Page 42 of A Cornish Winter’s Kiss

They’d ended the call still laughing, but Marty’s words about Jude pushing people away before he could come to rely on them had lodged in his head.

It was a pattern he could see, but changing that would be a huge risk and he still wasn’t sure he could take it.

At least he understood now how someone like DCI McGuigan might find the motivation to change and finally learn to trust someone.

Suddenly finishing the book didn’t seem quite so impossible as a result.

He could see a way forward for his novel, but he still didn’t know what direction his friendship with Emily would take.

The only thing he knew for certain was that he didn’t want it to end, and that made it feel like there was a lot at stake as he drove over to pick her up.

Emily emerged from the front door when he pulled to a halt on the drive, Gary Barlow shooting out past her and turning in circles, barking as loudly as he could and chasing his own tail.

‘As you can see, someone is a little bit excited.’ Emily grinned as she opened the car door, bending down to look inside. ‘I’ve got no idea how he knew it was you and Rufus, but he obviously does.’

The dog bounded past her as she spoke, jumping over the passenger seat and leaping into the back of the car where Rufus had been stretched out on a blanket, the pair of them breaking into high-pitched howling at the sight of one another.

‘Blimey, they sound even worse than me and my sister when we do karaoke after lunch on Christmas Day.’ Emily pulled a face.

‘That’s something I’d like to see.’ Jude realised he meant it.

Christmas had been something he’d avoided as much as possible for years, and until very recently the thought of a family Christmas would have felt as alien to him as life on Mars.

Yet suddenly he could imagine it, wrapped in the heart of Emily’s family, who seemed to have a myriad of festive traditions, all of them fairly simple, but with the sole aim of spending time together.

If he wasn’t careful, he was going to start wishing for his life to be like the plot of a Sophia Wainwright novel.

He might have had a series of revelations about his life recently, but starting to confuse reality with romance novels would definitely be taking things a step too far.

‘Do you think you can put up with Rufus and Gary Barlow giving you and your sister a run for your money on the drive to Port Tremellien?’ Jude looked at Emily, marvelling at how the dimples in her cheeks appeared from nowhere when she smiled, and the way that seeing them always made him want to smile too.

‘We might have to turn up the radio to drown them out. Although I should warn you, if they’re playing Christmas songs, I’m going to be joining in, and you might end up wishing you’d stuck to listening to the doggy duo.’

‘I’ll risk it.’ As Jude switched on the radio, he told himself the only risk he was talking about was Emily starting a singalong; even if he could still hear Marty’s voice in his head, urging him to risk a whole lot more.

Spending a few hours in Port Tremellien had been just what Emily needed.

It was one of those calm, clear winter days, with a bright blue sky, that would have belied the time of year if it hadn’t also been bitterly cold.

Both she and Jude were wearing heavy winter coats, and she also had a scarf, hat and gloves on as they followed the dogs along the headland.

Jude told her about his meetup with Gwen and the information she’d given him.

He tried to apologise again too, but Emily had stopped him and offered up her own apology.

He’d told her it was all forgotten. He still didn’t know how Trisha had felt about having him adopted, but knowing she’d wanted the best for him had clearly been of comfort.

‘I think that might be enough.’ He’d shrugged when he said it, but she wasn’t entirely convinced by his attempt to sound casual.

‘I’ve found out more in the last few days than I thought I might ever know.

I need to let that sit for a while before I decide if I want Gwen’s friend or the intermediary agency to get in touch with Trisha’s cousin, or any other relatives I might have on that side. ’

‘Are you glad you know what you know?’ Emily hadn’t been able to stop herself from asking the question, despite suspecting she already knew the answer. She’d needed to know for sure if she was going to stop feeling guilty about pushing Jude in that direction.

‘I’m really glad.’ He’d touched her arm, just briefly, but it had left her wanting more and she’d had to push her hands into the pockets of her coat to stop herself from responding.

They’d gone to lunch after that, with two dogs who were suddenly much more well behaved, exhausted by their walk and sitting by Emily’s feet in front of a roaring log fire as yet more Christmas songs played in the background.

They’d talked about Jude’s book, and how DCI McGuigan’s storyline might unfold.

And had found themselves agreeing on the best way to approach it.

Now they were headed back to Port Agnes, with just one more stop along the way.

‘This is my dad’s place.’ Jude turned to look at her as they pulled into the sweeping gravel driveway of an impressive Georgian house.

‘It’s beautiful.’ Emily had suspected it might be grand from what Jude had told her about his father, but what she hadn’t expected was the huge Christmas tree in the front garden, with a whole family of rattan reindeer outlined in white fairy lights.

It didn’t look like the home of the man who Jude had described as cold and distant, and he must have seen the look of surprise on her face.

‘It is, but if you’re wondering about all the decorations, they’re down to Viv. She likes to make Christmas special for the grandchildren.’

‘I bet it’s an amazing place to spend Christmas.’

‘I hope they enjoy it, but I can’t say I’ve ever enjoyed a Christmas here since Mum died.’

‘Not even after your dad and Viv got together, and you had your stepsister to spend it with?’

‘Viv’s great, and so are Fiona and her family, but Dad’s still always around.

’ Jude sighed. ‘I don’t know if it’s just because he reminds me of all the bad times after Mum died, especially once Sandra came into our lives, or whether it’s just that he and I are worlds apart, but it’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself around him.

If I’m honest, I think I forgot how to be myself around anyone for a long time.

Probably because I spent most of it wishing I was someone else. ’

‘Jude, I don’t think you realise how great—’ Emily’s response was cut off as someone rapped on the window of the car, and she almost jumped out of her skin.

‘Are you coming in, darling?’

‘It’s my stepmother,’ Jude said by way of explanation, and he lowered the window on Emily’s side.

‘Hi, Viv, this is my friend, Emily. I was just about to knock to pick up that box of Mum’s stuff you wanted me to take.

I can come and grab it, but we won’t stop.

We’ve got both the dogs in the car and they’re soaking wet from a run on the beach. ’

It wasn’t true – the dogs had long since dried out by the fire – but it didn’t sound like Viv would have been concerned even if they’d come straight off the sand.

‘I’d never worry about that sort of thing.

Come on in and I’ll make a nice hot toddy, or some ginger beer for you, Jude, if you’re driving. ’

‘We’d love to, Viv, but Em’s got to get back for a family thing.

’ It sounded like the kind of vague response you might give if you were making up a lie on the spot, which was exactly what Jude had done.

Even so, Emily couldn’t deny the warm glow that came from him using the shortened version of her name for the first time.

‘That’s such a shame.’ Viv sounded genuinely disappointed, but then she turned to look at Emily, a broad smile on her face. ‘Hopefully we’ll get to meet you properly some other time. I know Charles would have loved to, but he’s in Truro, doing his Christmas shopping. Heaven help us all!’

Viv’s laugh was every bit as genuine as her smile, and Emily found herself wishing they could go inside.

‘If he’s anything like my dad, you’ll have to get your poker face ready so it doesn’t give away your disappointment. He bought me a tea cosy last year in the shape of a black sheep, because I once said I thought they were cuter than white ones.’

‘I think black sheep are often the best type too, even if they are sometimes misunderstood.’ Viv sounded serious for a moment and Emily couldn’t help wondering if the statement was aimed at Jude, but then she grinned.

‘Although if Charles gets me a tea cosy for Christmas, he’ll be wearing it as a hat until June. ’

‘I wouldn’t put it past him.’ Jude rolled his eyes. ‘Shall I come in and grab the box?’

‘It’s actually an enormous suitcase, with lots of boxes and bags inside.

’ Viv pushed her glasses up her nose as she spoke.

‘I haven’t been through it, but I was sorting stuff out after the leak and I realised it had lots of Ros’s things inside.

I wanted to keep it safe, so I moved it out of the loft into one of the bedrooms. You can decide what you want to keep and then we can put it back up in the loft once the repairs to the roof are finished, or in one of the bedrooms. I just wanted you to have the chance to go through it first.’

‘Thank you, Viv, that was really kind of you. It’s lucky Sandra never found it, or it would have ended up in landfill years ago.’

‘Let’s hope that’s where Sandra is instead, eh, darling?’ Viv dropped a perfect wink, and Emily decided that she loved Jude’s stepmum.