Page 47 of Beautiful Trauma (The Irish Rogues #5)

A fter almost a week in Boston, it broke my heart to see Mila struggling. Nothing seemed to bring her out of her growing depression. Even though I was supposed to be taking it easy, I’d pushed myself physically to try to help her emotionally.

First, I took her sight-seeing in the city. I thought doing something for others might help, so we volunteered one morning at the mission with Caterina. Since she seemed to really light up around Julianna and Piper, we took them to the aquarium.

But nothing seemed to help.

She continued retreating from me. I was starting to worry that I might lose her. I didn’t know what else to do, so I called in our clan doctor to see her. I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing. Not Mam or Callum and especially not Mila.

When he arrived, I had no idea if she would even see him. I cautiously brought him to our bedroom. To my surprise, she sat up in bed to talk to him.

After leaving them, I went out into the hallway. As I paced the floor, I fought to keep my emotions in check.

“Kellan?”

I whirled around to see Ilsa. Furrowing my brows, I said, “Hey, I didn’t know you were here.”

She gave me a sad smile. “I came to see how Mila is doing.”

“Not good. The doctor is with her now.”

She nodded. “He’ll know what to do to help her.”

“I feel so fucking helpless,” I choked out.

Isla closed the gap between us. “I know you do. I feel the same way. With everything I went through with losing my parents, I feel I should know the right things to say or do to help Mila. But I don’t.” She shook her head forlornly. “Grief is isolating.”

“And so is trauma. I mean, Eamon and I experienced the same thing with Maeve, but we dealt with it in such different ways. And even though he wouldn’t talk about it, deep down I knew if he did, it still wouldn’t help.”

She nodded. “It was the same way with Brooke and me. We’d both lost our parents, but we grieved differently.”

I swept a hand over my face. “What if she thinks that I’m not worth it. That I’ve cost her everything, and being with me is just a constant reminder of all that’s been taken from her.”

Isla stared intently at me. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Kellan. She could never think you weren’t worth it. Besides, she knows she can’t go back to her old world.”

“She could start a new life. One away from all this underworld bullshit.”

With a shake of her head, she countered, “She loves you.”

“But what if that’s not enough?”

We were interrupted by the door opening. As Dr. Morrison stepped out, I rushed to meet him. “How’s Mila?”

At his ragged sigh, my heart clenched. “I’m afraid she’s suffering from PTSD and depression.”

I knew that word and that condition all too well. At the thought of how long it had kept me in its clutches, I couldn’t bear for Mila to have to go through it.

“What should I do?”

“I think you need to take her away from the city. Go somewhere the two of you can be alone. It’s been too much too soon for her. The new city, the new home, and all the new family.”

With a wince, I said, “I should’ve thought this through better.”

“She just needs some time to adjust. I think being alone with you will help her to remember why she gave up her world.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

He nodded. “I’m also prescribing some medication to help.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“Call me if you need me.”

As he started down the stairs, Isla asked, “Where will you take her?”

There were several options like taking her to the beach house my uncle Seamus owned or New York. But I knew in my heart what the best option was. “I’m taking her to my farm.”