Page 30 of A Montana Secret Admirer (Sagebrush Ranch Sweethearts #4)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Two weeks came and went faster than the first week that Serenity had been at the ranch at the beginning of the summer.

Reese couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that had taken up residence in the pit of his stomach as he went about his daily routines.

He couldn’t get it to dissipate even as he prepared to leave.

No matter how off this whole thing felt, there was one universal truth.

Serenity hadn’t asked him to stay. And she had insisted they couldn’t try long distance.

He’d wanted to promise her that they could make that work.

Technology had made so many strides since they were children that it was easier than ever to keep something going.

It wasn’t like they couldn’t see each other through video chat.

And yet, he didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on her. He didn’t want her to feel like she owed him anything.

The worst part? His heart belonged to her. She’d captured it from the moment they’d met, and she hadn’t released it—not that he would have accepted it back had she tried giving it.

He sighed, dragging a hand down his face as he dealt with the anguish that was becoming the norm these days. He’d be leaving in less than twenty-four hours, and it felt like he was going to lose everything if he did.

What was he supposed to do when the girl of his dreams already had plans to return to the life she’d led before this summer?

“Nervous?”

He jumped and turned around to find Jane standing behind him as he worked at removing the saddle from his horse. “About what?”

“The training course.”

Reese turned back to the saddle and lifted it. “It’s just like school, right? I go, I learn, I take notes… what’s there to be nervous about?”

The silence that hung in the air between them was deafening.

She didn’t have to utter a single sound for him to know what she was getting at.

This was Jane—the woman who had figured out he was interested in her sister before he had a chance to deny it.

Was he nervous about leaving Serenity behind only to return and find out that she’d moved on with someone else?

Absolutely, he was.

He’d told Serenity they would keep in touch with calls and messaging, but she had only agreed half-heartedly, which could only mean one thing. She wasn’t as interested in him as he was in her.

Jane cleared her throat. “It’s going to be okay, you know.”

He scoffed. “What would you say if I told you that I don’t want to go anymore?”

“I’d call you a liar.”

Reese scowled as he deposited the saddle on a stand. “Oh? And you know me so well?”

She shrugged when he glanced in her direction. “I know you well enough to know that this has been a passion of yours for a while.”

He scoffed again. “You don’t know me well at all.”

Jane arched a brow. “I was in every one of those meetings you and Leo had with Kat. I know what you want to do with your life, and this is a big part of it.”

“And yet I can guarantee that I’d be just as happy staying here and—” He cut himself off before he could confess that all he really wanted was to beg for Serenity to stay.

He’d drop to his knees if he had to. She had somehow become his reason for living, and walking away from her was already destroying him.

In fact, he’d attempted to have a conversation like that with her about two days ago.

She’d cut him off and pushed him away, telling him that they were making the right decisions for themselves and their families.

Bo and Jane needed him to take on this program to make the therapy services shine.

She needed to figure things out with Tegan.

And he hadn’t been able to come up with a reasonable argument to her statement.

Each passing day, she’d gone against what she’d promised him. They weren’t making the best of the time they had with each other. She was pushing him away, further and further until he couldn’t breathe.

The worst part?

She looked about as miserable as he felt.

And for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why. The words that came from her mouth were the opposite of her behavior.

He turned to Jane, the question he’d been desperate to ask slipping from his tongue before he had a chance to rein it in. “Is she happy?”

Jane arched a brow. “Who?”

“You know darn well who,” he snapped. “Is Serenity happy? Because it sure doesn’t seem like it. She keeps saying that she’s making decisions that are going to make her happy, but even you have to admit she seems more of a shell of herself than she was when she first came out to visit.”

Jane’s lips pressed thinly together. There couldn’t have been a more obvious sign that she was holding something back. Of course, Serenity confided in her. And there was no way that she would share what Serenity had told her in confidence.

“It’s not just Serenity,” Reese tried again. “Something is going on with her, but with her boys, too.”

“Her boys are her responsibility, Reese,” Jane said flatly.

“Yeah, I get that,” Reese muttered. “But something is going on, and no one is talking to me.”

“Maybe because it’s none of your business.

” The words could have been spewed with irritation, but they were actually spoken softer, with empathy—like Jane didn’t want to keep whatever it was from him.

Her eyes told the truth. As much as she might want to share what she knew, she wouldn’t be budging an inch.

Reese scratched his cheek. “How am I supposed to help if I don’t know what’s going on?”

“You can’t.”

He groaned. “Jane?—”

“ Reese . You’re going to be leaving tomorrow.

The best thing you can do right now is make sure you all your ‘I’s are dotted and your ‘t’s are crossed.

You’re doing this for the charity and for yourself.

Don’t allow yourself to become distracted.

I don’t want you to walk away from something that’s important to you.

Neither does Serenity. She would never forgive herself if you ended up unhappy after all was said and done. ”

This time, he scowled at her. There was no chance in that happening.

He would never resent her for wanting him to stay for her.

But he couldn’t exactly tell that to Jane.

Not only was she Serenity’s sister, she was technically a boss of sorts.

What would she think if he told her he was willing to risk his career for a woman?

Whatever she would think, it wouldn’t be good.

He sighed, resigned to being left on the outside. It was as if the training program finally working out was all it took for him to be dropped. If Serenity was so willing to let go of him, then he had to ask himself if what they had was actually as real as he’d thought it was.

Jane waved a hand in front of his face, drawing his attention. “Don’t worry about it too much, Reese. You’re going to make such a difference with the training you’re going to get. And when you get back? Maybe you can revisit your relationship with Serenity.”

It took a great deal of effort to keep his mouth shut. She knew how he felt about Serenity, and the fact that she brought it up made it even clearer that he was part of the reasons for Serenity’s poor mood.

She left to find Leo, leaving Reese with more unease than he’d started with. He completed his work in a sort of daze, and when he left the barn, he nearly bumped into Tegan.

The boy looked up at him, startled, but that surprise quickly shifted to disdain. He scowled and attempted to move past him to enter the barn. Reese didn’t know what Tegan was up to, but it didn’t matter. After he’d caught Reese kissing his mother, Tegan had refused to speak a single word to Reese.

Turning on his heel, Reese followed the boy into the barn. “Hey, bud. Can we talk?”

True to Tegan fashion, he kept his lips sealed tight. He continued toward the stall that housed the horse he preferred to ride.

“Tegan, I think it would be good for us if we could?—”

“I don’t want to talk,” Tegan muttered.

Reese blew out a breath to maintain patience he didn’t have at the moment. “I get that, but the fact is, we have some stuff we should figure out.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Tegan repeated.

“Okay, how about I talk?”

His scowl deepened.

“I really care about your mom, Tegan.” Reese craned his head around so he could get a look at Tegan’s expression and wasn’t surprised to see that the kid’s features remained tight. “Right now, things are a little up in the air, but I want you to know that nothing has changed for me.”

This time, the kid huffed. “You’re leaving.”

“Yes,” Reese hedged, “I am. But I will be back, and if your mom still…” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

At this point, he wasn’t even sure how Serenity felt for him.

All he could go off of was that kiss they’d shared, and right now, he wasn’t even sure if he’d imagined the passion that she’d given him when her lips had met his.

“Your mother doesn’t want to try to keep a relationship going long distance, and I’m going to respect her wishes by giving her space.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about her.

Quite the opposite. I’m going to still be here for her, no matter what.

No matter where I’m living. She makes me happy. ”

“She’s not going to marry you,” Tegan snapped. It was such a surprising statement that Reese had to lean against the nearby stall. What was he supposed to say to that? Had she said something to him? Made assurances?

Tegan’s words were like a sucker-punch to the gut. Reese couldn’t even bring himself to ask Tegan to clarify why he’d say such a thing. And to confront Serenity? That wasn’t going to happen, no matter how much he wanted to. She’d made her decision.

And he’d made his.

He closed his eyes briefly and centered himself with another sigh.

“Maybe not. But if one day she decided she cared for me enough, then I would move heaven and earth to give her everything she could ever want. I love your mother, Tegan.” One day, he hoped he’d be able to win her over.

Their timeline simply wasn’t matching up right now.

They were two ships passing in the night.

Tegan didn’t respond to him. He turned his back and focused on the horse he’d come to visit. In the next couple of days, they’d be moving out of Noah’s house. Tegan would be starting school, and Serenity would likely move on from the fling they’d shared this summer.

Jane was right.

The world would keep spinning, and there was nothing Reese could do to change any of it.