Page 71 of Awakened Desires

The baby makes a cute snuffling noise as he wakes up. My heart squeezes with love. Then he starts to cry.

"Aidan is hungry," Niamh says. "Feed him." She doesn’t attempt to pick him up.

I scoop him into my arms, cradling him against my chest, as I fill the kettle and switch it on.

"After he’s fed, would you take him for a walk so I can get some sleep?" she asks.

"Whatever you need."

She keeps staring out the window. "Thank you. You're good with him."

"So are you. It will get easier. As he gets older, he'll sleep longer."

"I know. That it'll get easier, I mean. I'm not good with him. I think he knows I don't want him." She looks at me. "Maybe he'd be better off with you."

My eyes widen. "You don't mean that."

She shrugs. "Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. Would you want him? Full-time, I mean."

I stare at her. "I wouldn't want to take him away from you."

"You don't want him either."

"That's not what I said."

I give Aidan my finger. He suckles on it, which stops him from crying. I jiggle him in my arms while I wait for the water to cool. Half an hour is going to feel like a long time. I can't imagine how hard it was for Niamh overnight, especially if Aidan was fussing at the breast rather than feeding.

"I do want him. I was shocked when I found out you were pregnant. I wasn't sure I was ready to be a dad, but I knew I was when I held him in my arms for the first time. But he needs his mam as much as he needs me. Once you've had more sleep, you'll feel differently. You love him. I know you do. You're going to be a great mam."

She looks out the window again.

"Have a nap," I suggest. "I'll keep him as quiet as I can. Once he’s fed, I'll take him for a walk. You'll feel better after a nap." If I say it enough, maybe it will come true.

She nods and lies down on the bed, tucking her hands under her cheek. "Thanks, Callan."

"I quit my job this morning. I've given notice on my flat. I told you I was staying to help, and I meant it. I'll be a part of Aidan's life. I'll help you in any way I can. I promise."

She closes her eyes. "I know. I'm sorry for snapping. I'm just tired. You're right. Things will feel better after a nap."

* * *

I try not to worry about Niamh as I walk home. She seemed happier after having a nap while I walked the streets with Aidan for two hours. It made it easier to leave. I promised I’d be back in the morning and told her to call me overnight if she needed anything.

It’s just gone five when I get back to Rory’s. He and Stefan are chatting in the kitchen.

“How did it go with Niamh and the baby?” Rory asks.

“Aidan.” It feels good to say his name.

Rory grins. “Niamh liked your suggestion for a name?”

I try to smile, but it feels strained. “Aye.”

“That’s great.”

“I…sort of promised I’d have Aidan one night to let Niamh sleep. I can take him to a hotel if she takes me up on the offer.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Stefan says. “No one will mind if you want to bring the baby here.”