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That’s when a concerned Jesse asks Austyn, “How’s Fallon holding up since her mama’s memorial?”
My head snaps in his direction as my jaw drops. Did he say what I think he just said?
No. My mind rejects Jesse’s words as truth. That is, until Austyn’s head bows, the light of battle dissipating from her bright blue eyes. “About as well as can be expected. It’s only been a few weeks.” When she finishes speaking, her head falls to her husband’s shoulder, seeking support from a loved one—knowing Mitch will be there. The way I wasn’t there for Fallon.
Oh god. Helen’s gone.
The cogs of my brain stutter to life again and as they’re ca-chunking they’re also making my stomach churn.
What have I done?
Jesse mutters, “If I’d have known, I’d have been there.”
Paige leans over and grips his hand. “It’s all good, Jess. Helen was specific about who she wanted there. She didn’t want to add any further burden to Fallon.” Nodding at her own husband before aiming a tender look at her daughter. “Just imagine if Beckett showed up?”
As I’m trying to process the words, my fork, having just stabbed a bite of food, clatters to the plate, forgotten. “She lost her mother? How? Was it sudden?”
Austyn and Paige ignore me. My only ally in the room is apparently my father, who is wearing an expression that is just as bewildered as my own. Mitch answers us both, but only after he sees Tyson’s confusion. “Cancer. Despite every hump Fallon busted to afford the cost of treatment not covered by her mother’s insurance, she was too far gone by the time it was found. Her body couldn’t handle it.”
My hand is already itching to reach into my pocket for my cell to demand Leanne or Sam find a way to lift this ridiculous block Fallon dropped between us so I can offer her my condolences when my niece’s hostile voice freezes my movements. “I’m just so grateful she was able to spend those last few weeks with Helen without any interruptions. She left her second job—you know, the one where she worked at Devil’s Lair?”
Just hearing the name of that organization has me erupting. “You knew?”
Austyn eyes skew me like icicles. “Of course I did. In fact, she never actually received a paycheck from them. They paid for all her mother’s medical expenses in lieu of her taking money while she was alive. The owner urged her out when it became apparent Helen was going downhill.”
In my head, over and over, I see Thorn’s desperate text right before the one I found of Fallon’s.
Thorn:
Let us confirm. That is an order.
Fallon:
Love isn’t rational. Neither is what you’ll do to keep it.
She wasn’t working there because of the childish reasons I accused her of, she was trying to save her mother’s life. I don’t realize I’ve spoken aloud until Paige’s soft “Yes” slams into me with the power of a death strike. I shove back from the table, even the few inches separating me from the wood’s edge too close for me to be comfortable to breathe.
This is what Thorn was keeping from me. I’ve never wanted to murder someone so badly in my life as I did my former boss, but despite him holding back the information, I know where the real blame squarely sits.
On me.
“God. Oh god,” I rasp. My body shakes under the urge to strike something, the need to, what? Cry? Yeah, that’s a distinct possibility. I threw away something good and precious.
“Ethan, son? Are you all right?”
I may never be all right again. Still, I need to know what my family does. My eyes skewer my niece in pieces. “You knew what she was doing?”
Silence descends around the table. I’m certain Mitch is debating how to beat me senseless when Austyn hisses, “Why don’t you share with us what you think she was doing, Uncle Ethan?”
I shove my chair back so hard it falls behind me. “The worst, okay? I damn well assumed the worst.”
Malevolence gleams in her eyes as she drawls, “I already know that. Want to know how? I asked.”
Running my hands through my hair, I begin to pace. “Austyn, she works—worked—for a phone sex hotline.”
“So what?”
In deference to the assignment, I limit my words. “This particular one is…questionable.”