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Summer

“ I can do this all day, Summer,” Connor calls, still standing in the same place. His words spur me on, and I plunge into the crowd of angels moving along the street. I round a corner and am delighted to find a charming market. White tents line the cobbled streets, and this area is quainter than the rest of the city. It is so different in feel and looks that it could be a separate realm. A sense of joy seems to permeate the air here. Angels bustle around, purchasing flowers and produce. There are stacks of colorful spices and bright cloth, intricate carpets, and perfumes spilling from various stalls.

I wander down the street, quietly observing and enjoying the feeling of pushing back against Connor, but my impostor syndrome is still plaguing me. I know that this is just a distraction. Pushing Connor away gives me some semblance of control, and I am desperately holding on to it.

I bob and weave through the other patrons, enjoying the feeling of the sun against my skin. The air feels purer here, and for a realm known for its military, I see a lot of beauty within it. I pick up the reddest apple I’ve ever seen and tap my phone against the reader to pay for it before continuing my stroll. The apple is as crisp and delicious as it looks, maybe the sweetest apple I’ve ever tasted.

As I weave through the market, I feel eyes land on me, tracking my progress along the street. There is nothing angry or hateful in this stare, and is nothing like what I felt in Avalon. Instead, there is a deep sense of knowing that I can’t quite define. I look up and meet the piercing, dark gaze of a stunning woman with ebony skin. Her full lips are unsmiling, but her eyes are gentle. Her hair is shaved close to her head, but what she does have is bright white, the color stark against her brown skin.

An unheard beckoning emanates from her, and I answer its call, not pausing to consider the dangers. She smiles at me as I approach.

“Are you all right?” she asks, her low lyrical voice wrapping around me like a melody. Power surrounds her, almost a physical mist of omnipotence, but there is nothing sinister about it. It’s pure, true, and good .

“Yes, thank you,” I reply quickly, realizing I had let the silence stretch. “I am just ignoring my stubborn boyfriend.” I don’t know why I say it. The words left my lips before I knew what I planned to say. Was she watching me because she knows I don’t belong here? Because she recognizes that I’m some weird fae-like creature wandering aimlessly around Eden?

She laughs, and the sound surprises me. It’s like wind chimes jingling in the breeze.

“Ah, well, the males can definitely be stubborn. Especially Connor.”

I blink in surprise. How the fuck did she know I was talking about Connor? Is our relationship as newsworthy up here as it seems to be in Avalon?

“How did you?—”

“You are not what I expected.” She interrupts me with a smile, and shame creeps over me. Even this complete stranger is disappointed in Connor’s choice. “But I can see why,” she continues. Some of her words are more accented than others. She looks at me so intensely that my hair stands up on the back of my neck. “Such a great destiny,” she whispers, her eyes faintly glowing as she continues to analyze me. She hums thoughtfully, and then she sighs. Her eyes stop glowing, and her stare becomes soft again. “Tell my grandson he will get nowhere acting as such.”

I blink again. “Grandson?”

She smiles kindly and links our arms, leading me back through the market toward Connor, our steps slow. “My name is Yahweh. But most call me the Almighty these days.”

My eyes go wide. I’ve read about the Almighty. Connor has spoken of the Almighty. Surely not. Surely…

“I know I’m probably not what you expected, either.” We stopped walking, and she turned to face me, smiling. All I can do to blink, completely speechless.

“I know he’s a male, but he is a good one. And I know you lack trust. If you let him in, he will be kind about your past. He will be kind about the hidden side of you,” she says.

My brows draw.

The Almighty nods. “The part you hide even from yourself.”

I look away, the unease returning, but there is a sprig of relief knowing that someone sees that part of me. It’s no longer a secret to be held by only myself. While telling Alice of my past eased that burden, what I showed her barely scratched the surface. I may have told her what I did, but I have not told her about the deep, penetrating darkness that inhabits my soul. While at first there is a sense of relief, having someone else acknowledge the darker side of me only intensifies it. I can feel it roiling inside me. It feels like the first deep inhalation after too long underwater, a mix of relief and agony.

She cups my cheek, guiding my eyes back to hers. “Summer, your destiny is great. Greater than you can even comprehend. You will not be able to hide this part of you forever.”

I swallow, fear clutching my heart.

“I grant you one question. One truth. Ask, and I shall tell you.” The Almighty says, watching me.

My eyes sting from phantom tears, my vulnerability stripped and laid bare. I have so many questions and so many truths to uncover, but there is only one screaming in my mind, bouncing around and desperately trying to get out. It’s the one question I have screamed into the lonely nights. My soul begs for the answer, desperate for the truth, but I am completely terrified to voice it. Already, I feel the sorrow of possibly having all my fears realized, but I take a deep breath and steel myself.

“Will I ever find peace?” I force the words out through that barrier of fear, the desire to know greater. I have to know. It is the one thing I have craved more than anything else in the nearly thirty miserable years of my life.

The Almighty’s eyes flicker, and the warmth filling her smile transcends joy. She seems to relax, and I can tell she wasn’t expecting that question, or maybe it’s not one she’s ever been asked. She strokes my cheek with her thumb. “You will find more than peace, my child. You will find happiness. Joy. Belonging.”

I watch her, looking for any shred of deception, but there is none. The words are so difficult to believe. To ask for peace is one thing, but I wouldn’t dare even hope to find joy or belonging. Those things are so far out of my reach that they were not even on my list of possibilities. I would settle for peace. I only asked about peace, so why did she offer more?

For someone who doesn’t trust easily, her words seep into me and melt, merging with and warming every cell of my body. A spark of hope ignites inside my soul, a single light in the penetrating darkness, refusing to be swallowed. Perhaps this is the reason for all the pain and suffering. My path has been treacherous, but it led me here, and maybe this is where I am exactly supposed to be. The Almighty wipes the tear from my cheek and then links arms with me again. We continue to walk toward Connor, who is still standing where I left him and frowning at us. There’s a glimmer of lingering frustration on his face, but there is also a note of concern. No doubt, he was approximately three seconds from coming to retrieve me.

“He does not know it is me. All he can see is an angel walking beside you. You can tell him about speaking with me. Or not. The choice is yours.” She smiles proudly at Connor. “Go back to my grandson.”

I take a step toward him but look back at her. “Thank you.”

She nods once, and then she disappears. In her place is the angel Connor sees, a pretty brunette woman smiling and waving to me.

Connor strides toward me, closing the distance between us as if he can’t stand it any longer. He frowns after the angel walking back toward the market. “Who is that?”

I look up at him, sliding my hand into his. “Take me to the edge of Heaven.”

He looks down at me, searching my eyes. I can tell he’s deciding whether to probe for more information. “Okay.” Connor’s wings spring out, and he picks me up. With a powerful downbeat, he launches us into the sky. “Where did you go?” he asks once we are airborne.

“You were being stubborn,” I reply as he soars across the city, his golden feathers catching the light.

Connor gives me a hard look. “Look who’s talking.”

“I went for a walk,” I reply, clinging to the words of the Almighty, trying to accept them.

Since I started at Avalon, I have experienced genuine kindness for the first time. Yet, the Almighty confirming that things will work out in my future might be the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Connor sighs heavily and slows. I can tell he doesn’t want to arrive at Heaven until we’ve talked. “I don’t like it when you’re being aloof with me,” he says, looking straight ahead. Something in his voice makes any irritation I still feel disappear. “It makes me uneasy. I hate it.” He sighs again. “I know I’m being unfair.”

“Con.” Connor meets my gaze. “Kiss me.”

He leans in and brushes his lips over mine. I open to him, and Connor deepens the kiss. It is sweet, loving, and perfect, but I can feel his anxiety.

“I love you,” he whispers. Sighing softly, I bury my face in his neck, letting my worries melt away. I had barely managed to erect new walls, and here he is, demolishing them without even knowing it. Connor is worth the risk, and so I let myself trust him. I need to strive for peace, and I think this might be the first step.

“Want to just go home?” Connor asks into my hair.

I pull back, looking up at him. “Why?”

“So I can just hold you.”

“Can you hold me where we’re going?”

Connor nods. He picks up his pace again, and I bury my face back into the curve of his neck, shielding myself from the wind. I take the opportunity to inhale his scent and cling to him, showing him how I feel about him in the only way I know how. His arms tighten on me, holding me closer as we soar through the clouds.

Connor lands softly and closes his wings in a soft susurration of sound. He slowly lowers me to my feet, his gaze still a little guarded.

“Welcome to the gates of Heaven, Summer.” He smiles and places his hands on my hips, turning me around slowly.

I gasp. The most beautiful garden stretches in front of me. The grass is plush with wildflowers strewn through the meadow. Trees line a pathway that leads to the edge of the cloud and garden. In the distance, there is a large, ornate gate. It’s at least fifty feet tall and surrounded by pillowy clouds.

“This is the Garden of Eden. It’s why the realm is named what it is. It was built around this gateway,” Connor explains, walking deeper into the meadow. “The path to Heaven is serene for the pure souls and treacherous for those with something to prove,” he recites as he looks at the gates. “This is merely a show. No one knows what the true entrance looks like. No one on this side of life, anyway. It’s purely symbolic now.” I hurry to catch up with him and slide my hand into his, looking up at him and then back at the gates. “Even the highest of angels don’t know what Heaven is. Not really. Only the Almighty does.”

I sit on the soft grass and tug on Connor’s hand until he looks down at me. “You wanted to hold me.”

Connor sits down next to me. He wraps me in his arms and lays us both back, pulling me against his side. I shift onto my side and rest my head on his shoulder, my hand sliding across his chest. The grass is just as plush as it looks, and I sigh in contentment.

“It’s hard when you shut me out.” He idly traces shapes down my back, caressing me.

I sigh heavily. “I was snooping.”

Connor stops drawing on my back for a moment but then resumes. “Snooping?”

I nod, feeling embarrassed.

“Snooping where?”

I sigh again. “In your bedroom.”

“And what did you find that upset you?”

“Your notebook from elementary school.” The new clarity makes me hear how fucking ridiculous I’m being, but I need to hear the words from him. I need to hear him say I’m what he wants, even though I’m broken and messy.

Connor’s hand slows again. “You didn’t like how I wrote my A ’s?”

I glare up at him. “No, I saw…”

Connor’s gaze bores into mine as he waits for me to continue.

“It was a student profile, and you… you said you wanted to marry an angel with the whitest wings. Someone just like your mom.”

Connor shakes his head. “Summer.”

I bury my face against his chest, my words practically a jumble. “IknowI’msostupiditsridiculousandI’mawful.”

Connor’s laugh rumbles through his chest, and he shifts, cupping my chin and tilting my head up. “Summer. I must have been like nine when I did that profile.”

I look away. “Eight and a half,” I grumble, correcting him. “I know it’s silly, but it’s clearly something you wanted, and it is the complete opposite of me.”

“Summer, I am in love with you, not some angel with the whitest wings. And honestly, the fact that I said I want someone like my mother makes me feel like I need some intensive therapy.” He brushes his lips over mine. “You are what I want, Summer.”

I search his bright eyes and the only thing I see is sincerity. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Connor leans in, kissing me again. His desire is unbridled this time, and I can taste his need. I deepen the kiss, moaning softly into his mouth, but pull back before I get lost in him.

“I’m sorry.”

Connor tilts his head and brushes a lock of hair off my face. “For what?”

“Shutting you out.”

“It’s okay, babe. I know today was overwhelming for you. I love you,” he whispers and kisses me again. There is no sense of dread at hearing those words. They almost sound familiar now. They feel easy.

I deepen the kiss, tangling my tongue with his and throwing one leg over his thigh. Connor’s hand slips under my shirt, his hot palm cupping my breast.

“You are just like your father. I swear.” The amused voice comes from above, and I practically jump out of my skin from the surprise.

“Uncle Gabe!” Connor smiles and gently disentangles us before standing and helping me up off the ground. The archangel smiles, his teeth dazzling against his dark skin.

“Hello, Connor. Is this the famous Summer I’ve been hearing so much about?”

I nod, my cheeks heating. “That’s me. Hi.” I smile, brushing some grass off my pants.

Connor nods. “Do me a favor? Don’t tell Dad you caught us here.”

Gabriel laughs. “He wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.”

“Believe me, I’ve heard,” Connor groans.

“How are you enjoying Eden, Summer?” Gabrial asks.

“It’s stunning,” I admit. “This garden, in particular, is simply… spectacular.”

Gabriel beams with obvious pride in his home. “You better hurry home. It’s getting late, and you know your mother will have dinner ready soon.” His eyes sparkle with that something special that all the Morningstar males seem to possess, though Gabriel’s is slightly more wicked than the others. “It was nice to meet you, Summer.”

I nod. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Connor smiles and leads me past his uncle, back through the meadow. “Thank the Almighty, it was Uncle Gabe. Uncle Michael would have been a dick.”

I laugh as Connor scoops me up and launches into the air again.