Page 58 of As a Last Resort

SAMANTHA

The street Mary Kay and Bill lived on was already parked up with cars and white golf carts were shuttling guests to the house, pearl-colored balloons whipping behind the back wheels.

I sat in my car and checked my phone, trying to stall just a few seconds longer.

Ivy had offered to come down and be my wingman for when I crumpled to the ground after confronting Austin, and I didn’t hesitate to take her up on the offer.

I was sure I’d need an emotional support buddy after the carnage that was about to go down, but she texted and was stuck at the airport after landing and would be late.

I was on my own.

Facing an entire bridal party and all the extended family was much easier thinking Ivy would be by my side. But I would do this the right way. No more running away, regardless of how much it hurt. And that meant telling Austin how I really felt.

IVY: how do u feel

ME: Like I’m about to throw up.

IVY: not ideal but workable

ME :

IVY: still on tarmac

god help me get off this thing

fun fact…

did u know alligators usually mate in the water

i’ll b there soon

I did not, in fact, know that. But I put my phone down. It was time to man up. I’d walk into that party, find Lexi and apologize in person first, then find Austin and voluntarily throw my heart into a meat grinder.

I walked up the Marcs’ white shell drive to the perfectly manicured hedges and blooming hydrangea bushes that lined the small sidewalk leading out back.

The sounds of music and merry voices drifted around the house as I walked down the stone pathway carved into the lawn.

It looked like someone spent all day out there with a pair of baby shears, meticulously trimming each blade of grass with a ruler.

The backyard twinkled. Edison lights seemed to be suspended in thin air.

Couches and little sitting areas littered the expansive lawn, looking out over the water.

There was a small stage set up on one side with a string quartet.

In the middle of the yard, a large seafood display sat on top of a sculpted ice table the length of a car, covered with snow crab legs, stone crab, shrimp, and oysters with lemons and small pots of cocktail sauce nestled in between king crab legs.

I took a deep breath and scanned the crowd. I spotted Rex on the far side of the lawn with a bunch of women laughing. They all doubled over giggling in the exact same way, laughing with their mouths open and squinting their eyes shut. His sisters, no doubt.

“Sam!” I heard Lexi call out my name from back toward the house. “You’re here!” She bounded up to me and tackled me in a full-blown hug.

“I wouldn’t have missed it.” I pulled her back just a bit.

“But before you say anything I have two things. One, I’m a total and complete jerk and I’m sorry for yelling at you.

I’m the worst and I know it. And although I thought about heading back up to New York City to avoid seeing your brother tonight, I didn’t.

One step at a time. You’re important to me and I love you and that’s all. ”

She smiled. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too. And two, I already know about Austin and Vanessa.” She blinked. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s fine. I’m fine. I want him to be happy.”

“What about—?”

“And tonight’s about you. And that’s what’s important.”

“Did you—?”

“I saw her car. And I saw them through the window. I wasn’t snooping or anything, it just, whatever. I totally was but I didn’t really see anything but, ugh , she’s the worst isn’t she?”

“She is, but she’s not—”

“It’s fine if she’s here,” I interrupted. “He has a right to bring whoever he wants to your wedding and you should be supportive of him and that’s fine.”

“Agreed but—”

“No, don’t tell me. I don’t need to know. She can look at me all she wants with her little glowy vibe thing happening but I came here to say some things to Austin and I’m going to say them.”

She cocked her head. “Like what things?”

“I need to apologize. But there’s something I need to tell him that you definitely aren’t going to love.

” I had never come right out and told Lexi about my feelings toward her brother, and I wasn’t sure how she was going to take it.

But I was running out of time and while I already had my big girl panties on for the day, I figured I might as well spill.

“You’re in love with my brother,” she finished. My eyes went wide. “Yes, I’m fully aware. Do you seriously think I don’t know you that well? You’ve always been awful at hiding your feelings.”

I was so relieved she was smiling. “I told him he wasn’t anything special. That what we’ve had these last couple weeks is no big deal, but it is to me and I need to tell him.”

“I know it is to you, and honestly, I was just scared that it would blow up from the very beginning. You both are too important to me to let something tear one of you away again.”

“I completely understand, but I don’t know if it even matters at this point. I mean, if he wants to go the whole Snow White route then fine, so be it, but at least he’ll know the truth about how I feel.”

“Snow White?” she asked.

“The whole vibe she has going on. You should have seen her. I’m surprised there weren’t little gophers dancing around her and a bluebird singing on her shoulder.

I don’t remember her being that glowy .” She looked at me like I had two heads.

“I don’t want to judge, but I might throw in that he really shouldn’t trust her, like, at all.

We aren’t the only two options in the world but cheating on your husband with your ex-fiancé is kind of dirt. Right?”

“Right.” She nodded slowly.

“I’m going to go find him but I think I might need to puke in the bathroom first.”

“For real?”

“I just need a minute to send my stomach back down out of my throat.”

“Right. Okay, inside you go. I’ll keep my eye out for him. And Sam? Thank you for showing up.”

“I meant it. You’re worth staying for.”

On my way to the bathroom, I heard a few voices coming from Austin’s old room. I slowed down to listen.

“She’s pregnant?” a deep voice asked in a whisper. I was pretty sure it was Patrick. “Man, when did she tell you?”

“This morning.” All the oxygen left the room.

That was Austin’s voice.

“Wow. She couldn’t have waited until after tonight? Kind of big news to drop right before your sister’s wedding.”

“She always did like to upstage.”

“Is she excited?” Patrick asked.

It felt like the air melted around my head. This morning someone told Austin they were pregnant.

Vanessa.

Vanessa was there.

Vanessa’s pregnant? That explained the ethereal vibe she had going on. That was a thing, right? But why would she tell Austin?

Dread pooled in my stomach.

Austin couldn’t be the father. There’s no way that could happen. Right? But why would she have been at his house?

The dread was boiling now. Tom and her were together at the bar.

But Austin wanted to get out of the bar fast when he saw them.

He wouldn’t do that to Tom. Seeing us at the bar must have sparked something for her again.

Or maybe it was going on before that? He didn’t tell me. Should he have told me?

I felt a bit faint. It’d only been a few weeks. Could you even know that early?

I ran outside and took a big gulp of the night air. My eyes searched frantically for Lexi. I didn’t need to stay. Not tonight. I needed to leave.

I spotted her across the lawn and ran to her side.

“She’s pregnant, Lexi.” I couldn’t believe the words pouring out of my mouth.

“Vanessa?”

“Yes, Vanessa. She’s pregnant. How could you not tell me?”

“It’s just the spawn of Satan. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Was she nuts? That was her future niece or nephew she was talking about. She looked over my shoulder and her eyes grew wide.

“Sam?” Austin’s voice came from behind me and was like warm molasses dripping down my lower back.

Shit.

I closed my eyes. I could at least apologize. That’s what I came here to do, without any sort of promise for anything more. Because clearly that possibility had been set aflame with a bottle of lighter fluid tonight.

I turned around.

“Hey, hi.” I didn’t expect the wave of nausea to hit me so squarely in the forehead.

“Hi.” His smell circled us. The last time we were this close I was turning away from him.

I awkwardly looked around trying to find something to latch on to. “I guess congratulations are in order?”

“Yeah, I guess they are.” He looked at Lexi.

“So, you’re happy then?” I asked, acting like my entire life didn’t feel like it was on the line with this one single question.

“Of course, I’m happy. How could I not be?” The blow felt a little more consuming than I was ready for, but I forced a smile. I had my chance, and I said no. I would be happy for him.

“Hey, Austin,” Lexi started, “tell her what exactly you’re happy ab—”

There was a tapping on the mic and all eyes went toward the small stage area. Rex caught Lexi’s eye and waved her and Austin over to the head table.

“Don’t go anywhere,” Lexi ordered more forcefully than I thought necessary. “We’ll chat after this.” Austin gave me a small smile as he walked away. My body swayed to follow him, like it didn’t understand I was meant to stay here.

Rex’s dad took center stage, warning the guests there was no way Rex’s four older sisters would miss a chance to share war stories of their brother as a toddler.

So, with a grin, he handed over the mic.

Stories of braces and awkward first dates topped memories of Tic Tacs up his nose and the one time he got stuck in the toilet as sister after sister outdid the one before her.

After thirty minutes, every guest’s face was streaked with tears.