Page 24 of A Montana Secret Admirer (Sagebrush Ranch Sweethearts #4)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“You want to know what I don’t get?”

Reese shot a look over his shoulder to where Leo was collecting the rope they’d used to lasso a wandering calf.

Thankfully, leading it back to its mother and the rest of the herd hadn’t been too complicated.

Today was a short move, mostly because they’d heard a storm was coming in, and they wanted the cattle closer. He grunted when Leo didn’t continue.

“What I don’t get,” Leo drawled, stepping closer, “is why you haven’t officially told anyone about you and Serenity.”

Reese stiffened. It wasn’t that he was surprised.

His brother could be attentive when he wanted to be.

And Reese hadn’t exactly hidden his attraction to Serenity.

But he hadn’t thought that folks would assume they were an item.

Not this quickly, and not without them openly holding hands.

Two dates didn’t mean they were an item.

Even if people were paying attention to the times they’d gone off on their own…

He shook his head more out of resignation than anything else.

“Don’t bother denying it. The amount of time you spend with her is probably more than any other married couple. Between the dates, the kids’ lessons, and the sunsets?—”

Reese’s head snapped up, and he stared openly at his brother. Now he was surprised.

Leo chuckled. “What? Did you think that Mom and I hadn’t noticed when you consistently started sneaking out around that time every day?”

“Mom knows?” he asked weakly.

“Of course Mom knows. She was the one who pointed most of it out. She only told me because she didn’t think you’d be receptive to her after you asked about Dad.

Whatever that means.” Leo muttered the last bit to himself.

“Anyway, this has been going on for a couple of weeks now, and you haven’t said anything—done anything—to let people know she’s yours. ”

Mine .

He liked the sound of that. To claim Serenity as his own would be one of the best accomplishments he might have been able to claim. He wanted nothing more than to ask her to be his.

Was it too soon?

Not for him.

But he knew better than to voice such an idea aloud. It was as if doing so would ensure that it would end. He scrubbed at his jaw with his free hand. “It’s… complicated.”

Leo scoffed. “Complicated is when a woman you can’t stand looks at you with eyes you could drown in.”

Reese froze then slowly turned his head toward his brother. “You’re not talking about Kat, are you?”

“What?” Leo snapped, coming out of the brain fog he seemed to have found himself in.

“No. Of course not. That woman—” He cut himself off.

“Not worth the headache,” he finally said after a few moments.

“I can’t wait until we’re done with this whole project and she no longer gets to dictate my schedule. ”

Lifting a single brow, Reese bit back a smile. He also knew better than to poke the bear, and Leo discussing Kat would do just that. Still, based on the way he was bringing up the woman in everyday conversation, Reese couldn’t help but wonder if there was something deeper taking place between them.

“So…” Leo sighed. “Complicated? What is that supposed to mean?”

They were heading back to their horses, their boots chuffing in the moderately tall grass.

The cattle around them didn’t seem to be interested in them anymore, now that they were happily grazing.

They could see the barn in the distance from where they were, and it wouldn’t take much time for them to return.

If Reese could have avoided that question until they were just a little closer, he might have been able to save himself the grief of trying to explain what was going on.

But Leo wasn’t going to let that happen—clearly.

Reese rubbed the back of his neck and heaved out a sigh. “It’s… her kids.”

“Don’t they love you?”

Reese couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face despite feeling like they were stuck in a standstill when it came to those boys. “Well, the younger one does. Jessi? I swear, some days he looks at me like I’m the sun and moon themselves.”

“And the older one?”

Grimacing, Reese shoved his boot into the stirrup and climbed into the saddle. “That one is trickier.”

“How so? They’re both just kids.”

Reese chuckled. His brother had no idea just how wrong he was.

Tegan was far more observant than anyone gave him credit for.

He had this knack of being able to see things before even the adults around him—at least when it came to his mother.

Reese wouldn’t have been surprised if it came out that he’d been spying on his mother while she watched the sunset and inadvertently saw them kissing.

Completely possible.

“Reese,” Leo said loudly, as if he’d already said it. “You’re not going to let some kid stop you from being happy, are you?”

This time, Reese scowled at his brother. “I don’t like the point your trying to make. It’s really not that simple. This is a package deal. Serenity and the kids come together and I like it that way. They deserves to be happy, just like their mother.”

“So do you.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Yes, it is,” Leo argued. “The kid lost his dad. We did, too. It sucks. But that’s life.

As much as we might want to think so, we can’t control our lives any more than we can control the sun rising in the morning.

One way or another, that kid will lose everyone he cares for.

All we can do is hope that it happens when he’s grey and old. ”

“That’s morbid,” Reese muttered.

“You know it’s true. Whatever is making you hold back, maybe you should cut yourself some slack. Kids are resilient. He’ll come around.”

“Or he’ll hate me forever for taking his mother from him.”

Leo scoffed.

They were both quiet as their horses plodded along the trail. When Reese didn’t say anything, Leo made it clear where his head was at.

“You’re not taking anything from that kid. Seriously, he’d be lucky to have a dad like you.”

“But that’s just it, isn’t it? I’m not his dad. And at this point, I wouldn’t want him to think I was replacing him, either. The kid is still young. What do you remember of your childhood, hmm? Can you honestly say you remember anything about being seven?”

“I broke my arm when I fell off my bike,” Leo offered.

“That’s because it was a traumatic experience.”

“And losing a parent isn’t? Seriously, Reese. Don’t hold back because some kid might not like you for a while. Do what makes you happy—what makes her happy. Everything will fall into place later.” He smirked. “Besides, it’s not like the kid is a teenager who could do anything.”

“Have you already forgotten all those movies where the kid outsmarts the adults? I can name five off the top of my head.”

Leo’s smirk didn’t leave his face for a few minutes. And when it did, his voice had softened. “It’s admirable that you are worried about him. But really think about your reasons for waiting. The kid could use someone to push him. We don’t grow without a little bit of discomfort.”

“Is that why you’re dragging your feet with Jane’s project?”

His brother rolled his eyes. “That’s different, and you know it.”

“Maybe I don’t. From what I can tell, Kat makes you all kinds of uncomfortable.” He didn’t get to finish off his statement before Leo dug his boots into his horse’s sides and took off. Reese chuckled, doing the same. Leo would win the race. He had a decent jump start, and they were already close.

Maybe he’d been right. Maybe what Tegan needed was an adult to tell him the way things were going to go without treating him like he was breakable.

But how would Serenity feel about that? Would she agree?

Or would she insist on shielding her son from the reality that she was finally allowing herself to move on?

Did it make him a bad person for hating that idea?

Selfish, even?

Reese hated to even think about the possibility that Serenity would forfeit anything she might have found with him if she thought it would hurt her kids.

He might not understand completely what she was going through because he didn’t have children of his own, but he could understand in theory, and it made him sick to his stomach to want her to choose him.

By the time he caught up with Leo, his brother was already removing the saddle from his horse.

They didn’t bring up Serenity or Kat or the kids.

It was for the best. If they had, Reese got the feeling that Leo would tell him it wasn’t worth it to go chasing a woman who clearly wasn’t ready for something serious.

And that truth alone terrified Reese more than he would ever want to admit.

Reese was on the front porch of Noah’s place before Serenity came out to join him. He heard the storm door creak open then pause before it shut, and Serenity’s footsteps approached. She settled onto the step beside him and let out a sigh.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She looked frazzled.

And absolutely beautiful.

“You okay?” he murmured, his own worries floating to the surface.

She nodded, not looking at him.

“Really? Because you look like you’ve been through it.”

A small smile tugged at her lips. It was a tired one—and one that showed just how much strain she was under. The summer was coming to an end in a few weeks. They were running out of time, and the only thing he wanted to talk to her about was what their plans would be for the future.

But he couldn’t. Not when she was clearly struggling with something. That would be selfish.

Right?

Of course it would. Serenity needed someone in her corner—someone who would do whatever it took to make sure she was cared for and that her needs were met before their own.

He could be that person. He just needed her to tell him what she wanted.

Serenity blew out a breath, closed her eyes, and rested her cheek against his shoulder. “Just…”

The silence that hung in the air after that one word made a cold weight settle in his chest.

“Hey,” he said, taking her hand and lacing her fingers with his own. “You know you can talk to me, right? That’s what I’m here for, after all.” Part of him was wondering if he’d said it to convince himself more than anything else. That flicker of selfish desire was really getting to him.

He’d seen the look his brother gave him.

Leo might have been supportive, but there was no denying that he was concerned.

Serenity didn’t have anything holding her here.

She hadn’t told anyone about their relationship, for heaven’s sake.

Why would she decide to do anything like uproot her children’s lives just for him?

He cleared his throat and squeezed her hand.

Faith. That was what he needed right now. He had to have faith that Serenity wanted him as much as he did her.

She gave him a soft smile and nodded. “I know.”

Still, more silence. It was eating at him. Reese couldn’t help her if she wasn’t willing to talk to him. Did he have the courage to point that out?

Inwardly, he grimaced.

Not in those terms. He’d already told her that he was there for her.

What more could be said? This seemed like a moment when a little note and a flower would go a long way.

For some reason, Reese couldn’t find the words to speak to her the way he wanted to when he was with her.

Hiding behind a note was so much easier.

Their eyes met once more, and he drew in a deep breath as if it would be enough to settle his own racing heart.

“You want to talk about it?”

Serenity shrugged.

“I’m not going to judge…”

She let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I know, Reese. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

She certainly didn’t look it.

Reese opened his mouth, then he snapped it shut. He stared out at the sun setting over the horizon, and that crushing weight continued to suffocate him. He hated this feeling—this distance that was being created.

He needed to try another tactic. “The summer is coming to an end.”

Serenity didn’t even react to his statement. No tensing. No smiles. Nothing to indicate that she had any plans set up.

Reese couldn’t tell if he should be upset or relieved over that fact. Maybe this was all the proof he needed that he was officially obsessing over her.

Breathe.

Take a step back and accept that this is still new. Serenity will tell you if she needs anything.

Don’t. Scare. Her. Off.

Reese gave a sharp nod to himself and squeezed her hand again. He rested his cheek atop her head, and she let out a sigh.

“I like this,” she murmured.

He didn’t have to look to know that there would be a small smile teasing her lips.

“Being here like this,” she continued.

Before he could utter a grunt in agreement, she continued, but softer this time.

“With you.”

Heat exploded in his chest. His brother’s worries weren’t necessary. They were fine. This was… fine .

“I like being here… with you… too.”

They sat like that for several minutes until the air chilled and the sky darkened. The stars appeared like specks of glitter one at a time, then all at once. They might have less than a month of summer left, but he wasn’t going to squander it. He’d take full advantage of the time he got with her.

Besides, if he had to bet, he’d say that Serenity would bring up her plans in her own time when she was ready. She was a private person, after all. Anything that would include him—well, she’d tell him.