Page 9 of Not How I Saw That Going

Gummy candies were my kryptonite during pregnancy. “He was a little yellow,” I admit, but that was completely unrelated to my gummy obsession.

“Still the cutest baby I’ve ever seen,” Maddie says, delicately scooting Cheerios off the couch and into her hand to throw away. “Even if he is the messiest kid on the planet.”

I do clean, I swear. But no matter what I do, it never seems to last. Crew can destroy a room faster than I can open my eyes in the morning.

Maddie wrinkles her nose as she pulls something brown and lumpy from the sink that I don’t remember putting there.

“Please don’t clean my house. I’ll get to it tonight when Crew’s asleep.” And lose two of the six hours of sleep I usually get.

I’m so tired already.

“I’m just helping a little. Do yourself a favor and go to bed early tonight.”

“I chose sleep last night,” I say, gathering up the Legos that take up the entire living room floor. Not that it’s much of a living room. The whole apartment is smaller than the family room in my mom’s house. But a tiny living space means less cleaning, so you know, glass half-full.

“Are you about ready?” she asks as she begins loading the dishwasher.

I swear I just did that last week.

“Ready for what?”

She stops and turns to me. “We’re going shopping. Remember?”

My breath speeds up. I don’t have extra money to spend on things I don’t need.

“I need a new dress for a date tomorrow,” Maddie clarifies, and my shoulders relax. I don’t have to buy anything.

“Right.” I put the lid on the Lego box and search for my shoes. “Which guy is this again?” Maddie has no shortage of men falling at her feet. The perks of being half Brazilian with a killer bod. I still don’t know why she chose the gangly redhead in school to befriend, but I’m not complaining.

“Matt,” she says, then frowns. “I think.”

I roll my eyes and strip off my shirt.

“What is that?” Maddie screeches, pointing at my chest.

I look down, assuming I dripped coffee and maybe a few Swedish fish down my shirt, but there’s nothing out of normal.

“What?” I start rooting through the clean laundry basket at the end of the couch. At least I hope it’s the clean one.Did I wear that shirt Wednesday?

“That piece of hideous fabric trying to hold up your boobs. Please tell me you own a better bra than that.”

My hand hits a bra in the basket and I hold it up. “Of course. This is my good one.”

Maddie plucks it from my hands and throws it across the room like it’s on fire. “That is not a good anything. You are getting a new bra. Today.”

“Maddie, no,” I whine. Bras are expensive and I wouldn’t even know what size I was if I tried. The last time I bought a bra was when I was pregnant with Crew. Those babies got me through the eighteen months of nursing and beyond. They will never die, just like the obnoxious fly that’s been stuck in my bedroom light fixture, keeping me up for the last three nights. I swear I can hear it buzzing whenever I close my eyes.

“No excuses. I’m buying you one. Happy birthday,” she says, turning and walking toward the bedrooms.

My birthday isn’t for six months.

I take a deep breath. Accepting Maddie’s help doesn’t make me any less of a mother.

“Come on, Crew. Mommy needs a new bra,” Maddie says, returning with my sleepy boy cuddled into her side. It’s too late to warn her about the chocolate he was eating earlier.

“Maddie! Shh! I don’t want him to repeat that!” I hurry and pick a shirt from the pile and throw it on.

“He won’t repeat it,” Maddie says, already halfway out the door.