Page 77

It makes sense now. I don’t deserve love. Von is better off without me anyway.
I know my friends want to fix this for me, but Mads was right. I should never have pursued something with Von. She knew, but I didn’t listen. In her weird, meddling way, she wants the best for me and tried to warn me about this heartbreak.
I can’t undo all these feelings.
I know for sure when Von leaves he’ll see things differently and I won’t be able to handle that.
Chapter thirty-four
Von
Unlove You by Tyler James Bellinger
Ican’t accept that Alec unofficially broke up with me. How did he know the Swedish words I’d said to him? I have to believe after he calms down, he’ll come back so we can work this out.
Confessing I love him is a manipulation. Clearly, he wouldn’t believe me and will always question my timing.
Telling him in Swedish that he was my life and my everything felt safe. But he’d known what I said and hated me for it. He’ll take a day to calm down and we’ll figure this out.
We have to figure this out.
I won’t accept that we’re over.
I’ll make him see that we’re meant for each other.
Insidious thoughts barge into my head. I shouldn’t have to make him see. He should know.
My gut clenches with the idea that Alec isn’t having a dramatic moment. He doesn’t love me back and left. He insisted the relationship was fake, but I thought we’d moved past that.
He doesn’t answer my call but I won’t leave my plea in a voicemail. Do I beg him to be with me? Do I push a long-distance relationship on him, or do I accept that this isn’t what he wants?
I won’t let him go without a fight.
I can’t tell him he’s my everything and pretend it’s not true. I’m going to let the sculpture of us do the talking and hope he loves me enough to endure a temporary separation.
My thumb hovers over a blank text. If I tell him I miss him already, it’s pointing out our problem. If I tell him my heart is aching for him, he won’t believe me. He’ll see the truth in my eyes. I write three words. Not the three words I long to say, but, ‘please call me.’
If he doesn’t call tonight, I’ll go to him tomorrow.
There’s a sharp banging on my door and I trip over myself to get to Alec.
I swing the door open and a tear-stained Madyson flings herself into my arms. “Von, what are we going to do? I can’t believe this happened.”
She lets me go and crosses the room to flop on the couch. “We need to figure out what to do. This is terrible timing.”
I’m touched she wants to help with Alec, but he’s still upset with her.
“Thank God for technology because we can Skype you in on the TV.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your show, Von. We have two days to set up your show.” By her expression, she thinks I’ve lost my mind.
But it tells me everything that is important.
I never once thought about missing my show. Only Alec.
Emmett sees me through the picture window of Unframed Art and his face falls. I can’t blame him. I am the walking dead. It’s hard to fight for someone who won’t see me. Alec won’t return any of my calls or texts. I’ve been to his apartment and Unframed Art, but Alec refuses to face me in person.