Page 90 of Not How I Saw That Going

She moves fast.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you behind that big bucket.” She grimaces at my very average-sized cleaning bucket.

I fake a gasp. “I guess my magic classes are paying off.”

She fixes me with a part glare and part “you’re insane” look. “Huh?”

I lift a shoulder. “I can teach you how to disappear if you’d like.” Oops. Did I say that out loud?

Sophie smirks and her eyes do some weird intimidation thing, but it doesn’t have the desired effect because her eyelashes are so huge she can’t seem to keep them up. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Are you cleaning the fire station too? It would be a great charitable effort to add to your already impressive resume.” Is my voice literally dripping with sarcasm?

Her eyes skim over my body and she pinches up her nose like I stink. I haven’t even cleaned the toilets yet.

“How does anyone want you?” she sneers. With that parting shot, she turns and leaves.

I’m a mom. I know how to take criticism with the best of them. No one is more honest than a young child. But her comment doesn’t bounce off me. It lands where she intended it, in the hole my mom carved into my heart, the one Rodney took over, hollowing it out into a mine, leaving me empty and vulnerable.

“Hey.”

The voice startles me and I drop my bucket. It lands on my toe and I hiss in pain as the bottles of cleaner fly out in different directions. Only having one good hand really sucks.

“I’m sorry.” Ward bends, retrieving my bucket and all the supplies. But instead of handing it over, he keeps it in his grasp. “How are you feeling?”

Like a fake girlfriend who is for real upset.

“Fine.”

“How’s Crew?”

“He’s fine too.”

Ward nods and looks at his feet.Does he not know the secret encoded message behind the wordfine?

He moves the bucket back and forth between his arms like he can’t tell where it should go. “How’s the toilet?”

Nothing sticks the period on the fake girlfriend question quite like that.

“Still flushing.” Is this seriously the conversation we are having right now?

“Good.”

Well, this has been a blast.

“I better get started.” I reach for the bucket.

“Of course.” He hands it back and my heart breaks a little. Would it be so hard for him to fight me on something for once? Or to fight for me? Right here, right now, he could have pulled me close and sold this fake relationship to Sophie, and anyone else watching, but he cowered in the corner.

The next relationship I get into better have the wordrealin it.

My back is one scrub away from being stuck in a hunched position for the rest of my life. I lean back, resting my weight on my heels and relaxing my casted hand on my thigh. Can oil come out of cement, or have I been scrubbing this spot for nothing? I pull out my phone and check Maddie’s most recent message.

Maddie:Crew is asleep. I’ll bring him over tomorrow morning.

Sounds good to me. I can barely keep my eyes open at this point. Somehow it doesn’t stop me from switching tabs and opening Facebook. I search my mother’s name, something I only allow myself to do a few times a year, usually when I’m feeling particularly down. Today is the lucky day. This is the only connection I still have with her, pathetic as it may be.

I click on her familiar icon.