Page 32 of As a Last Resort

AUSTIN

She didn’t remember a single thing from last night after we left the bar.

I wasn’t going to tell her I carried her all the way home—or that she caught a second wind the moment she stepped into my kitchen and raided my pantry of every carb I had.

Or that as much as I wanted to climb into bed with her, I slept on the couch but got up every hour just to make sure she was still there, sleeping soundly wrapped up in my sheets.

It was Saturday. It was one of the busiest days for the boat, but I didn’t want her to leave just yet.

I texted Patrick and asked if he could handle the runs across the water for half the day with our normal crew.

It was a well-oiled machine, and he’d been asking to give his cousin a shot at helping run the boat.

I figured today was as good as any. Once I confirmed I was not in the hospital and that I, in fact, had not lost my mind, he enthusiastically agreed.

“I want to take you somewhere,” I told her after she was finished with breakfast.

“I don’t think I’m in the best shape to be going anywhere.” She put her forehead on the counter again, but was starting to get a little color back.

“Trust me. The fresh air will be good for you.”

“Fresh air sounds miserable. And I don’t have the right shoes.”

“I’m going to run you by the bungalow to get some clothes on the way.”

She looked up at me. Her ponytail had started to shift over to the side of her head and pieces were loose around her face. Her mascara had run a bit under her eyes. She looked perfect. “Do I have a choice?”

“You don’t.” I lifted her off the stool.

After a bit of a touch-and-go boat ride, we pulled up onto Birchwood Beach. She looked around completely mesmerized, like I knew she would.

“I’ve never seen anything like this in my entire life. How did I not know this was here?”

“It’s still a bit of an unknown treasure. And it only shows up at low tide,” I answered.

I watched her walk down the beach and up to one of the mammoth driftwood branches that towered above her head.

The trunk was on its side and still stood taller than her.

She ran her hand down the length of the old gnarly wood, tracing the cracks and breaks along the trunk.

Warped branches jetted out like they were desperately trying to reach something but time froze them in their effort.

“If you come during high tide, the water covers all of the branches completely so you’d never know they were here.”

“So you could boat over all this and never know these were underwater, just sitting there?” she asked.

“Yep. There are a few tiny branches that stick up, but not enough that would make you look twice. Most are below the surface.”

“They’re so sad looking. But they’re beautiful.”

There wasn’t a soul in sight. The only sound was the waves rolling onto the beach. The trunks and stumps littered the shore. You couldn’t walk more than ten feet without running into a skeleton of one that rivaled the size of the last.

“I feel like I’m walking through a graveyard.” Her words came out small and hushed.

“This whole beach used to be a forest that protected the island, but with time, the water and storms eroded the whole thing, leaving all these driftwood husks behind.”

“How far do they go?”

“They line the shore for about a mile down the beach.”

She climbed up one that dwarfed her small frame and sat on top. “Can you take a picture of me?”

Something unfamiliar bloomed in my chest as she smiled at me, hanging off the branch like a kid.

I took out my phone to take a picture and saw a text from Lexi. She said to call her when I had a sec. It was about Sam. I’m sure she wanted a complete download on the morning shenanigans, which she wasn’t going to get just yet.

“I can’t stay up here all day you know!”

“Hold your horses.” I snapped the picture and she jumped down.

I led her to an open patch in the middle of the beach forest. She was going to start getting queasy if she didn’t keep her stomach full.

I laid out a blanket I brought and pulled out cheddar and apple grilled cheese sandwiches from the Corner Shop.

“Did you steal this from one of your movies?” she asked.

“No, but it would make a pretty iconic scene in one, don’t you think?”

“What’s your favorite?” she asked.

“Movie or scene?”

“Couple.”

“Yikes, that’s a hard one. Allie and Noah are the clear front-runner, but second is rough. Probably Meg and Tom in Sleepless .”

She laughed so hard she started choking. I handed her a water bottle.

“You really are serious, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Dead.”

“I always thought your parents stepped out of an old-fashioned romance. When Lexi and I were in high school and your mom would cook dinner, your dad would walk in and wrap his arms around her as she stood in front of the stove.” She looked down at her hands and shook her head.

“I have no idea why I remember that so vividly.”

“They were very much in love. They still are.” I opened her bag of chips and handed them to her.

I wanted to ask about her parents, but I wasn’t sure if she felt comfortable talking about them.

I didn’t know them when we were younger.

I saw Sam’s mom around town now more than I did back in high school and I couldn’t really place her dad.

But I wanted to know more about her. “Were your parents ever like that?”

“My dad was this happy bubble that walked around making other people shine brighter because of him. My mom was not,” she said with a laugh. “But when he was with her, he turned a spotlight on her and she came alive.” She shook her head. “You okay after last night? Seeing Vanessa?”

I nodded.

“Do you mind if I ask what happened?”

She was probably the only one left on the face of the earth who didn’t know what happened. “She fell out of love with me, I guess. There were signs I should’ve seen that I didn’t. We worked for the most part. We’d been together so long.”

“You were homecoming king and queen.”

“We were.” I remembered how completely ridiculous I felt walking around the football stadium with her.

She lived for that kind of thing—the attention, the buzz of it all.

I didn’t. “For the most part it was great. Really great, I thought. But looking back now, the big stuff didn’t fit and we just kept ignoring it.

She wasn’t sure she wanted kids but I definitely did.

She never saw herself living on the island her whole life. I couldn’t ever see myself leaving.”

“Never?” she asked.

“I’m not the type that leaves the island.”

She nodded, and traced little divots in the sand at the end of the blanket. “When did you notice something was going on between the two of them?”

“That’s the funny thing, I didn’t for a long time.”

I told her about how it was our second year in business with the ferry and we were still doing overnight trips to the mainland.

Things were really busy. We were spread pretty thin.

One day I was supposed to be out on a run for the night and it got canceled last minute—some engine malfunction we couldn’t fix until the morning.

Tom kept ragging me that I wasn’t spending enough time with my best friend, always with her instead when I wasn’t out on the water.

So, I drove by his house to see if he wanted to catch up.

I felt guilty and wanted to make it up to him.

I saw her car in his driveway. I went up to the door to walk in but the curtain was barely open and I saw the two of them on the couch together.

“He was your best friend?” she asked.

“Since elementary school.”

“I’m so sorry.” Her eyebrows pulled together.

“I have no idea why but I walked right in.” It was so unlike me to confront them like that. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t knock or anything. I wanted them to know I saw them. That they got caught. I didn’t want any explanations for what I saw—no justifying or denying.

“He tried like hell to explain things but as far as I was concerned I didn’t need to hear a sob story about how he’d messed up and he was sorry, but he loved her and they were soulmates.”

“I don’t believe in soulmates. The idea just seems completely preposterous to me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“The idea there are millions of people in this world, and somehow there’s one specific person who perfectly fits with you, seems mathematically unrealistic.

And if you’re lucky, but only really lucky, and happen to be in the same town and place, oh and also even the right decade at the same time as they are, you find them.

It just seems a bit far-fetched. Like a cruel joke the universe is playing. ”

“Well, when you put it that way…” I wasn’t surprised at her lack of faith in the whole concept.

“Wait, you believe in the idea of soulmates?” she asked. “Even after what happened with Vanessa?”

“I guess I still have hope that maybe she just wasn’t the right one and I thought she was.” I’d seen examples of it in my lifetime through my grandparents and my parents. It was possible, even though it took me a while to circle back to that thinking.

“So what happened then? After you caught them?”

After it all went down, I remembered when people would ask me questions and I’d clam up. I’d get angry. I’d shut down. But talking to Sam felt different. She made it easy for me to open up.

“He got a job in Boston and they left.”

“And last night was the first time you’ve seen her since?” she asked.

“Not exactly.” She was staring at me obviously waiting for me to continue, but I was done wasting time talking about the disasters of my love life.

I wanted to know more about her, like why her last relationship didn’t work.

“What about you? Any tragic love stories to affirm your hopeless outlook on love?”

“Ha! Plenty. My last boyfriend lasted six months, and I don’t think he even knew my favorite color.”

“Isn’t that kind of a basic fact?”

“Exactly. And it’s green, in case you were wondering. But more of a dark green, like a forest green. Now you officially know more about me than he did.” She paused. I could tell she was considering whether to continue or not. “And, I think he may have had a few dalliances behind my back.”

“Dalliances?”

“ Fancy for he was an asshole. Apparently exclusive doesn’t mean the same thing it used to.”

“I don’t think it used to mean much anyway, for what it’s worth.”

She smiled. “Speaking of, the look on her face last night was priceless.”

“Oh, so you do remember something from last night?”

She blushed.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I puked everywhere.” She cradled her head in her hands, laughing.

“It’s okay you vomited. Vomit doesn’t bother me. Whether it’s vomit on the street, vomit on the driveway…”

“Ew! Stop it with that word!” she laughed.

“Vomit on my sheets…”

“Oh my gosh, I did not puke on your sheets, did I?” she asked horrified.

“Not a lot,” I answered. Making people laugh was not something I did. I wasn’t considered a funny guy, but every time I made her laugh, I felt this primal need to do it more. This beautiful sound sparkled when it reached her eyes. It made her whole face light up.

“I can’t imagine staying in the same hotel as Robby, let alone the same room. It’d be worthy of a twenty page HR report. But I promise, you won’t even know I’m there.”

I highly doubted that. My phone dinged again.

LEXI: SOS for Sam. It’s about her mom.

“Hey, have you heard from your mom?” I asked.

“No, why?” Her eyebrows creased at the quick change of topic.

“Lexi just texted me. She said to call her when you have a sec. It’s about Bonnie.”

She fished out her phone, looked at the screen, and a darkness swept across her face. She stood up and started to walk away.