Page 97 of Not How I Saw That Going

“I’m dying here. How gorgeous is it?”

“Umm…” My voice raises as I stare at the awkward ball gown. I’d need at least a dozen forest animals to fit me into that thing, or to get me out. “On a scale of one to Blake Lively, it’s…hideous.”

“What?” Maddie asks. “You’ve been out of the game for a while; it’s probably just the new fashion. Turn on the camera so I can see it.”

I do as she says and wait for her response.

She gasps. “What is that? A giant loofah?”

I twist my head a bit. “It would look better as a loofah.”

“I’m sorry, Lyn. I thought it was a good sponsor. Apparently, not all good things come from the internet.”

“Finally, we can agree on something.” I lean against the doorframe, my visions of a fairytale night billowing up in smoke. “I’ll just leave it here and see if the mailman can return it.” As ridiculous as this whole thing is, I am actually looking forward to dressing up for one night and pretending I don’t always wear smashed macaroni on my backside.

“Return what?” Lisa asks, popping her head out of the door.

“This monstrosity,” I say, motioning to the box.

She hobbles around the box and looks inside, then gasps and staggers back a step.

I grab her elbow before she falls. I know it is bad, but I didn’t know it’s give-your-mother-a-heart-attack bad.

“What is that thing?”

“A dress someone sent me. I’ll be sending it back.”

“I think we should burn it.” She narrows her eyes at the mass of tulle like the dress has somehow offended her. “I’m not sure who would ever punish the world with such an awful thing.”

“It’s okay. I won’t wear it.” I pat her arm reassuringly.

She shakes her head and looks at me. “Your beauty would be wasted in that dress.” She walks around the box, pulling out pieces of the dress and looking at the tag. “When is your event, dear?”

“Next Saturday night.” Which means I have a week to find a dress that doesn’t scream “shower accessory.”

She clutches my arm. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll be back that afternoon.” She turns and hobbles off as I stare after her.

What did she mean?

“Okay, who was that?”

I jump at Maddie’s voice in my hand. “I think that was my fairy godmother.”

Thirty Four

Ward

“Ilikeyourgirl,”Caleb says as I’m getting ready to take Lyndi and Crew to the carnival.

Crew asked me on this date tonight. I should have, like a real man, asked Lyndi on a proper date, but I guess for now, her son is doing a good job of keeping us together.

Me too.I’m still too scared to admit it out loud. The second I do, I fear it will all go up in flames. I don’t know how she feels after our kiss, but to me, our relationship no longer feels fake. Nothing with Lyndi has ever been fake, and for one night, I want to treat her like I would a real girlfriend.

“Just be careful, man,” Caleb says.

I pick up my wallet and keys and look at him. He told me the exact opposite a couple weeks ago. “You know you’re great at sending mixed messages.”

He grabs a coke from the fridge and leans back against it. “When you lose your heart to her, make sure you’re ready. You only just got it back.”