Page 19 of Anxious Hearts

Chapter Eighteen

The Care for our Kids Appeal telethon was an annual event held on Good Friday to raise money for the Victorian Children’s Hospital.

It was a cavalcade of every single person who had ever said a line on Australian television.

They sang, joked, roused and laughed their way through the day under the blinding studio lights that were now shining in Kelly’s eyes.

She longed for the relative calm of an emergency ward where no-one worried about whether her forehead was too shiny for the camera or which side of the host she should stand on.

Thankfully, Finn was there with her. She’d seen him on set a few times over the years and always marvelled at how he morphed into a person she almost didn’t recognise when the cameras were rolling – a person of confidence, strength, security.

A person who wasn’t crippled by anxiety, fear and weakness.

Even when he wasn’t playing a character, like today, he still managed to own the room around him.

‘How come you never get nervous with all these people staring at you?’ she asked as they stood precisely where they had been instructed while they waited for a commercial break to end.

Finn looked down at her. ‘You know why. I get to be somebody else.’

‘But you’re not acting now.’

‘I’m acting every minute just to stay alive.’

If anyone else had said that, it might have made Kelly smile, but she knew that it wasn’t a joke for Finn.

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.

Finn squeezed hers back.

A lady with curly hair, a headset and a clipboard was positioned just behind the camera that was aimed at Kelly and Finn.

She was the one who had bossed Kelly around from the moment she came out of makeup, including giving precise instructions on where Kelly needed to stand.

Kelly tried to remember her name. Melinda, perhaps? Melanie?

Melinda/Melanie looked excitedly at the host and flicked her head towards Kelly and Finn. She then made eye contact with the cameraman, who gave her a conspiratorial nod.

Finn must have seen it too, because he let go of Kelly’s hand. ‘Don’t be nervous, Kel. You’ll do great,’ he said.

But she could see the slight strain in his smile. Had she done something wrong? Had she caused trouble for him? This was Finn’s world, not hers, and she didn’t know the rules.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

But before Finn could answer, the host, Gerry Carpenter, burst into her field of vision, all blond hair and white teeth and absolute corniness.

He was like a cheese stick in a suit, so processed and bland you didn’t believe there were any natural ingredients inside.

He hosted one of the morning shows, so Kelly had seen his face on the monitors in waiting rooms and hospital beds, but she knew nothing else about the man.

‘Gerry Carpenter,’ he said as he shook their hands one after the other. ‘Lovely to meet you both. We’ll be live in ten seconds. Good luck.’

Kelly swallowed hard.

Somebody started counting backwards from ten.

She took a deep breath.

Gerry ran his tongue across his lips and smacked them back and forth, making a noise that was so infuriating, Kelly feared she might knock him out on live TV.

Finn stood as still as a lifeless god.

The countdown hit zero. The lights changed, the crew was silent and the only sound came from the celebrities answering phone calls a few metres behind them. Then Gerry began.

‘Welcome back to the Victorian Children’s Hospital Care for our Kids Appeal. Remember, it’s your generosity that helps us save lives and create futures together.’

Gerry was standing about a metre away from Kelly and Finn, but they might as well have been visible only by the Hubble Telescope, given how little attention he paid them.

Kelly stood frozen, her face disfigured by a terrified rictus.

‘Stop smiling so hard,’ Finn whispered. ‘You’ll scare off the donors.’

Gerry continued his monologue. ‘Joining us in the studio now are two absolute superstars.’

Kelly glanced at him. What was he talking about? Was there another celebrity coming?

Gerry dropped a shoulder towards the camera and raised his eyebrows.

‘But one of them isn’t a television superstar, she’s a superstar in the children’s hospital.

’ He straightened up, sidled over to Kelly and addressed her directly.

‘Dr Kelly O’Mara, I understand you work in the emergency ward, is that right? ’

‘Yes, that’s right, Gerry. I’m a Registrar at the Children’s, in training to be a paediatrician.’ Kelly could hear herself speaking. She was pleasantly surprised by how polite and articulate she sounded.

‘And what does that mean in English?’

‘It means I look after sick kids.’

Gerry gave her a showbiz smile. ‘Tell us about one of the kids you’ve looked after.’

They’d prepped her for his. Even had something called B-roll, which she learned was footage of her and Imogen, the little girl she was authorised to discuss.

The segment was completely rehearsed and had taken up valuable hours during the week that would have been better spent preparing for her clinical exam.

But Kelly was glad of it now because she was able to recite her script without stumbling while the footage played on the monitor at their feet.

‘Imogen came in with shortness of breath but no other clear symptoms. We couldn’t find anything through regular testing, so we decided to run a specialised test called a CT angiogram.

Through that test we found a dissecting aneurysm and rushed her straight to surgery.

If she hadn’t gone into theatre, she probably wouldn’t have made it through the following twelve hours. ’

Gerry assumed his sombre face. ‘She would have died?’

Kelly flinched at his directness. Doctors were trained to be more tactful. And this question hadn’t been included in her preparation. But this was live television. ‘Yes,’ Kelly said simply.

‘And whose idea was it to run those tests?’ he asked, although he already clearly knew the answer.

Kelly hesitated. This was another unrehearsed question. ‘Well, ultimately, it was the consultant who was on duty that night. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to name him.’

Gerry waved her response away. ‘Oh, no need for that. Modest, brilliant and beautiful. What a combination.’

Wait, what? Beautiful? What the hell was that?

Gerry walked in front of Kelly and gave her a wink away from the camera. He stood next to Finn. ‘No wonder she’s caught you in her net, Finn Walsh,’ Gerry said and laughed.

Finn laughed along with him but there was no humour in his eyes or his smile.

‘Now you need no introduction, Finn. Star of Henderson Springs , the man every single woman wants to marry and the man every mother wants her daughter to bring home. Tell us, how long have you and Kelly been an item?’

Finn chuckled awkwardly. ‘Oh, no, we’re not together. We’re just old friends.’

‘Right,’ Gerry said. He turned away from Finn and looked down the barrel of the camera. ‘Just old friends.’ As he spoke, he tapped the side of his nose with one finger. He drew back from the camera and stood beside Finn again. ‘Just old friends who hold hands before they go on live TV.’

The monitors played recorded footage from only moments earlier, when Kelly had reached out and taken hold of Finn’s hand. It zoomed in at the moment she’d squeezed it and he squeezed back. It was so achingly intimate that Kelly felt her skin burn at the violation.

Finn laughed it off. ‘I should know by now that the cameras are always rolling, Gerry.’

‘They never stop!’ Gerry yelled, as though this was the greatest blessing life could offer.

He pushed his finger into his ear and fell silent for a moment.

Then he held his other finger up. ‘I’m hearing from our producer,’ he said to nobody in particular, ‘that we have a caller on the line who says she’ll give one thousand dollars if you two kiss. What do you say to that?’

Kelly’s muscles drew taut in a powerhouse of outrage and defiance.

This was a telethon to raise money for a hospital that treated dying kids; she was one of the doctors who treated those dying kids.

Wasn’t it enough that she’d spent six years at university and three more after that studying and working?

Wasn’t it enough that she was unparalleled in her clinical skills or that she’d given up all hope of a social life or committed relationship?

Not enough that she was completely out of touch with what it meant to be a young woman in her twenties?

This caller wouldn’t just give the money to the hospital because Kelly was who she was, had achieved what she had.

No, Kelly had to kiss Finn to be provide entertainment . To be worth it .

But every sacrifice, every missed party, every date she turned down had been worth it. All of it. Because she was Dr Kelly O’Mara, and she was going to be the best paediatrician this hospital had ever seen.

Finn was shaking his head. For the first time, he looked like he wasn’t in complete control. ‘We’re not going to do that, Gerry.’

Gerry feigned incredulity. ‘Not for a thousand dollars? For the kids!’

‘I’m sure the caller will still give the money.’

Gerry did his earpiece routine again but this time he stood up straight and shook his head mournfully. ‘We’ve had fifteen other callers say they’ll match the offer if you two kiss. That’s sixteen thousand dollars to save sick kids.’

It was a lot of money and Kelly knew where it could be used. The extra equipment it could buy. But Finn gave her a sideways glance and shook his head so gently, only she would have noticed. She nodded just as imperceptibly and slowed her blink by half.

He understood.

They turned towards each other.

Gerry stood between them as though he was about to cut a ribbon. ‘Here we go, everyone, the sixteen thousand dollar kiss!’

Kelly stared up at Finn. It was okay. Finn was safe. Finn was her friend.

Finn had kissed her before.

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