Page 26 of A Cornish Winter’s Kiss

‘I’ve already walked him today, sweetheart, so don’t feel like you’ve got to go out again. It’s bitter out there.’ Emily’s father had shivered at the thought of venturing outside, but it hadn’t put her off.

‘I won’t be long, but I want to go and see the boats while it’s dark.

I love it when they’re all lit up.’ It wasn’t a lie.

She’d always loved seeing the fishing boats bobbing in the harbour, illuminated by fairy lights in all different colours.

Over the years, the boat owners had got more and more competitive, trying to outdo one another, and in the end it had been turned into a proper competition, with the winner announced on Christmas Eve.

Anyone could pay a pound to vote for their favourite and all the money raised went to help fund the local lifeboat station.

But that wasn’t the only reason she wanted to go out.

All day she’d had that nagging feeling, as if she’d forgotten to do something really important and, try as she might to deny it, she knew it was because she hadn’t seen Jude.

This wasn’t paid work any more; they were hanging out together because they both seemed to want to.

She liked talking to him and they’d spoken about all kinds of things, including the aftermath of their mothers’ accidents.

Emily had felt his pain as he’d described Ros’s last days, when the doctors had said she was never coming out of the coma.

He’d lost his mother at such a young age, and that could so easily have been what happened to Patsy.

It had deepened something between them to share those experiences, and it turned out they had a lot more in common too. Some of it quite surprising.

‘Have you got plans to get together with any more of your friends while you’re down here?’ Jude had asked the question as they were walking along the clifftop to Dagger’s Head, in the neighbouring village of Port Kara.

‘Yes, a few. I’m having a night out with the girls I went to school with at the weekend. A bit of a Christmas get-together.’

‘Let me guess, you’re going over to the hotel on the Sisters of Agnes island for cocktails and dinner?’

Emily had laughed. The Sisters of Agnes island was cut off from Port Agnes at high tide.

The island’s only building was a former convent, but it had been turned into a hotel after the last nuns had left.

It was far too high-end for the kind of night Emily and her friends had planned.

She was flattered that Jude thought she was the sort of woman who dined in five-star hotels, but on this occasion he couldn’t have been more wrong. ‘Sadly, we’re not that classy.’

‘So what are you up to?’ He’d turned and looked at her, and when she didn’t answer he’d grinned. ‘It’s all right, I’m not going to ask to tag along.’

‘I very much doubt you’d want to tag along with what we’re doing.’

‘Now you’ve really got me intrigued. I’m picturing a Magic Mike night in the village hall.’

Emily had laughed again. ‘Okay, if you must know, we’re going to an Abba tribute night and, yes, we will be dressing up.

I know it’s kitsch and that I’m far too young to love Abba as much as I do, but I don’t care.

I think they’re brilliant and it was my turn to organise the Christmas get-together, so that’s what we’re doing. ’

‘I love Abba too.’ She’d been certain at first that he was joking, but then he’d explained.

‘My mum used to play their songs all the time when I was growing up. She’d been huge fan of theirs when they were at the height of their fame, and she’d never stopped loving their music.

I was probably the only eight-year-old at my school who knew all the lyrics to “Dancing Queen” and “Waterloo”.

I listened to their music all the time after Mum died, and of course Sandra even tried to ruin that for me, telling my dad I must be gay, as if there would have been something wrong with it if I was.

That summed Sandra up. She was bitter and hate-filled, so it shouldn’t have been any surprise that she was homophobic too.

Her insistence that I needed to be more masculine was one of the reasons she used to persuade my dad to send me to a boarding school, where I could play rugby and learn to be a man, as she put it.

She just wanted shot of me, but it was her way of justifying it.

But even she couldn’t kill my love of the music that meant so much to Mum, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve got the Abba Gold album downloaded to my phone.

It’s still my go-to when I need cheering up.

It just makes me think of her, and a time when we were both really happy. ’

‘Maybe you should come with us then.’ Emily hadn’t been able to stop herself from inviting him along.

There had been so much she wanted to say to Jude in response to what he’d just told her, but every time they talked about anything personal she let him lead the conversation.

It was far easier to avoid overstepping the mark that way and having to watch him shut down on her again as a result.

She’d been itching to ask him if he thought being adopted might be at the root of the way he felt about relationships, especially given everything that had happened after Ros died.

Instead she’d found herself making an offer she suspected would be all too easy for him to refuse.

‘Oh, I’m sure your friends would love that!’ Jude had laughed this time.

‘Actually I think they probably would.’ What Emily hadn’t admitted was that she knew for a fact her friends would have been delighted to have Jude’s company.

None more so than Rosie, who’d asked Emily to pass her number on to Jude the day after they’d bumped into him in Mehenick’s.

Rosie had no idea Emily hadn’t done it yet, and she couldn’t have justified the delay to her friend if she’d asked why.

She couldn’t even justify it to herself.

‘Maybe next time. I might need a while to source the right outfit.’ Jude had laughed again, before changing the subject and that had been that.

It was another moment when he’d shown Emily a side of himself that he almost instantly seemed to regret revealing, but bit by bit she was piecing the real Jude together and she liked him more and more.

‘You look like you’re about to head across the Antarctic,’ Jude called out to her now as he walked towards where she was waiting, just in front of the lobster pot Christmas tree. ‘I wasn’t even sure it was you at first, until I saw Gary Barlow.’

Emily loved the fact that Jude was happy to call the dog by the silly name he’d been given. When they’d first met, she’d thought he was arrogant, maybe even a bit stuck up, but that slightly cold persona he sometimes adopted definitely wasn’t the real Jude.

‘My dad insisted on the furry deer stalker, and these wellies were a Christmas gift from my Great-aunt June last year, who I suspect still thinks I’m about seven. But you’re going to have to shout because I can’t hear anything with these ear flaps.’

‘One of the things I really like about you is that you’re so authentically yourself.’ She was almost sure that was what Jude had said, but she lifted the flap of the fake fur hat so she could check. ‘Sorry, what did you say?’

Jude laughed then and shook his head. ‘I said I really like the fact you’re your own person.

I don’t think I know anyone else who’d wear a furry deer stalker and bumble bee wellies, happily introduce her dog as Gary Barlow to anyone who asked, or who would be quite so open and honest about their hopes for a happily ever after in a world where we’re all supposed to be far more cynical. ’

‘Hmm, I’m not entirely sure whether I should take that as a compliment.’ Emily smiled all the same, hanging on to the fact that he’d said he really liked her for exactly who she was. Surely that had to be a good thing.

‘It’s definitely a compliment, and this was a great idea. I’d forgotten how much effort they make with the boats.’

‘You must be able to see them from your place.’ When Emily had discovered that Jude was staying at Puffin’s Rest, she’d felt a pang of envy.

She’d seen the apartment online when it had gone up for rent, but she could never have afforded it, even if she hadn’t been living in London.

She hadn’t realised it had gone back to being an Airbnb, but she couldn’t really have justified booking it for a weekend when it was less than ten minutes’ walk from her parents’ house.

‘The windows look out to sea in the other direction, and I’ve been mostly working when I haven’t been out with Rufus.

So I haven’t been out in the evenings. The last time I came down just to look at the lights was with Mum, a few days before we left on the skiing trip.

’ A mask of sadness almost swallowed Jude’s features for a moment, and Emily’s throat burned as she looked at him with the desire to cry tears she had no right to.

This wasn’t her pain, but it was so palpable and she wanted to put her arms around Jude and try to absorb some of the hurt for him, just for a little while, but she had no idea how he’d react.

‘I’m sorry. It must be so hard when memories like that hit you.’ She spoke softly, resisting the urge to reach out for him, as much as she wanted to.

‘It’s nice to remember the good times. She always loved Christmas and the lights down here, but for a long time all of that was associated with the time of year we lost her.

’ Jude seemed to shake himself, turning to her with a smile, clearly ready for a change of subject.

‘So where are we headed off to? Are you going to take me on a tour of all the dark alleys that no one born outside Port Agnes know exists?’