Page 40 of A Cornish Winter’s Kiss

‘Absolutely. I doubt there’s anything you could tell me that would be worse than the scenarios I’ve already imagined.’

‘Oh, there was nothing bad that day.’ Gwen shook her head.

‘Like you said, it was Trisha’s birthday the day you were born and I remember her telling Jill that there was only one gift she wanted.

She asked her to promise to find you a mother who made you her number one priority, because her own mother had never done that for her. ’

‘That’s exactly what I got. My mother was wonderful.’ The emotion lodged in Jude’s throat like a golf ball and caught him by surprise. After all this time, he wasn’t used to it hitting him so hard, but the last few days had shaken everything he thought he knew about himself.

‘I’m so glad.’ Gwen let go of a long breath. ‘Jill didn’t have control over who adopted you, but she promised Trisha she’d do whatever she could and I’m so happy it worked out that way.’

‘Me too, but it makes me wonder if anyone was looking out for Trisha. She was only twenty-one when she died.’ It was a strange sensation, feeling so protective of his biological mother, but it didn’t feel like he was talking about a maternal figure.

It felt as if he was talking about someone younger than him, someone vulnerable, who’d been just a day out of her teens when he was born.

Even though he’d never known her, he couldn’t deny he cared about this stranger who’d given birth to him.

He hated the thought of what she’d been through and how the aftermath of his adoption might have affected her.

‘I remember Trisha and her cousin talking about getting jobs as holiday reps in Spain, once she was over the birth. I got the feeling it was going to be their fresh start and a chance to get away from all the issues in their family.’

‘I’m glad she was looking forward to a better future, even if it ended up getting cut horribly short.

’ There was an ache in his chest for the young woman who’d never got a chance to follow her dreams, but there was a crumb of comfort in the fact she’d had some and had felt they were within her grasp.

Gwen put her hand over his. ‘I didn’t know Trisha well, we were only together on the day you were born, but I found it impossible to forget her.

Like I said, she was young, but her situation was unique in many ways.

Most girls of that age chose not to go ahead with their pregnancies, and those who did usually became single parents.

I admire anyone who brings up children alone; it’s the hardest job in the world, and I’ve got no doubt she’d have done brilliantly, as so many women do.

But Trisha was adamant she wanted more for you than she could give.

She wanted you to have everything, and I’m sure she’d have been proud of you.

If you want to know more than I can tell you, I’m still in touch with a friend who used to work with Jill, and I’m sure he’ll have her contact details.

If he puts you in touch with her, she’ll probably be able to tell you a lot more.

Jill might even know how to find Trisha’s cousin. ’

‘Thanks, but I think all of this is enough for now.’ Jude slowly withdrew his hand.

He needed to process what Gwen had told him and he didn’t want to do that in the company of someone he barely knew, as thankful as he was for the information she’d given him.

‘But I really am grateful for what you’ve told me. ’

‘If you change your mind at any point, you know how to get in touch with me. I’m so glad the information has been helpful for you, but I’m still sorry I didn’t handle it better.’

‘It’s okay, Gwen, you really don’t need to keep apologising. I was never upset with you. I was just disappointed that Emily spoke to you about it after I’d told her it wasn’t what I wanted. She had no right to do that.’

‘She didn’t.’ Gwen fixed him with a level look.

‘I thought you knew that. All she did was talk to Patsy about it, to try and work out the best way of helping you so that you could find a way of finishing your novel. Patsy used to be a counsellor, and I guess Em thought she might have some insight. It was Patsy who asked me if there was a way of finding anything out, if you decided that’s what you wanted, and I think we both just got a bit carried away when I realised that I was one of the midwives who was there when you were born.

None of this was down to Emily and, at the risk of overstepping the mark one more time, there’s something else I feel I need to say. ’

‘Okay.’ Jude suddenly felt as if he was in the headteacher’s office, and his mind was already all over the place, trying to work out if Emily owed him an apology or if it was the other way around.

‘It’s obvious you like Emily and that she feels the same way, so just don’t blow it.

’ Gwen patted his hand one more time before getting up and leaving without another word.

It had been the perfect mic drop moment and she’d given Jude more to think about than he’d ever thought possible.

Now he really wanted to talk to someone about it.

The problem was, there was only one person he wanted to talk to.

But he had a horrible feeling he’d already left it too late to follow Gwen’s advice and that his chances of not blowing it were long gone.