Page 10 of Beautiful Trauma (The Irish Rogues #5)

“No, I’m not.”

Mya’s eyes searched mine. “You hurt him just for me?” she asked incredulously.

“Aye, I did.”

“Why?”

I blinked at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Why would you put yourself into danger for me?”

“How could I not?”

“Most men wouldn’t.”

“Then they aren’t really men.” A ragged sigh escaped my lips. “Real men protect those who can’t protect themselves. They sure as hell shouldn’t willingly emotionally or physically abuse them.”

“Sadly, that hasn’t been my experience,” she replied with regret.

“Neither has it been mine.” At her curious look, I jerked a hand through my hair. “I grew up with a monster for a father. He didn’t just beat me and my brothers, but he beat my mother and sister as well.”

As those haunting memories swirled around me, a mirthless laugh escaped my lips. “Like all men who beat women, my father was a coward. As soon as my older brothers got big enough, they stopped him from hurting my mother and sister.”

“And you did the same when you got old enough,” she stated as if she already knew me so well.

I nodded. “Thankfully, he came to Boston with my three older brothers while my mother and sister stayed back in Ireland with me and our youngest brother.”

At the realization of what all I had just told her, I shot to my feet. As regret and embarrassment crashed over me, I swept a hand over my face.

“Don’t do that,” Mya said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“Beat yourself up because you shared something so personal.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Then why don’t I even the playing field?”

“How?”

She pulled herself into a sitting position. Leaning forward, she grabbed my hand. “Men hurting me didn’t start with Anthony.” Cocking her head at me, she asked, “But you already guessed that, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

A regretful sigh escaped her lips. “My father is a monster like yours. He always went after me more than my sisters. My brother would tell you it was because I goaded him, which is true. I refused to take his bullshit.”

I grinned at her. “I’m not surprised by that.”

She returned my smile. “It’s probably a little bit surprising that someone as tough as me allowed myself to get involved with someone like Anthony.”

“People often wear masks to hide who they really are. It probably took a while for him to reveal his true self.”

“It did,” she whispered.

“My brother’s girlfriend just went through the same thing as you with an ex who became a stalker. Like you, she’s a very strong woman.”

“I feel her pain.”

“You don’t have to worry about her. My brother took care of her ex.”

“Like you did with Anthony?”

Unlike Dare, I didn’t string up Anthony and torture him slowly before killing him. But I couldn’t tell Mya that. A statement like that would send her running.

“Exactly.”

“Then he’s got a good heart like his brother.”

With a smile, I replied, “Dare would argue that I’m the one with the good heart, not him.”

When surprise flashed in her eyes at my statement, I furrowed my brows at her. “Did that admission shock you?”

“Uh, no, um, not at all.” With a sheepish look, she said, “I guess I was a little surprised about your brother’s name.”

I laughed. “It’s his nickname. His real name is Darragh.”

“Oh that makes sense.”

A knock came at the door then. “Sir?”

“Come in.”

The door swung open to reveal a waitress holding a tray with what I had requested. “Thank you,” I said, taking it.

“You’re welcome,” she replied before hurrying back out.

After walking over to the table in front of the couch, I set the tray down. When I reached out to pour Mya some tea, I froze at the sight of my blood-spattered hands.

“I really need to get cleaned up.”

“Okay.”

“Will you be okay out here?”

She gave me a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine.”

With a nod, I started to turn to go to the bathroom, but I stopped. At Mya’s expectant look, I allowed my insecurities to gain hold. “You won’t leave, will you?”

When she didn’t say anything, I argued, “I mean, you have every right to get the hell away from me. I just beat up your ex and unburdened dark shit on you. I’d totally run away if I were you.”

“No you wouldn’t,” she replied softly.

Cocking my brows, I asked, “I wouldn’t?”

She shook her head. “Only a coward would run away, and you’re a lot of things, Kellan, but you’re not a coward.”

I knelt down beside her. “That’s where you’re wrong, Mya. Because I’m scared out of my mind right now.”

“You are?”

“I’m a complication you don’t need.”

“That’s not how I see you.”

“That’s because you don’t know me or my world.” I winced at that admission. “I mean, my life is complicated.”

“So is mine as you’re well aware of.”

“If I had any honor in me, I should tell you to go, but I don’t want to. I want you to stay, so I can get to know you. And I’m fucking scared if you do walk out that door right now, I might not ever feel the same way about someone again.”

She blinked at me in disbelief. “I’m fighting the urge to pinch you right now because I can’t believe a man like you is real.”

I took her hand in mine and brought it to my chest. Trying to lighten the mood, I slid it down my pec to my nipple. “That’s a good start.”

A laugh burst from her lips before she twisted my nipple in painful pleasure. “You’re real.”

“A real jackass most days.”

“I doubt that seriously.” Sliding her hand up my chest and neck, she rested it against my cheek. “That’s why I’m going to stay to get to know you better.”

Relief echoed through me. “I’m so fucking glad to hear that.”

“Good. Now go get cleaned up.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I then rose to my feet. “Make yourself comfortable. You should probably drink some water.”

“I will.”

With a smile, I then turned and headed into the bathroom.