Page 23 of As a Last Resort

SAMANTHA

IVY: so did u kiss him

ME: He was incapacitated on my floor.

Highly inappropriate.

IVY: just asking if you took advantage of the situation

ME: It’s not like that

IVY: ok

ME: It’s not.

He’s my friend’s older brother

IVY: that matters in high school for some people age is just a number

ME: That’s what old people say when they want to seem young.

IVY: also true

ME: Any word from Glenn or Robby?

IVY: nothing

ME: Maybe they’re conspiring on all the ways to fire me without legal retribution.

IVY: maybe

or maybe they’re getting matching tattoos on their lower backs

Me: Maybe.