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Alec opens his mouth to respond and I see the disconnect before he speaks. “Please don’t ruin this with fake Alec. I want the Alecstanding in front of me.” The smile is ripped off Alec’s face, and it’s my fault.
“I’m always me. You can’t pick and choose the parts of me that you like.” He tries to slide out of my grip.
I’m anarsleand don’t let him go. It has been years since I’ve held a man and Alec feels incredible. I miss the strength of a man.
“Wait,” I implore, trying to figure out what to say so he is not offended. “I do not have the right words, but sometimes it is as if you are playing a role, and I could be any random person. You flirt, but you’re not flirting withme.” I can’t tell him he is my sunshine and I’ll do anything to absorb some of his rays.
Alec stops fighting to break free, but his powerful muscles ripple under my hands. His face is impassive, and it’s obvious Alec will not cede control.
“I do not want to be anyone,” I continue. “If we do this, I cannot be some guy you have sex with and never see again.” I like him too much to be one more guy he fucks.
“Viking, what can I possibly say? Everything that comes to mind could be misinterpreted as dirty or cheesy or disingenuous. It’s a test I can’t pass.” His brown eyes bleed sincerity.
“Okay.” I grip his hips and ghost my lips over his ear. I’ve held back for so long. Cutting myself off from people and affection to the point that I’m touch starved and liable to ravage Alec. AndAlec can take it. He’s strong and sojävlarhard. Every single inch of the man tempts me.
“Okay? That’s it?” he sputters.
“I’m not trying to test you—help me understand.” I like Alec showing me his soft side. “But I have to know why you don’t bottom.” I’m terrified his answer will end this for good. Part of me doesn’t want to know, so I can ignore it.
Emotions play out on his face, and I’m horrified for him.
“Alec, did someone hurt you?” I ask, and when he lowers his eyes, my fingers dig into his sides. “Did someone assault you?”
His head snaps back, hitting the wall. “No. Not physically.”
“But something happened.” I press the issue.
His head tilts in the smallest nod.
“You don’t have to tell me.” I cradle his head into the crook of my neck. Warring with my emotions, I’m relieved he doesn’t have a toxic view of sex, but I’m furious someone hurt him so terribly that he’s given up on half the pleasure he could experience.
“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Alec says into my skin.
“Okay.” I believe the lie, and he pulls his head back. Alec’s brow scrunches up in uncertainty. I place a chaste kiss on his lipsand my body lights up. It’s not enough and I’m afraid nothing will ever be enough with this man. This might be my only night with him, and I am determined to make it count. He never gave me any assurance that I will be more than a guy he sleeps with for the night. It’s wrong to ask that of him after what happened tonight. I crave all of him. Everything he’s willing to give me—every ray of sunshine he has to spare.
My tongue finds its way into his mouth and I groan. His taste washes over me—he’s an aphrodisiac—and I’m immediately addicted. My hands skim over his corded neck to his strong jaw.
His hands roam my body, and his hands—god his hands—do not tread lightly. His fingers are rough and calloused, while his large palms try to imprint themselves on my skin. It’s heady and my brain is stuck on getting more.
My hands bracket his head to deepen the kiss and I’m lost. I’m frantic in my need to devour him. But Alec isn’t satisfied with being held in place and uses my hair to steer my head so he can explore every corner of my mouth. Alec’s lips are demanding, and his tongue is intent on plundering me.
He growls as if he wants me to know he’s in charge. Alec calls me a Viking, but he’s treating my body as if it’s his by right, and he’s not above taking what’s his with all the sweetness of a raider set on getting his spoils.
And I give in. Alec can have me and everything he’s determined to take.
By surrendering my control, we’ll both get what we want. I’ll be able to savor Alec giving himself over. Neither of us will have to hold back.
At first, I’m unsure how to signal him to lead, but then he sucks my tongue and I whimper. He knows and smiles into our kiss.
Alec leverages us off the wall and over to the bed. He moves so I am straddling him as he leans back on his elbows. I cannot be content with his lack of action, so I strip off his shirt. Ignoring the poison tattoo, I enjoy our skin-to-skin contact. “Pants. Off,” I bark, swinging my leg around so he can stand to remove them.
“Bossy,” Alec complains but complies with a grin.
I have a good-natured insult ready when I notice his tiny, silky red briefs. I trip over my pants to touch him and end up tackling him back onto the bed.
“What the…” Alec’s eyes are blown wide and wild. My hands pin his thighs.
His briefs are so soft, I’m crazed for my hand, cheek, and mouth to rub against them. Above the lace waistband, his gorgeous cock juts skyward, dripping pre-cum. The contrast between the silky material and the coarse hair covering his toned thigh muscles is the best thing I’ve ever felt.