Page 55 of As a Last Resort

Dr. Joseph gave a small nod. “Thank you for sharing that. Sometimes we’re able to redefine a physical space into something different if we’re willing to look at why it’s not a safe space for us to begin with.

By acknowledging and accepting what originally caused that feeling for you, sometimes that in and of itself can redefine it. ”

“I won’t pressure you to come visit anymore. But know I’d always love to see you. And you don’t have to stay with me. You could stay with Lexi. Or at the Starfish. Wherever you want. No pressure.”

“If it’s alright with you, I’m actually going to stay at the house the next couple days. It’s Lexi’s wedding weekend and the rehearsal dinner is tonight at the Marcs’ house out on the water.”

“Gosh, I feel like I’ve been out of the loop for so long. Josie sent me an email updating me on all the wedding weekend festivities. That poor Lexi and all her brother’s drama right before her wedding. She’ll be happy you’re going.”

My heart froze.

Austin .

“What drama?” Had she somehow heard about us?

“Bonnie.” Dr. Joseph gave her a narrowed eye and Mom sat up straighter.

“It was only through email, and just this morning. No cheating, I promise. I haven’t spoken to anyone.

” She looked at me and saw I was still worried.

“Oh, honey, Lexi’s fine. It’s just that woman he was seeing forever ago.

The nerve, coming all the way back here after so many years.

You’d think he would have smartened up by now. ”

The room started to fuzz at the edges. “Vanessa?”

“Yes! That’s her. Knowing that girl’s family, it doesn’t surprise me. She swings back and forth between men like it’s an Olympic sport.”

“Let’s focus on what’s in front of us, Bonnie. On what we can do today.”

“Right, good advice. Speaking of…” My mother stood up, brushed off her jeans and tucked her hair behind her ears, completely clueless she had just shoved a lance through my soul.

“I have a hitting lesson at two on the tennis courts. I’m completely awful at it but the outfits are cute, so there’s that. ”

The only extracurricular activity I knew my mom to do was barhopping. And now I could add shattering my world and tennis to that list.

“Thank you for giving me today, Samantha.” She pulled me into a hug. “And don’t worry about Lexi. She has you to lean on again and I know that means the world to her.”

She walked out and I stood in a daze. That couldn’t be right.

There’s no way Vanessa would come back. But even if hell froze over and she did, there’s no way he’d take her back.

You don’t just run off with your fiancé’s best friend, marry him, then change your mind years later and get welcomed back with open arms, right?

As I walked out of the facility, the pit in my stomach grew heavier. They had spent years together. We had spent weeks together. At one point, he had built his entire world around her and envisioned having kids. A house. A life . All with her.

But I knew how gossip was on the island. And I knew how my mom could blow things out of proportion. With her, it was like the telephone game with a firework finale; everything explodes by the end.

I was tired of letting elephants in the room squeeze me into the wall until I couldn’t breathe. It was time to stop fleeing.

The moment I turned onto Austin’s street I saw it. The bright red sports car was parked in his driveway like a flashing neon sign against all the little cottages. Leave it up to Vanessa to have an obnoxiously loud and irritating car that you just wanted to throw a rock at.

But maybe it wasn’t hers. Maybe he had a new friend over. Maybe Rex bought Lexi a new car. Or maybe he had a toilet leak and the plumber happened to be a car fanatic.

I slowed the car down just before his house. The big picture window in the front of his house had the curtains pulled, but there was a little sliver of light popping through on one side. I couldn’t see anything from the car. I’d have to get out to get a closer look.

If he saw me, it’d just look like I’m walking to the front door. I just needed a tiny peek to see if it was her or the plumber. Easy fix.

I pulled my car a house down just in case, and my feet carried me up the shell driveway until I could see the kitchen counter through the window. There was one barstool nestled underneath, and a pair of fair ivory legs, wrapped around the metal legs of the other.

My eyes wandered up. She looked more like a porcelain doll, one that would break if you shook her hand too hard.

Her lips were a deep red, and against her ivory skin and long black hair, she looked like a version of Snow White if she didn’t have all those dwarfs to take care of and got a boob job instead.

She was glowing.

And she was smiling.

And he was laughing. I heard it. I couldn’t see him, but I knew that laugh.

That was the laugh he gave when he was embarrassed.

The one that started small like a chuckle then rumbled deeper in his chest. It was the laugh he gave me when I sat up on my knees in bed and lifted my arms above my head, waiting for him to make the first move.

She cackled and threw her head back. He leaned onto the counter and I caught a glimpse of his face.

His head cocked to the side with a small smile creeping across it.

It felt like watching a movie. A movie where you yelled at the screen, because the hero was about to kiss the girl who killed his mother, or kicked his dog, or cheated on him with his best friend and he didn’t know.

A scene where two people who knew each other so intimately barely looked at each other and all their clothes just fell to the ground.

I stepped back. I was going to throw up.

It couldn’t be happening, but it was. She finally came to her senses and of course he would give her another chance.

There was a time his entire life revolved around her existence.

She had been his fiancée at one point, for heaven’s sake.

They had spent almost a decade together.

It didn’t matter that she had cheated on him. Or run off.

He had planned his entire life with her, and she had finally come home.

“Who are we creeping on?” I jumped at the voice from behind me.

“Mr. Crenshaw!” I whispered, swiftly backing up. “I was just leaving.”

“Anything good going on?” he asked, trying to peek around me through the curtain.

“Umm, I don’t know. I was just dropping something off. I’m done now.” I turned and beelined it for my car.

“I’ve got something I want to show you,” he whispered after me, hot on my tail.

“No! Definitely not.” I ran down the driveway and to my car.

I looked in my rearview mirror at Mr. Crenshaw, and a bright red sports car responsible for the knife through my heart.

I had missed my chance.