Page 49 of A Cornish Winter’s Kiss

Emily was really glad she’d offered to cook Christmas dinner.

She couldn’t be expected to join in with all the fun and games that made up an Anderson family Christmas while she was elbow deep in potato peelings.

It also meant she wasn’t able to check her phone every five seconds to see whether there were any new messages from Jude.

He’d texted to wish her a happy Christmas and she’d responded in kind, keeping things short and sweet.

But it hadn’t been any different to the kind of message she’d have sent a friend, and not even a particularly close one at that.

She’d been about ten minutes from serving the dinner up when Jasmine had called.

‘Happy Christmas, Em, I’m on my third glass of champagne so this is shaping up to be a good one!’

‘That’s great. Happy Christmas, Jas.’ Emily put the call on speakerphone while she stirred the gravy, and she thought she’d done a good job of sounding far more upbeat than she felt.

‘Okay, what’s wrong?’ Her best friend had always known her far too well, but she didn’t want to get into this on Christmas Day, and she didn’t want to bring Jasmine down either.

‘Nothing, I’m fine. I’m just on Christmas dinner duty and it’s stressing me out a bit.’

‘Well, that’s a load of crap.’ Charlotte’s voice behind Emily made her jump, and her face flushed red.

‘Do you mind? I’m having a private conversation with Jasmine.’

‘You don’t mind, do you, Jas?’ Charlotte moved closer to the phone.

‘Absolutely not, I just want to know what the hell is going on. It’s Christmas Day and Em sounds like she’s spent the day filling in her tax return.’

‘She’s miserable because she’s decided to stay in Cornwall to look after Mum and Dad, and a certain handsome author is going back to London tonight.’ Charlotte sounded exasperated and Emily was already regretting confiding in her sister, but it was too late now.

‘You’re staying in Cornwall?’ Jasmine sounded horrified.

‘I’ve got to, Mum and Dad need me.’

‘You don’t have to. I love you for offering, but I don’t want you to have to put your life on hold, and I don’t think they will either.

’ Charlotte sighed. ‘She won’t even let me speak to them about the option of having some paid help.

I’m not denying Dad needs a break, but I’m sure this isn’t the only solution. ’

‘I want to stay in Cornwall. It’s where I need to be right now, and nothing either of you can say will change my mind.’ Emily stirred the gravy so vigorously that a big puddle of it splashed over the side of the pan and almost put the gas burner out.

‘Then why the hell do you sound so miserable?’ Jasmine had clearly decided that Charlotte was right.

‘I…’ Emily had never been able to lie to her best friend or her sister, and they were already on her back, so she might as well tell them the truth.

‘I did think that maybe Jude and I had something special. But when I told him I was staying, his first reaction was to leave even sooner than he’d originally planned. ’

‘Don’t you think that might be because by staying in Port Agnes you’re essentially putting an end to your relationship? He’s probably gutted.’ Jasmine’s response made Charlotte shriek in agreement.

‘That’s what I said!’ Emily’s sister wasn’t done with sharing her opinion yet either.

‘Do you know what’s worse, Jas? She hasn’t even told him that she wants to try and make this work.

He probably thinks she’s not interested in him if she’s staying.

But if he could see her face now, looking like a slapped arse, he’d know how miserable she really is. ’

‘For God’s sake, Em, why don’t you just tell him?’ Jas and Charlotte were ganging up on her now, but she wasn’t backing down.

‘Because he already thinks I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m not going to make a fool of myself by admitting how much these last couple of months have meant to me, if they didn’t mean anything to him, apart from a way to finish his book.

’ Emily sighed. ‘Maybe he was right in the first place and all of this stuff is just in my head.’

‘What are we going to do with her, Jas?’ Charlotte still sounded exasperated, but neither of them seem to understand why she wasn’t willing to open herself up to any more hurt than she was already feeling. Maybe Jude had taught her just as much as she’d taught him.

‘Do you think we need to stage an intervention? The queen of romance saying she no longer believes in it?’ Jasmine made it sound like the end of the world.

‘Maybe I’ve finally grown up.’ Emily picked up her phone. ‘I must have done, because I’m cooking Christmas dinner and I’m refusing to chase after another man who’s proven he’s not that into me. And weren’t you the one who told me never to do that again, Jas?’

‘I can’t argue with that I suppose.’ Jasmine finally seemed to have got the message, but Charlotte still wasn’t ready to give up.

‘Yeah, but if you saw them together, you’d realise how much he likes her too. One of them just needs to have the guts to admit it.’

‘Well, it’s not going to be me.’ Emily shot her sister a look. ‘Bye, Jas, have a great day, I’ll call you tomorrow.’

Ending the call, she turned to her sister. ‘I know you’re only trying to help and I love you for it, but I’m not going to go running after Jude. Maybe he was right all along and I was chasing after something that doesn’t even exist. Either way, I’m not doing it any more, not even for him.’

Emily turned her back on her sister, giving the gravy one final stir.

Next time she got involved with someone, she wasn’t going to be the one doing all the running.

If she was going to be a romantic fool, she might as well hold out for someone who was willing to fight for her, even if that meant losing Jude.

Jude was playing a seemingly never-ending game of Monopoly with his nephew and niece, but somehow he was still enjoying it.

That would never have happened if Emily hadn’t opened his eyes to all the things he was missing.

His thoughts had kept drifting back to her all day.

He didn’t want them to, but they did. She’d turned his whole world upside down and now she was walking out of it.

He wanted to be angry about it, but in truth he was just sad.

It turned out he wasn’t doing as well at keeping that to himself as he’d thought he was, but maybe it shouldn’t have been a surprise that his stepmother was the first one to spot it.

‘It’s been so lovely to have you here today, Jude.’ Viv had come outside to find him when he’d gone into the garden with Rufus to make sure the dog didn’t chase the ducks that lived on the lake at the back of his father’s house.

‘I’ve had a really good time. I should have done this years ago.’ Jude might not have felt able to be honest with Emily, but he’d been determined not to revert back to the person he’d been before he met her, and he’d wanted Viv to know how grateful he was to her.

‘Today should be proof that it’s never too late to make a change to your life.’ Viv had squeezed his hand.

‘Why do I think I’m about to get a lecture.’

‘Not a lecture, Jude, just a nudge. This girl you’ve been working with means something to you, doesn’t she?’

‘I thought so, but she’s decided to stay in Cornwall and when I suggested that I stay on for a while too, she wasn’t interested.’

‘You suggested it?’ Viv had shaken her head. ‘Why didn’t you just come out and ask her?’

‘I did.’

‘No, you didn’t.’ Squeezing his hand again, Viv had forced him to look at her. ‘You’re an amazing person, Jude, but sometimes you can be a closed book and you might have to spell it out for Emily in order for her to realise how much she means to you. What’s the worst that can happen?’

Jude hadn’t replied, even though he knew only too well what the worst thing was. Emily could reject him, and he’d had enough of that to last a lifetime. But when Jude didn’t answer, Viv had sighed heavily.

‘You’ve been through a lot, sweetheart, things that should never have happened to you, but nothing can undo that.

What you’ve got to remember is that you need to keep looking forward, not back.

Don’t let your past take your future away from you too.

It’s taken enough already. Life is short; losing Fiona’s dad taught me that.

Don’t miss out on what could be important because of pride.

If you try and fail, that’s still a hell of a lot better than not trying. ’

Viv had planted a kiss on his cheek without waiting for him to answer and disappeared back inside, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He’d told himself she didn’t really understand, but ever since the conversation with Viv, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to talk to Emily.

Even as he sat here now, playing Monopoly with the children, he just wanted to tell her how much the things she’d taught him had changed his Christmas for the better.

But it wasn’t just his Christmas she’d changed.

Emily had changed how he thought about so many things, and suddenly he realised that Viv was right; he had to tell her.

It didn’t matter if she didn’t want to take things any further.

She deserved to know how much impact she’d had on his life, and he wanted to tell her today. Right now. It couldn’t wait.

‘I think I’m going to have to concede the game.’ He smiled at Grace and Hector. ‘But I think I owe you both a penalty payment for losing so spectacularly.’ Jude pulled two twenty-pound notes out of his wallet and handed one to each of the children.

‘Thank you, Uncle Jude!’ the children chorused in union and threw themselves towards him for a hug.

‘Thanks for playing Monopoly with me, and I’m going to keep practising so I can try to beat you next time.’ Jude hugged them tightly for a moment, shocked at how emotional he suddenly felt about saying goodbye to them.