Page 68 of Awakened Desires

Callan shrugs. "It's no big deal.” Is he saying that to convince himself or me? “I can lie there, doing nothing but relaxing. It sounds nice."

"It will be," I promise.

“I know it will. You’ll take care of me.”

I will take care of him. I’ll make it the nicest experience Callan has ever had.

13

CALLAN

I'm not sure why I offered to be a temporary sub for Rory, but as I call my landlord, it's all I can think about. Will I like it? Will it freak me out? I want to be in control. Will I be giving that up? Can I give it up? Rory mentioned safe words. I don’t know if that makes me feel better or more worried. Not that I should be concerned. I trust Rory. I know he wouldn't do anything that would make me feel uncomfortable. If I want him to stop, he will. I'm as sure of that as I am that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

Stefan comes in during my phone call, and he and Rory talk quietly. I can't pay attention to them and my landlord, but I think they're talking about the wax play. Does wanting to do it mean that I have a kinky streak? No. I doubt that. All it means is that I want to do something nice for Rory. He said it wouldn't be kinky, that it would be like a massage. I can cope with that. Can't I?

As I suspected, I have to give a month's notice, and I can't get out of it. I’ll have to find work here soon, or money will become a big problem. I know Rory and his housemates have said I can stay, but I can't sponge off them indefinitely. I need to offer them at least some rent.

"Is everything okay?" Rory asks as I hang up.

I nod. "I've handed my notice in on my flat." I inhale sharply. "That's it. I've quit my job, given up my flat. I’m moving to London. All that's left to do is let Mam and Dad know, but that can wait." I don't have the energy to deal with my parents right now.

"Rory said you've offered to be his wax play subject,” Stefan says.

"Aye."

"I'm free now if you both are."

My heart kicks up a notch. My mouth goes dry. Can I do this? I won't know unless I try, and I don't want to let Rory down. I offered, so I need to go through with it.

"You don't have to do it,” Rory says.

His words calm my heart. He's the reason why I’ll go through with this. "I want to." I look into his eyes. "I trust you."

Rory's pupils shrink, and I swear he sucks in a breath. "Thank you," he stammers.

The thing is, I think I'd do anything for Rory. I felt that way as a kid, so I took the blame whenever we got into trouble. As an adult, I realise that feeling has never gone away. I would move heaven and earth for Rory if he asked me to and probably would even if he didn't. Rory has never asked anything of me, which is why I want to do this for him, why I will do this for him.

“But I should go and see Niamh and the baby first.” I can’t put my curiosity above their needs, especially when Niamh was so tired and fed up last night.

“Of course,” Rory says.

“I’ll be around until seven,” Stefan says. “I’m working at The Library tonight.”

“Seven. Right.” It’s barely nine thirty, giving me plenty of time with Niamh and the baby. It also gives me time to change my mind. I hope I don’t, but I can’t be sure I won’t.

Stefan goes to the cupboards and starts making coffee.

“I should go.” I shake the rattle. “Thanks for this, Rory.”

He smiles. “Let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

“A rocking chair, like the one your dad made your mam.”

He lifts his eyebrows.

I wave my hand. “Forget it. I’m kidding. I’ll see you later.”

“Later.”