Page 44 of Beautiful Trauma (The Irish Rogues #5)

A fter Mila and I went to lie down, exhaustion set in, and we both fell asleep. Mine, however, was aided by pain medication. When I woke up, it was still light outside. Turning my head on the pillow, Mila slept soundly.

As I stared at Mila at peace, worry pricked its way up my spine. She’d been through too much in a short amount of time. There had been Brian’s attack and Dima’s shooting in addition to the most recent events. That was enough to send anyone into an emotional tailspin.

But then, when you added her having to cut ties with her family, I didn’t know if she would be able to survive it. I would do anything in the world for her, but I didn’t know how to fix a broken heart.

At a light knock on the door, I pulled myself off the bed and went over to the door. After creaking it open, Callum stood before me holding a box. He held it out to me. When I took it, I asked, “What’s this?”

“They just delivered some of the contents of Mila’s apartment. I had them put most of them in storage, but there are a few boxes of the personal stuff you asked for.”

While I was recovering, I’d asked Callum to start having some of the Neretti men pack up Mila’s apartment. After everything that had gone down, I feared what retaliation Danill might do to Mila’s things.

“Thanks. I’m hoping this will make her feel better.”

Callum nodded. “She’s going to need some time.”

“I know.”

“Whatever she needs, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Furrowing my brows, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“I think you do.”

I jerked a hand through my hair. “You think she needs a shrink?”

“A shrink, a counselor, a priest–anyone who she can really talk to.”

“She can talk to me.”

He shot me a pointed look. “You of all people should realize that’s a lie.”

“Fuck,” I muttered. Callum was right. I’d turned to Isla for help when I needed someone to talk to. I need to make sure Mila is doing the same thing.

As Mila stirred, I shook my head at Callum. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Callum nodded. “Mam wanted me to let you know that she would bring you guys dinner in an hour.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

As he started back down the hall, I closed the door. After walking back to the bed, I eased down on the mattress beside her. I brushed my knuckles over her jawline.

God, she was beautiful. I still couldn’t believe such a gorgeous creature had sacrificed everything for me. It was overwhelming. I didn’t know how in the hell I could ever repay her.

Mila’s eyes fluttered open at my touch. “Hey,” she rasped.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“I’m a mess.”

“You’re beautiful.”

A vulnerable smile curved on her lips. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

Her gaze went to the box at my side. “What’s that?”

“Some of your things.”

“What?”

“Some of Leo’s men have been packing up your apartment for you,” I replied.

“They have?”

“I asked them to do the personal items first since they can’t be replaced should your father do something to your place.”

She whispered, “You did?”

With a sheepish look, I replied, “I told them to get all of your jewelry, any photo albums or pictures, and any knick-knacks.”

She laughed. “Do I have knick-knacks?”

“You know. The things you sit around. Like maybe a vase or a figurine.”

“Ah, I see.” She smiled at me. “You’re right that I do have those.”

“I knew you’d want the pieces of art as well.”

“Oh yes, I do.”

“It’s kinda wild that I've only seen your apartment on FaceTime,” I teased.

“You weren’t missing much.”

“I disagree.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s a piece of you. It holds clues into who you are.”

“Is that right?”

I nodded. “I mean, you’re a neat freak."

With a laugh, she countered, “I am not.”

“Yeah, you are. Like, there wasn’t anything out of place.”

“Excuse me for liking things to be in order.” When I opened my mouth, she jabbed a finger at me. “And save me from the psychoanalyzing that neat freaks are trying to put order into a world of chaos.”

“Hey, I come from a world of chaos, and I’m still a slob.”

“Great. I can already see our first fights over me being too Type A and you being Type B.”

I grinned as I leaned closer to her. “I don’t mind the fights if it means we can have hot makeup sex.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course you would say that.”

Jerking my chin, I asked, “Why don’t you see what’s in the box?”

“What if it’s personal?”

“After me saving your life and you saving mine, I think we blew past worrying about being personal.”

She laughed. “I guess so.”

When she peeled back the lid, she gasped. “Oh, I can’t believe they got these.”

“What is it?”

After digging inside, she pulled out a multicolored bowl in deep reds and oranges. “This is Khokhloma. They’re handcrafted and painted by Russian artists.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“They belonged to my mother.”

“After he killed her, you and your siblings were still allowed to keep her possessions?”

Mila ran her fingers over the painted leaves on the bowl. “Not exactly. My mother’s parents kept her things for us. After the years passed, Father didn’t care as much if we had a trinket of hers or a piece of jewelry. So slowly we began to integrate the things from our grandparents into our lives.”

Peering in the box, I said, “I think we need to find a piece of furniture for the kitchen, like a shelf or hutch for you to display these.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “My apartment is pretty drab, so it could definitely use some color.”

Mila stared intently at me before dropping the bowl in her lap and grabbing my face between her hands. “Thank you, Kellan.”

“You’re welcome, krasivaya zhenshchina.”

Her jaw unhinged as the Russian words for beautiful woman came from my lips. “Your pronunciation was really good.”

“Thanks. I’ve been working on it.”

“Since when?”

“Since I left you after that night in Dublin.”

With a smile, Mila brought her lips to mine. After a somewhat chaste kiss, she pulled back. “How do you say 'beautiful man' in Irish?”

“You don’t.”

“Huh?”

I chuckled. “I mean, you would say a man is handsome or good-looking, which is fear dathúil .”

“Well, I think you’re beautiful.”

Leaning over, I nipped her lip with my teeth. “Mila, you’re killing my ego,” I growled.

“Why?”

“Because no self-respecting man wants to be called beautiful.”

“Tell me how to say ‘you’re a beautiful man’ in Irish,” she demanded.

Since there was nothing I wouldn’t do for this woman, I replied, “ fear álainn .”

She appeared thoughtful for a moment. “So alainn means beautiful?”

“Yes. It’s why we named our Gentleman’s Club that.”

Mila blinked at me. “ Gentleman’s Club ? Isn’t that a nice way of saying a Strip Club?”

Oh fuck. I’d gone and done it now. But since I knew there could be no secrets between us, I had to tell her the truth. “Just like Bandia, all of my brothers except for Callum own a stake in it.”

“Why doesn’t Callum?”

“Originally, it was a bone of contention with him and Caterina, but now she’s a club mother.”

“What the hell is that?”

“It means she goes down two to three times a week to check in with the girls, and she cooks for them.”

“Do you go there often?”

“It’s really more Eamon’s club now since the others are married.”

She cocked her brows at me. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I sighed. “Yes, I go there once a week to check on the books.”

“Do you partake with the dancers?”

“No. I do not.”

“You really expect me to believe a sexy, single man like you doesn’t get a lap dance or two?”

Apparently, tonight was about unburdening myself of more than one secret. “One of the dancers there broke my heart. After we stopped dating, I could never bring myself to do it again.”

While she appeared relieved, I could tell she had more questions. “Is there…prostitution?”

“Feck no! It’s just your average strip club. Well, the clientele is made up of very wealthy men, unlike most clubs.”

When Mila remained quiet, I asked, “Your father doesn’t own any clubs?”

“Not like that.”

“That you know of.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You’re right. I’m sure he’s involved in more dirty dealings than I know about. I hate to think of my brothers being a part of it.”

“If you want me to sell my stake in Alainn, I will. I’m sure Eamon would be happy to own a greater stake.”

“Do your other sisters-in-law not mind besides Caterina?”

“Well, Isla met Quinn there when she was a dancer.”

“Isla was dancing?” she questioned incredulously.

“Yes, to put herself through grad school. And considering all the insanity that Ava and Dare have been through, I’m not sure if she’s aware of his involvement with Alainn.”

Mila nodded. “I mean, if it doesn’t bother them, then it doesn’t bother me.”

“You don’t need to think about them. We will do what is comfortable for you.”

“You’re spoiling me again,” she said with a smile.

“If doing what makes you feel comfortable is considered spoiling, then you'd better get ready for a lot of it.”

When another knock came at the door, Mila jumped. She gave me a sheepish look. “Sorry. I keep forgetting we’re not alone.”

“Unfortunately not,” I mused as I went to the door.

To my surprise, Caterina stood outside with a basin in her hands. “Hey, just call me Nurse Ratched here to change your bandages.”

I laughed. “Come in.”

At the sight of Caterina, Mila rose off the bed. “Please don’t get up just for me. There’s plenty of room in that king for me to do what I need to do,” Caterina said.

I sensed Mila wanted a connection to the moment, so I asked, “Will you help me unbutton my shirt?”

She smiled. “Of course.”

As she started working on my buttons, Caterina set out the materials she needed. “This would be much less messy in the medical bay, but I figured you’d had your fill of that in the last couple of days.”

I grunted. “You guessed right.”

Once Mila had my shirt unbuttoned, she helped me take it off. “Do you need more pain medicine?” she asked at my stiff movements.

“I think I can make it a little longer.”

She pursed her lips at me. “Don’t try to be a hero, Kavanaugh.”

I laughed. “Fine. I’ll take some, Korolova.”

While she got my pill and some water, I went over to the bed. After taking the medicine, I eased down on my stomach. “I wish you could take an Epsom salt bath for those sore muscles, but there’s no way with your back,” Caterina said.

I sucked in a breath at the mere thought of it. As Caterina began cutting my bandages, Mila hung back unsure of what to do. Caterina must’ve sensed her apprehension because she asked, “Do you want to help?”

“I’m not really good with medical stuff,” Mila admitted.

Caterina smiled. “That’s okay. You can hand me the things I need without looking.”

Mila nodded. “Okay.”

“Grab yourself a pair of gloves out of the box.”

As Mila put on the protection, Caterina said, “You know, I’d never been to Boston when Callum brought me here.”

“Really?”

“While I grew up in New York, I’d been living in a convent in Sicily.”

“Oh, that’s right. Kellan told me about how you were kidnapped.”

With a smile, Caterina said, “From the moment I met the Kavanaugh brothers, Kellan stood out to me.”

“Because of how handsome he is?” Mila asked.

While I flushed under her compliment, Caterina replied, “Well, there was that, but it was his compassion. After being drugged, I had the worst headache, and he brought me medicine on the plane. And then when I refused to eat, he fed me soup.”

Mila’s eyes grew soft. “He really is the most amazing man.”

“Yes, he is.” With a wink, Caterina said, “He also has the most adorable blush when he’s embarrassed. Doesn’t he?”

I should’ve hated that it was at my expense, but I loved the sound of Mila’s girlish giggle. “Oh, yes, he does.”

I hissed as Caterina began to clean the wounds on my back. “Maybe we should wait until your pain medicine kicks in,” Mila suggested.

“No. I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why don’t you hold my hand to get me through it?”

“If Caterina wasn’t here, I’d think you were trying to come on to me,” Mila teased.

At my chuckle, Caterina laughed. “That’s one trait all the Kavanaugh brothers have in common.”

“Being horndogs?”

“Absolutely.”

As Mila took my hand in hers, she squeezed. “You’re so brave to endure all that you did. And for me.”

“I could say the same to you.”

Caterina glanced at the two of us. “I want you to know that I’m not just here for Kellan, but I’m here for you as well.”

“I appreciate that.”

Jerking her chin at the scrapes and bruises on Mila’s arms, she asked, “Do you want me to look at those?”

“They’re healing. I got patched up in the medical bay when Kellan was out cold.”

“Let me know if I can do anything for them.”

Mila smiled. “Thanks.”

As Caterina continued staring at Mila’s arms, she sighed.

“I’ll never forget how hard those first weeks in Boston were.

I was getting used to a new city, a new family, and an entirely new way of life.

Not to mention being married to a man I didn’t know.

Callum wasn’t around as much as I would’ve liked for him to be, but even if Kellan wasn’t hurt, he would still take the time for you. ”

I squeezed Mila’s hand. “I sure would.”

Mila leaned forward to give me a brief kiss. “That doesn’t surprise me at all.”

As Caterina patted my wounds dry, she said, “I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t feel bad about having some adjustment issues.

It isn’t just Kellan who is here for you.

Isla, Ava, and myself have all been through our own trauma of kidnappings and beatings.

” At the horror on Mila’s face, she said, “But never at the hands of our men. Just like Kellan, they’re our saviors. ”

“You really know how to give a good egotrip, Caterina,” I teased.

She laughed. “I’m just telling it as it is.”

“Kellan always gets a big head,” Mila said with a wink.

“Cheeky lass,” I mused.

“Okay, time to sit up so I can wrap your bandages,” Caterina instructed.

The pain medicine had started working a little more because I was able to sit up without groaning. “When I finish, do you want me to tell Orla you’re ready for your dinner?”

Before I could reply, Mila said, “Oh no, we’ll eat with you guys.”

Caterina’s brows popped wide. “Are you sure? It was an insane bunch earlier, and Maeve and Rafe just got here with their boys.”

Mila bobbed her head. “I’m sure. I would really like to meet Maeve.”

Although she sounded certain, I could hear the apprehension wavering in her voice. But I didn’t want to say anything in front of Caterina.

“Don’t worry. It won’t be like this every night,” I assured Mila.

“It’s okay. I’m used to a big family.” As the words left her lips, Mila’s face crumpled. As I reached for her, she shook her head. “I think I’ll go take a shower and freshen up before dinner.”

She hurried past me and Caterina into the bathroom. After the door shut and locked, I exhaled a ragged breath. “Fuck.”

Caterina rubbed my arm. “I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“So do I.”

I wished that more than anything in the fucking world.