Page 42 of As a Last Resort

SAMANTHA

Mary Kay curled back in her patio chair with a crisp white wine that had frosted the sides of the glass. “So, tell me about living in the city. Is it everything they say it is?”

We sat around the table in the backyard with empty plates and full bellies.

My anxiety almost made me cancel. I woke up to Austin gone already.

No note. No text. The last thing I remembered was the sound of the shower running.

Could I seriously have fallen asleep? It was a long day—the sun, the stuff with Robby, and the call with Glenn.

I hadn’t heard from Mom. But I left my door cracked.

I know I did. I’ve never stared at a door with so much anticipation in my life.

But when I woke up this morning it was closed.

There was no way I had the wrong impression, right? Did I step out of line? Was he not interested? Did I read the whole thing wrong?

I knew I had been a little short with him on the boat, but I thought we were on a whole other path after he got home, then, nothing.

I was nervous seeing Lexi’s family again after so long and adding Austin on top of it just complicated the night.

I was anxious about rewinding seven years and seeing people I barely knew anymore.

My stomach was in knots, but the moment Mary Kay opened the door as I walked up the driveway and ran to wrap her arms around me, I knew I made the right decision in coming.

My eyes pricked with small pools of water. I was swept back in time the moment she hugged me, and the familiar scent of lemon cleaner surrounded me.

“To answer your question, yes. And so much more. There are five-star restaurants around every corner. I sat next to Robert De Niro at a random coffee shop just last month. You can order takeout at any hour, on any day. There are always people moving about and there’s always something to do.

Theater, ballet, musicals, parks, art museums, concerts.

You name it, you can find it somewhere.”

Bill leaned forward at the head of the table. “The entertainment capital of the world, right?”

“I think that’s Vegas, Dad,” Lexi said.

“Same idea.”

“Seems like a lot of distractions to me.” Austin hadn’t spoken directly to me all night.

He’d barely made eye contact since he walked in late.

The worst-case scenario of me completely misreading our entire existence together morphed ten times over already in my mind.

Were we acting like we didn’t see each other?

Like I wasn’t staying with him? Maybe he could read my mind and he realized I’m an awful person keeping a huge secret from him and he hated me now.

Ugh, I had no idea.

“It can be if you’re not intentional about creating downtime.” I bumped my knee against his under the table but he wouldn’t look at me. He’d been withdrawn throughout dinner.

Mary Kay beamed at me. “Well, I always knew you were made for something bigger. Every time you and Alexandra would play store, by the time you two were done you’d have opened a pretend ice cream shop, bakery, and coffee shop and had a full pitch ready to go to the city council on a new playground proposal. ”

Lexi lit up. “We definitely still hold the record for lemonade stands in a single summer on the island.”

“You always had such an imaginative brain. They’re lucky to have you up there.

” Her words melted my insides. I hadn’t realized how much I missed affirmation from someone who actually knew me.

Not just the business workaholic side of me, but the me who had always loved to dream and build and play for fun.

“Pretty sure you two funded our entire VHS tape collection with the proceeds from those lemonade stands,” Bill said.

“I have Sam to thank for my obsession with Debbie Gibson.” Lexi turned to me. “Do you remember ‘Lost in Your Eyes’?”

“You mean, do I remember the best song of all time?” I dipped my head. “Maybe.”

She pushed her chair back and grabbed her wineglass as a microphone. “I get lost…” she sang.

“In your eyes…” I replied as I snatched mine and stood. Then we both sang at the top of our lungs. “And I feeeeeeeel my spirits rise and soar like the wind. Is it love that I am in?”

Then we looked at each other and paused. “I can’t remember the next line,” I whispered across the table.

“Neither can I.” We both fell back into our chairs laughing.

“Thank the Lord,” Bill added.

Austin leaned back in his chair, a smile desperately trying to burst across his face.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t act like you don’t remember the concerts we used to put on. They were too epic to be forgotten.”

“Pretty sure I was in my room playing Nintendo, although if that was a taste, it looks like I got the better end of the bargain.”

“Oh, don’t you play coy,” Mary Kay said. “I’m pretty sure I have some pictures stashed away of your musical debut somewhere too, Austin.”

“Now those I would pay money to see.” Lexi pranced over and topped off my wineglass again.

“Lexi, that’s enough,” Rex piped in laughing. “She hasn’t even finished that glass. We don’t need to turn Samantha into an alcoholic.”

The awkward silence that blanketed the table was excruciating. “What?” Rex continued. “Alexandra gets a little carried away with her hosting responsibilities is all I’m saying.”

Austin turned his eyes to me right away, roaming my face.

Mary Kay reached over and laid a hand on my arm. “I’m so sorry, he doesn’t—”

Lexi interrupted. “I didn’t give him the whole story, I didn’t think—”

“No, no, please, it’s okay,” I looked at Rex’s confused face. “My mom is actually an alcoholic.” His face turned beet red. “And, also partakes in other fun extracurricular substances sometimes too.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” His eyes desperately searched Lexi’s face for a lifeline.

“Seriously, it’s not a big deal, Rex. Please don’t feel bad. You wouldn’t have known.”

“How is your mom doing?” Bill asked. “Austin told me about Willow Rehabilitation. Best place she can be.”

“She’s doing good as far as I know from the staff updates. She hasn’t been able to make contact yet. I guess that helps acclimate their patients to the program without any distractions, but her counselor says she’s doing great.”

“I’m sure the moment she can reach out to you she will.

” Mary Kay squeezed my hand. Just her touch took some of the sting away, but I could feel the massive tidal wave of emotion creeping up my chest. The gentleness in her words cracked something open in me—something that had been quiet for a long time.

“Now, you kids go relax. Let Dad and I clean up for once. Enjoy the time you’ve got left with Samantha here. ” She winked at me as she stood.

Rex stood, gathered a handful of plates and headed inside through the patio door as Lexi followed. “I’m going to run in and check on him. I’m really sorry, I should have given him a heads-up.”

“It’s nothing. Please, tell him it’s seriously not a big deal.”

“I will. I’ll meet you two out there.” She motioned to the Adirondack chairs down by the water.

Austin stood up without a word and started toward the water’s edge. I followed him out and plopped down in one of the chairs next to him. The ocean slowly lapped up onto the shore, tumbling the rocks and stones smooth.

“Well, glad that wasn’t awkward.” My attempt to make him laugh failed.

He stayed silent as we watched the waves roll in for a few minutes.

I was starting to seriously doubt my interpretation of anything ever being between us.

Did I imagine everything? Was he mad that I fell asleep?

Did he consider himself lucky I fell asleep? My mind spiraled out of control.

“You worried about your mom?” he finally asked.

“No. Surprisingly.” I was thankful he was finally talking to me, even if it was about my mom. “I’m just glad she’s finally doing what I’ve asked her to do for years. It’s a huge step. But I’m not going to get my hopes up about it just yet.”

“Are you going to hang around until she gets back?”

“That could be over a month away. I’m not sure that’s in the cards for me.” The sun was just about to set over the horizon. “You guys really do have the best view of the entire island.”

“They don’t have this in the city, huh?” he asked.

“Not like this, they don’t.”

“Are you going to miss it here?” he asked. There was an edge in his voice and he hadn’t looked me in the eyes since we sat down.

“I’m not leaving yet.”

“You’re not here for that much longer.” There was a sharpness to his words. Could he still be mad at me pressing about the fishing charter stuff? Maybe that was still bothering him.

“Listen, I’m sorry I pushed so hard yesterday on the boat, about the whole job thing. It’s really none of my business.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“No, it is. I shouldn’t have been so pushy. It’s your business. Obviously, you know what’s best, not some random person barging in with yet another opinion on how to run your life.”

“You don’t owe me anything, we were just making conversation.” His words felt cold. He stood abruptly. “I’m going to grab some water, you want anything?”

“Lexi said she was bringing some out.”

“Okay.” He stayed standing, gazing out over the water like he was waiting on some long-lost boat to peek over the horizon.

“What’s going on with you?” I asked. “Did I do something to upset you?”

“No, nothing. Just trying to enjoy the slow pace of life down here.” He finally looked at me, and quickly walked by my chair back to the house just as Lexi came out. He didn’t even look at her as he stomped by.

“Do I want to know what just happened?” she asked as she walked up.

“I have no idea, don’t ask me. How’s Rex?”

“Kicking himself. He’ll probably still show up at your place tomorrow with flowers even though I told him it wasn’t necessary.”

“He seems like a good guy.”

“He is.” She plopped down into the chair next to me. She had the puppy-dog-in-love look glazed across her face.