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“I had such hopes some hot professor would bend me over his desk. Maybe I’d tempt one of the priests into thinking they’d made a mistake when they’d joined the seminary,” I flat out told her. Her laughter almost took out my hearing. In my head, I tacked on, I want someone who makes my clit tingle the way Ethan did at our graduation party.
That’s when Austyn chooses to remind me, “You go to a university whose name has the word ‘virtue’ in it.”
“Trust me, that isn’t as much of a problem as one might think,” I informed her dryly. Then I proceeded to tell her about the number of condom wrappers in the bathroom every Sunday morning and her laughter again pealed out.
“So…your problem?”
A pair of green eyes flash from the depths of my memory as he knelt in front of me at my high school graduation. “Huh?”
“Hello, Fallon. Why aren’t you getting any?”
“What is my problem, you ask?”
“Oh, please tell me.” I heard her comforter rustle as she got comfortable.
“I can suck a dick and finger a man’s ass without breaking a sweat. But ask a man to manage to suck my nipple at the same time he’s fingering me—it’s a no go. They can’t manage two body parts at once. And we let these men operate heavy machinery?”
Austyn screamed with laughter, her beautiful voice panting out my name, “Fal-Fal…oh my god.”
“I mean, let’s face it. Most of them can barely have their heads between our legs and remember to slide their fingers in and they’re incompetent.”
After I proceeded to tease her out of her bad mood due to her own man not calling her, I buried the hurt feelings I felt when I reminded myself Ethan had forgotten all about me and his promise to be there for me when I drawled, “I’ll continue to hold out hope your uncle is secretly pining away for me because the pickings around Seven Virtues are slim.”
Austyn snorted before changing the topic. What she didn’t realize is my ideal man is someone I can lean on, someone who isn’t afraid to take on me and my attitude. Ethan Kensington was the current bar, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a man out there who couldn’t top him.
Or that I shouldn’t be looking for him, according to my mother.
Talk about a shock—I about passed out when I was helping my mother unpack my dorm room at the beginning of the semester and during a conversation where she was placing photos around my mid-year dorm room, she casually mentioned how much Ethan reminded her of my father.
Lifting one of me, Austyn, and Ethan, she mused, “There’s just something about him—whether it’s that silent strength or his great butt—that is certainly attention grabbing.”
Choking on my own breath, I managed, “Mom, are you involved with Ethan?” Because if that was the case, I’d sure as fuck be abandoning my new dream and joining my best friend in New York. School or no school, I wouldn’t be able to be around the man I’ve been crushing on for well over a year if he and my mother were getting horizontal together. Fuck, is that why he stopped texting me? Has he been texting her instead? I turn around and study her face to find her studying me intently.
Objectively, my mother’s a beautiful woman. About ten years older than Ethan, there’s nothing to stop a relationship between the two of them.
Nothing at all.
Her wise eyes met mine. “No, I was merely making an observation, darling.”
All the air seemed to rush back into the room at once.
“But Fallon…” she began.
I held up a hand. “I already know what you’re going to say.”
She placed the frame down and came closer. Taking my hand, she led me to my bed before sitting on it and pulling me down next to her. Cupping my cheek, she said, “You remind me so much of myself at your age.”
I opened my mouth to thank her, but I was flabbergasted when she continued, “My interest in older men was because I didn’t have a good opinion about myself, Fallon. My home life wasn’t the best. I was determined to escape it. It made me feel older than I actually was. Maybe that’s what attracted your father.”
“Or maybe it’s because you’re you—remarkable, smart, and gorgeous,” I corrected her.
Her eyes were unfocused as she recalled memories I’ll never have. “Your father was my everything. He had this way about him that made me feel like I was more than enough. He was willing to give up?—”
I reached up and covered her hand with my own. “What did Dad give up?”
Her eyes blinked back into focus. “That’s a story for a different time.”
“Mama?”