Page 15 of A Cornish Winter’s Kiss

Still, he didn’t like the fact that his inability to agree with Emily made her feel awkward.

She’d proved to have invaluable insight and given him ideas to redirect his novel that he’d probably never have thought of without her.

She was also what his second stepmother, Viv, would have called a ‘lovely young woman’.

Viv said that a lot, about the daughters of her friends who were single and who she thought Jude might like to meet.

She’d even arranged for two of them to just happen to drop in when Jude was making a duty visit to see his father.

They’d been just as Viv had described – lovely – but he wasn’t interested.

He didn’t want to get involved with the daughters of his stepmother’s friends, because it would get far too messy when things inevitably didn’t work out.

Jude wasn’t looking for commitment; he’d tried it once and that was enough.

If he told anyone that was the reason, they’d probably think Mia had broken his heart so badly that he didn’t want to risk it happening again, but they’d have been wrong.

Jude wasn’t crushed by the breakup with Mia, just jaded by the fact that people seemed so willing to lie to each other, and themselves, about the relationships they were in, just because they’d rather be with anyone than be on their own.

Jude had seen it with his father. He found it impossible to believe that Charles had ever really been happy with Sandra, after having been married to someone as lovely as Ros.

Sandra was barely any nicer to Charles than she’d been to his son, but his father had been desperately lonely after Ros’s death, and he’d needed someone to fill the void.

He’d spent years trying to convince himself that someone was Sandra, but despite never vocalising it, his relief had been palpable when she’d eventually left him.

It was different with his father and Viv, Jude could see that, and maybe they really did love each other.

They certainly believed they did, but Jude never wanted that kind of dependence on someone.

That was where the real heartbreak was waiting to happen, because one day one of them would be left on their own, all over again.

In some ways it would be easy and far less risky for Jude to embark on a relationship, because of the way he felt.

There’d always be a big piece of himself he was holding back, but that was just one more reason why he didn’t want Viv setting him up with anyone.

The likelihood was that these women wanted far more than he had to offer; all he could provide was a kind of parallel existence, where he never let his guard down enough to be heartbroken.

He didn’t ever want to feel the way he’d felt in the wake of his mother’s death again.

If he allowed himself to buy into the idea of love, it meant he’d get hurt eventually, one way or the other, because everyone left in the end.

If he’d been honest with the women Viv had tried to fix him up with, they’d have run a mile.

Most people seemed to be looking for commitment once they reached a certain age, and women like Emily, who believed whole-heartedly in living happily ever after, would never really understand why he didn’t.

Maybe they’d been luckier than he had, or maybe he was just a realist, in a world where most people preferred the fantasy.

It didn’t really matter, because whatever the reason, he’d didn’t want to be the one to let someone else down, and that was bound to happen in the end, if he tried to pretend.

Jude had done his best to rein in his responses to the activities they’d gone to so far, but he had a feeling his face was going to give him away today, no matter how hard he tried.

They were going to be witnessing a Christmas-themed carriage ride in Richmond Park and he hadn’t been able to stop himself from pulling a face when Emily had suggested they check it out.

‘We’re not actually going to have to ride in the carriage, are we?’ The thought was mortifying, but thankfully Emily had shaken her head.

‘Not at five hundred pounds, no. After all, that could buy you almost two hours of my time.’ Emily had smiled, her eyes shining as she teased him and the dimples reappearing.

It had stirred something inside him that he’d immediately pushed down.

Being attracted to Emily was no surprise; she was beautiful, but they were complete opposites and the last thing he wanted to do was mess up an arrangement that was working well.

‘So we’re just going to watch other people taking carriage rides?’

‘It’s a special event, before they open to the public at the end of the month. This one is being filmed for a TV show, and my friend who works for the production company said they’re expecting a proposal.’

‘Sounds tacky.’ Jude hadn’t been able to stop himself from grimacing again. ‘Surely the TV crew aren’t going to want to have random members of the public in the background.’

‘India said they’re filming certain parts of the ride, but they can’t close off the park altogether.

Look, it’s pretty clear you don’t think this is going to help.

’ Emily had given him a look that suggested her patience might be running out.

‘But Richmond Park is so lovely and there’ll be lots of opportunities for people-watching that might give you some insight.

We could go for a walk and you could bring Rufus. ’

It was that last suggestion that had swung it.

He’d mentioned the dog to Emily on the trip to the ice rink, and she’d told him how much she missed having a dog now she was living in London and it wasn’t practical for her to have one.

Jude would have thought the same if he didn’t have a garden or work from home.

He took Rufus out at least once a day, often walking the mile to Hyde Park so that the dog had a bit more green space to enjoy.

But Richmond Park would be a whole new adventure, and he was confident that even if the idea of watching people riding around on a horse and carriage for a reality TV show didn’t thrill him that Emily would somehow come up with another useful angle to apply to his story. She hadn’t failed so far.

‘I can’t believe how quickly November is flying past, although you can feel the drop in the temperature, can’t you?

’ Emily was waiting outside the Roehampton Café, next to where Jude had parked, as arranged.

She was wearing a long padded coat and a bright red bobble hat and matching scarf that would make her stand out in a crowd, even if she hadn’t been capable of doing that all by herself. ‘Hello, gorgeous!’

For a split second, Jude thought Emily was talking to him, but then she leant down and made a huge fuss of Rufus, who almost curled himself into a ball with excitement.

Jude might not believe in love at first sight when it came to humans, but he knew for a fact that it existed with dogs, because he’d just witnessed Rufus’s instant adoration of Emily.

‘It’s definitely colder.’ Jude answered her original question, but he might as well have stayed silent for all the notice she and Rufus were taking of him. ‘Shall we get a drink before we go?’

‘I’ve brought us a flask and a bit of a picnic.’ Emily gestured towards a rucksack sitting on the ground a couple of feet away. ‘We might have to find a bench to watch the carriage go past, and I thought bringing lunch was the least I could do, seeing as you’re spending so much money on my fee.’

The playful smile was back and it was just as well that Emily’s words had been a timely reminder that this was strictly business.

‘Great, well, in that case, shall we get going? I think Rufus is dying to stretch his legs and find his own picnic if he gets the chance, probably consisting of deer droppings knowing him.’

‘I think we can do better than that, and I might just have packed him a treat or two.’ Emily picked up the rucksack.

‘I can carry that.’

She brushed his hand away as he attempted to reach for it. ‘I’m perfectly capable, thank you.’

‘I don’t doubt it.’ He liked the flashes of feistiness he’d witnessed in Emily even more than the softer side of her personality. ‘Right, where are we headed?’

‘Holly Lodge, where the carriage rides start, is a mile and a half in that direction.’ Emily gestured across the park.

‘India suggested we find a spot between here and there as the camera crew will be at Holly Lodge and then towards the end of the route, where they’ve been told to expect the proposal. ’

‘I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to be learning from this. For DCI McGuigan to go on a carriage ride, he’d have to suspect the driver of being a murderer. Either that or he’s had a frontal lobotomy.’

‘Is that what they’re called, carriage drivers?

’ She was getting good at not rising to the bait, and she didn’t wait for him to answer as she headed towards the path.

‘As for what you can learn from this, I’m not expecting you to put a carriage ride in your books, but what you might witness is the way someone looks when the person they love has planned something incredibly special just for them.

Or how someone looks when they’re about to take the huge step of asking another person to spend the rest of their lives together. ’