Page 30 of Awakened Desires

“Thanks, Callan. How long can you stay in London?”

“Until the weekend.” I grimace. “I know it’s not long, but it’s a bad time for me to be away from work. It was hard enough persuading my boss to let me take a week off.”

“I’d better start eating pineapple and curry, then.”

I frown. “Why?”

“They’re meant to bring on labour.”

“That sounds like an old wives’ tale.”

“Maybe.”

I look around the room again. “Do you need anything for the baby?”

“I don’t think so.” Niamh points under the bed. “I’ve got some baby clothes, blankets, and nappies. There’s no room for a pram, and I’m not allowed to leave one in the hall. My landlord said it would be a safety hazard if we had to evacuate the building.” She gestures to the storage beneath the sink. “I’ve got some baby bottles, formula, and sterilising fluid in case breastfeeding doesn’t work out. I can boil the bottles clean in a saucepan on the hob.”

“What about a baby carrier?”

She smiles. “That would be good. It would make taking the baby for a walk easier.”

I have no clue what else she might need. “If you think of anything else while I’m here, just ask, okay?”

“Thanks.”

“Do you have a bath in the shared bathroom?”

“Only a shower. I’ll bathe the baby in the sink. And before you ask, no, I don’t have room for a baby bath.”

My chest tightens. “Okay.” I glance around. I’m not sure I can imagine a baby being brought up here, but I’m not in a position to do anything about it. “Do you want me to visit you each day?”

“You don’t need to.”

“I want to.”

“No, you don’t. You feel like you should.” She takes another deep breath. “Late pregnancy is making me cranky. You’re a nice guy, Callan, but I don’t want to sit here being awkward with you day after day. We’ve not got much to say to each other anymore.”

“I tried to make things work.”

“I know you did. We both did. But they didn’t, and that’s okay. Some things aren’t meant to be. Ending it was the right thing to do. You know that, don’t you?”

I stare at the floor. “Yes. I’m still sorry about the way things turned out.” I can’t help thinking it was more my fault than hers. I couldn’t tell her about what Coach did to me, which meant there was always an ugly secret between us. One she knew existed but couldn’t guess at.

She holds up her hand. “Don’t. You need to stop apologising. We were both at fault. It takes two to make a relationship work and a whole lot of hard work and compromise.” She stands and cups my cheek in her hand. “I’ll always care about you, Callan, but I don’t love you anymore.”

I blink fiercely as I look up to meet her stare. “I’ll always care about you too.”

“Can we agree not to spend the time between now and the baby’s birth sitting in awkward silence or, worse, making each other cry?”

“Yes.”

“You should go.” She leans down and kisses my forehead. “Thanks for coming and for the teddy bear. I’ll call you when I go into labour. Why don’t you take the chance to look around London while you’re here? It’s a great city. Lots to see and do. I think you’ll like it.” She steps away from me.

“That’s a good idea.” My voice is weak. “If there’s anything you need. Anything at all.”

“You’re here. That’s all I need right now. Oh, and a baby carrier. That’s a grand idea.” Niamh pecks my cheek. “I’ll be in touch. Hopefully, sooner rather than later.” She pats her bump. “Do you hear, baby? You need to come before your daddy has to go back to Dublin.” Her eyes go wide. “It’s kicking.” She grabs my hand and places it on her bump. “Can you feel?”

A laugh bursts out of me as I feel a strong kick against my palm. “Yes.” My heart melts as the baby kicks again.