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He’s completely enveloped me, using his entire body with his strong arms, broad shoulders, large hands, and legs bracketing mine on either side of the bench. Every part of him is touching me. I refuse to ask if this is goodbye. I won’t end this before he does.
Our embrace goes on and on, and hope takes flight in my heart. Should I welcome the hope or annihilate it? Nothing has felt right since Von left and this hug is everything.
Too soon, Von lets me go with his hands on my shoulders. The storm in his eyes is unreadable. As he leans back into an upright position, his hands drag down my shoulders until his fingertips skim my chest.
Von stands, walking backward, not breaking eye contact. When he’s on the other side of the tool room, he opens his arms to the side of his body resembling a cross.
My heart leaps, but I have to be sure.
“Well,” he says with his lips turning up, “what are you waiting for?”
I don’t think—I soar. He braces and catches me in his arms with ease, and I wrap my legs around his waist. I’m laughing and crying and trying to hold onto my hope. We’re kissing, our lips wet with my tears. No, his tears. Our tears.
“Is this real?” I whisper.
“Tell me why Shane Reynolds is calling to discuss international transfers and contracts?” He holds me tight but puts space between us so he can look me in the eye.
I wince. “He shouldn’t have called you. It’s a surprise.”
“It is too complicated for a surprise.”
“I’ve been talking to Hans about all the improvements you want to make to the farm and how much everything will cost.” Von clucks his tongue and I continue. “If you want this farm to be successful. I found a buyer for my land and when it sells, I’ll help you fund all the projects for the farm.”
“Alec, that land is your dream for a queer youth center. You cannot give it up.”
“But your dream means more.” I will give him every last cent I have to make his dreams come true.
“Don’t do that,min kärlek. You don’t need to buy my love.”
“That’s not...is that what I’m doing?” My heart flips over as I realize I might be doing that.
Von kisses me. “I will not take it. I don’t need your money. Hans is lucky he’s old and invaluable, or I would fire him for putting those thoughts in your head. This farm is not my dream. It’s a project to give back to the community while I hide away from the world.”
“What is your dream?” I ask and stop myself from telling him I’ll do anything to help him catch it.
“You don’t know?”
I shake my head.
“Oh,min kärlek, I will tell you everything, but for now, kiss me.”
Our kiss is a messy mash of lips and tongues and teeth. I inhale his scent, fresh air, rain, and distinctly Von. My mind is so thankful to have him again, but the rest of me is greedy—not able to get enough. I’ve missed his smell, his smile, his grumpy demeanor, and his body. My hands pull his hair loose and I sift my fingers through it, groaning.
His large palms have worked their way under my clothes, and he moans, touching my bare skin. “Talk or fuck,” he pants.
“The adult thing to say is that we should talk, but I can’t concentrate. So I vote for naked.”
“Thank fuck.” Von swears in English, and we’re grinding against each other while I’m wrapped around him.
Chapter forty-one
Von
Feeling Good by Muse
Alec took my heart and gave me his in its place. Words have never been easy for me, but his were perfect. All Alec.
I can hardly believe he’s here, and he loves me. And he’s willing to stay as long as he can. I ache for him.