.

Alice and I settle into the seats he’s saved for us. He smiles at me politely, with none of the confident charm I’ve grown so used to. “Hi.”

Alice looks between us, narrowing her eyes. “Okay, what the fuck is going?—”

Stillness and silence settle heavily over the room just before the headmaster’s powerful presence precedes him onto the stage. He sweeps his gaze over the crowd, taking in every student, reading them. My stomach twists when it’s my turn for that impenetrable gaze to lock with mine, and he holds it for what feels like an eternity before moving on to his next victim.

There’s an audible intake of breath from the assembly, preparing for his words. Even without his power vibrating through the auditorium, he’s commanded us to complete silence with only his presence.

“No doubt you’re wondering why I’ve summoned you all here, and why I cut my sabbatical short. I’m sure some of you have heard the rumors circulating around campus.” He glances at a man in a black suit and sunglasses standing just offstage, barely visible. His face is set into flat lines, giving absolutely nothing away. The headmaster sweeps his gaze over the hall again. “I have been advised not to tell you anything, to keep you in the dark. But I am going to ignore that advice. This is my school, and one of my students was murdered yesterday.”

Gasps fill the room, and Connor’s hands clench into fists. He knew what was coming, but obviously, it had a bigger impact than he expected. I shift a little closer to him, trying to offer comfort but unsure how to after this morning’s revelation. Rafe is sitting in the row in front of us, and I watch as his back goes straight and his shoulders tighten. He slowly turns in his seat, his eyes narrowed. Connor sinks lower in his chair, slumping under his younger brother’s stare. Rafe has clearly figured out what the text Alice sent last night was all about.

“Her family has taken her to lay her in her final resting place,” the headmaster continues. “But that’s not why I have summoned you all here.” His eyes meet mine again, the silver even more molten than usual. “I have always placed high expectations on you. Some think they are impossible to achieve, and now, I’m going to expect even more. Someone here knows something. Has seen something. Heard something. I will make time for everyone today. No detail is too small. You may notice there are a couple of strangers present.” He gestures to the male at the side of the stage. “They are members of the Arcane Intelligence Bureau, dispatched from the Grand Arcane. They are here to look into the murder, and they advised me to keep this from you.” The man in the suit shifts slightly under the direct call out by the headmaster. “You are the best the realms have to offer. The strongest. The smartest. The most powerful. Use it. Be the students I know you are. The ones who will shatter the realms when you leave these halls.”

He lifts his chin, and for the first time, the icy facade he utilizes, like a mask, drops from his face. My breath catches, seeing the rage sparking in his eyes. The fear that always skirts up my spine in his presence comes roaring to the surface, and now I understand why. This is what I sensed. This is the son of Merlin, one of the strongest beings ever .

“Now, lastly, I’d like to send a message.” His voice lowers, and the gravity in the room intensifies. The air becomes oppressive and uncomfortable, the lights flickering. “To whoever harmed my student, I will find you. And when I do,” he casts his eyes over the room once more, “you’ll wish I had simply turned you over.” The lights stop flickering the second he stops talking, and the air becomes lighter again. “Dismissed.”