Page 57 of Not How I Saw That Going

I freeze and back away slowly. So that was the whiff I was getting a moment ago.

Lyndi’s eyes bulge. “Crew!”

“Come on, Mollee.” My mom rushes forward to save my niece from the pee-stained child. She glares at me as she passes. “We will discuss this later.”

“And on that note...” Lyndi pulls Crew in the opposite direction.

“Call me when you get home safe… darling,” I call after her.

Darling? Am I eighty?

Lyndi glares at me with a shake of her head, making the black wig fall to the left. Why on earth is she wearing a wig?

“That’s your girlfriend?” Sophie asks the second Lyndi is gone, though not out of earshot. I’d almost forgotten Sophie was here.

“Sure is.” I shift my weight and shake my head to orient myself.Well, that was fun.Time to head home.

“She’s the woman you picked over me?” Sophie all but yells. “She has a kid! A kid that pees himself.”

“Yeah. He’s cute, isn’t he?” I turn away from her.

“Come on, be reasonable. You can’t bring her to the gala.”

I stop, swiveling slowly. Lyndi has as much right to attend the gala as anyone else. “I can. And I will.” I turn and stomp away.

Dang it, now I have to go.

“Don’t do something stupid, Ward,” she warns as I walk toward my truck.

I’m afraid I already did.

Twenty One

Lyndi

“Icouldkillyou,”I say as soon as Ward answers the phone.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he rushes to say.

“I had to meet your mom. And your… what was she? Some ticked off ex?” It wouldn’t have been so embarrassing if I hadn’t been wearing the wig and sunglasses I’d only just acquired. I looked like the before photos on thePrincess Diaries, the one where her glasses are messed up and she’s mid-sneeze. Which, I guess, is better than being recognized as my alternative. Though I almost was.

He hesitates. “Something like that.”

I take a deep breath.

“Why were you wearing a wig?” he asks.

“I’ll ask the questions here.” I’m not about to admit he might have been a teensy bit right about how creepy it is to be noticed by strangers.

“Can I come in now?” he asks.

I move to my front door, the one that’s been locked between us for the last ten minutes.

“Did you finish counting all the hallway tiles?” I might have given him a punishment I give to Crew on occasion.

“Yes. There’s six hundred and fifty-eight.”

I have no way of knowing if he’s right. I’m not about to go check. “Are there really?”