Page 26 of A Montana Secret Admirer (Sagebrush Ranch Sweethearts #4)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Whenever there was movement near the houses across the property, Reese looked in that direction. Serenity had missed their sunset. After the day she’d had, he wanted to say he understood where she was coming from.

But it only made him more frustrated.

She was closing him out. Not only that, but she was pushing away her sister, too.

What did she think was going to happen when she had a tough day? That she’d be left to her own devices?

Fat chance!

He had been honest when he’d told her that he was willing to listen and let her vent. But he’d thought that meant she’d tell him exactly what had happened. At least then, he could have talked to Jane about it.

Reese pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. That was the exact reason she’d told him she didn’t want to stick around. She didn’t want him to be a fixer.

He ground his jaw tight at the memory of the last words she’d said to him. What worth was he if they weren’t able to be partners in their relationship?

“Reese?”

His head snapped up so hard that a sharp pain shot through his neck. Serenity stood before him, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes were clear. There was some puffiness around them that made it clear she didn’t get an entirely restful night.

But for all intents and purposes, she did look better.

He took a step toward her, and she closed the distance. Before he could say a word, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into the hollow between his jaw and his chest. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbled into his skin.

Slowly, his arms came around her. He’d been prepared to tell her that they needed to have an open dialogue.

He’d wanted to tell her that whether she liked it or not, he needed to feel wanted and valued.

There had been a whole lot going through his head based on the way she’d reacted to him the other day.

But all of that fizzled out.

It really must have just been a bad day.

Reese could accept that. It was understandable.

“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to pry.”

She let out a sad sounding laugh. Then she sniffled. “We make quite a pair, don’t we?”

“The perfect pair.”

“Hey, Reese! Glad I caught you.” Bo jogged toward him with a wide smile on his face.

Reese grinned back for no other reason than the anticipation of what Bo might say. After the quiet morning he’d spent with Serenity, the day was definitely looking up. He felt he could take on the world if given the chance.

“You’re never going to believe what happened. I asked Caleb to pull some strings because he knew someone involved in that training program you had your eye on!”

“You’re kidding!”

“I’m not!” Bo laughed. “I didn’t want to tell you about it until I had all the information. But I just heard back, and it looks like we’re going to be sending you to Georgia in a couple of months.”

The smile fell from Reese’s face. His cousin didn’t have to utter another word for everything to become perfectly clear.

And Reese knew he wasn’t going to like what Bo had to say, even though a few weeks ago, it would have made him the happiest person alive.

His throat tightened, and a seed of dread was shoved down into the pit of his stomach.

Bo didn’t seem to notice. He clapped Reese on the back and let out a laugh.

“Normally, they have a waiting list for that program—unless you sign up at the beginning of the year. But Caleb’s friend is in admissions.

Not only that, but there’s a decent financial aid program, too.

Since your work will mainly be with a charitable organization, they offer a scholarship of sorts.

Of course we’ll be paying for a portion of it as well.

And Jane said that her funding will pay for a portion, too. ”

The more Bo spoke, the more shocked Reese became. Sounded like funding wasn’t going to be an issue. But that didn’t mean housing and food would?—

“I’m talking about a full-ride . Well, technically for you, that’s what it would be.

After talking to everyone, we think we can handle everything.

Food. Housing. The works.” Bo’s bright, excited expression should have at least stirred something in Reese.

He should be just as excited as his cousin at the prospect being offered to him.

But all he could think about was Serenity.

Even if she moved back to the city and they were a couple hours away, he’d be able to see her frequently enough. But Georgia? Reese wouldn’t be able to see her for at least a year, if not more.

“What do you say?” Bo asked.

Reese opened his mouth, not sure of how he was going to respond, and was thankfully saved from doing so when Bo’s brother called out to him.

Bo’s head snapped in that direction, and he clapped Reese on the shoulder. “We’ll talk details later, okay?”

Reese nodded his head numbly.

Bo backed away. “It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, and it’s finally in reach.”

It was the opportunity of a lifetime .

But so was having the love of the girl of his dreams.

What was he going to do?

He didn’t know where Serenity stood in their relationship. He didn’t know if she wanted him enough to be willing to work on a relationship—especially long distance.

Would she ask him to stay?

Biggest question of all: would he do that for her?

The sickening feeling in his stomach only got worse the more he thought about it. Bo was right, how could he even think about turning down an adventure like this? He’d be able to get the education and training to work with children in the capacity that he longed for. But at what cost?

Reese realized he was still standing aimlessly between the houses and the barn when he forced himself to move forward. He still felt like he was in a daze. Maybe he was too close to the situation. If he could talk this out with someone who was familiar with what he was going through…

As if an answer to his prayers, he entered the barn to find Leo and Noah deep in a discussion. Reese had been vaguely aware of Jane leaving the building a few minutes before he arrived.

His brother and his cousin stopped mid-discussion and glanced in his direction with curiosity. Leo was the first to speak.

“What’s wrong?”

Reese forced a smile, but he was fully aware that it probably looked more like a grimace than anything else. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced toward the door to make sure no one would come in and overhear what he was going to say. Specifically, Serenity.

Clearing his throat, he moved closer to Leo. “I need to know I’m not crazy.”

Leo laughed. “Too late for that.” But when he noticed the serious expression that Reese wore, he sobered. “What’s going on?”

“I just talked to Bo.”

Understanding filtered across Noah’s face, but he didn’t speak right away.

He was aware of the plan. That was probably what Jane was here to talk about.

Reese dragged his focus from Noah and continued.

“You know that training program they have over in Georgia? The one that would get me trained on working with children and horses? It’s accredited.

I know it’s not a requirement to do what Jane’s going to have me do, but it would put us at the top of the list for programs this side of the Mississippi. ”

Leo’s brows scrunched together, but he nodded.

“Bo said that he wants me to go. Someone pulled some strings for me, and they’re willing to enroll me in the program.”

This time, Leo’s face broke into a wide smile. “That’s amazing!”

Noah was the one who looked on with apprehension. No doubt, he was thinking of the secret admirer situation, along with whatever Jane might have heard straight from Serenity’s mouth.

“Why don’t you look excited?” Leo’s happiness dimmed. “Don’t you want to go anymore?” Then his eyes narrowed. “This doesn’t have to do with that woman and her kids, does it?”

“Her name is Serenity,” Reese bit out. “What’s your problem? Trouble in paradise? Can’t deal with the woman in your life?”

Leo’s expression darkened further. “There’s nothing going on between us, and there never will be.”

His brother was wrong. Reese had never seen Leo react to someone like he had with Kat. And his denial was only going to make things worse. Reese wasn’t about to give his brother any pointers, though. Not when he was judging Serenity for having a hard time with commitment.

Leo shook his head with a look that could only be described as pity.

Maybe there was some concern in their depths, but it was too hard to see.

“She’s not ready for a relationship, Reese,” Leo muttered quietly.

“And you’ve been ready since the moment you saw her.

Who knows if she’ll ever want anything more than what she’s willing to give you right now?

You can’t put your life on hold just because there’s a chance that she might change her mind.

I know it all seems to go back and forth, but it’s a complicated situation. ”

There was a strange sort of humming sound in Reese’s ears. His body practically vibrated with the irritation that Leo’s words incited. Before he could tear his brother a new one, Leo continued.

His voice softened a few degrees, and he moved closer. “Maybe this is what you’re supposed to be doing. Have you considered that taking a step back would force her to decide if you’re what she wants?”

Reese froze.

“You know what they say,” Leo sighed. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder. She’s gotten so used to you being in her life, easy to access. You’re… comfortable .”

The way Reese’s stomach seized up at that word—it was a miracle he didn’t make himself sick. Leo was right. Serenity knew that he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d said as much himself. He cared for her, and he was willing to do things based on her timeline.

And what did people do when they were comfortable?

They didn’t grow.

He could be stunting her healing process simply by sticking around.

The more he thought about it, the more his gut roiled. What if he was nothing more than a security blanket?

Reese scowled at his brother, who remained staring even after a few minutes.

Noah had gone quiet during their argument, and he stood off to the side rubbing his neck.

He knew more than Leo. He knew just how deep Reese’s affections for Serenity ran, and he’d kept his mouth shut during the whole thing.

It wouldn’t have been surprising if he’d spoken up, though. He could have shared Reese’s secret, but it would have only served to solidify Leo’s opinion that Serenity simply wasn’t ready for more, and Reese was the one hanging in limbo.

Maybe Leo was right. Maybe the next stage in Reese’s life was to dive head-first into this training program so he could make something of himself. If he did, then he wouldn’t have to stick around after Serenity inevitably left. She hadn’t mentioned anything about wanting to stay for the long haul.

Heck, she still wasn’t comfortable with telling her son how serious they were starting to get.

But were they really serious?

He let out a growl before stalking away from his brother and his cousin. Mere days ago, he would have willingly given up on his dream job for Serenity. He would have never admitted it to Leo, but if Serenity had asked him to follow her to the city and be with her there, he would have done it.

His heart was all in, and there was no denying it.

But her?

Something told him she was already planning on leaving him the second the summer was over.

Despite knowing that, he couldn’t shake that terrified feeling of actually losing her for good.

If she wasn’t willing to commit to something right now, then how could he expect her to commit to something long-distance?

The truth was simple.

He couldn’t.