Page 127 of Not How I Saw That Going

I tuck my hands into my pockets. “You’re right.”

He scratches his chin, then looks out the windows behind me.

“I should be doing a lot more than that. Like not pushing you away every time I doubt myself.”

He looks back at me, allowing me time to gather my thoughts.

“I’ve always felt inadequate. My mom and Rodney made sure of it. I tried so hard to move past it, to pretend their words didn’t affect me, but I let them occupy space in my mind anyway.” I grab a rag off the counter, needing something to hold, or strangle. “I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough for you, either.”

There’s an intense look in his eyes and he steps toward me. “It kills me that anyone in your life ever told you that, and that I didn’t do a good enough job convincing you otherwise.”

“No.” I stop him. “It’s never been on you to fix that about me.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Sometimes we have to fight our own dragons?”

I eye him, a little confused by the analogy. “Yes. I can’t say I’ll never doubt myself again. I’m not sure if those pieces of me will ever fully go away, but I want to try because you make me believe it’s possible.” He opens his mouth to respond, but I’m not finished yet. “I’m sorry I pushed you out of my and Crew’s lives. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it just him and me. But Crew needs more people in his life, not less.”

“I want to be in his life, and yours,” he says. “You’ve both changed me, Lyndi.” He takes another step closer. “On our first date, you asked me what my biggest fear is. It’s this: I’m afraid I’ll let the people I care about down.” I try to jump in, tell him he will never let me down, but he doesn’t let me. “I believed everything that went wrong years ago was all my fault, but you were right. I needed to forgive myself. You have helped me find the beauty in the brokenness.” Another step closer. “I love you, Lyndi.”

His confession sets me free. Not to find myself, I’m still working on that. Turns out it’s not a one-and-done kind of thing. But it sets me free to take a chance and open my heart to him. For real this time.

I pull a tiny piece of paper—the fortune from his cookie—out of my pocket and hold it out to him. His forehead scrunches. He takes it, opening it slowly.

“Is a realrelationship in our future?” he asks, his voice gravelly.

“I hope so,” I whisper, closing the distance between us.

His hands slide around my waist, and here it is. Here comes the kiss I’ve been dreaming about since I last saw him.

“I have a question,” he says, before I can plant my lips on his.

Grrr. Why does he always do this to me? “Okay, but be quick about it.” I play with the dark hair curling around his ear.

“When I came to your house to apologize the first time, you told me you accepted apologies in two forms. I’m bound to have to apologize again at some point.” He brushes the hair out of my eyes, his fingertips trailing down the side of my face and neck. “How else can I apologize to you?”

I look eagerly at his lips and not so subtly bite my own. “I think you know.”

I don’t wait for his kiss, I take it. And I give mine back to him with a promise that I’ll keep him in mine and Crew’s life. That no matter how broken I may be, I won’t run away from him, but to him.

His kiss says even more.

He lifts me up and sets me on the counter.

“Food and kisses.” He whispers against my lips. “I can work with that.”

I can work with this.

The End

Epilogue

Lyndi

SixMonthsLater

I yawn as I drop my bag in the entryway, like a barbarian, according to Ward. Good thing he still loves me. It’s been a long day, but a good one. I’m almost done with my first attempt at a dress, but I’ve poked myself so many times I have a Band-Aid on every fingertip. I’ve found my passion in sewing. Whether that’s reflected in the dress is yet to be determined. I’ve even expanded my Etsy shop to include more jewelry options and it has taken off. I’ve already been interviewing assistants to help keep up with the demand. And last week I bought a new—used—car, that doesn’t have duct tape holding up the rearview mirror.

Crew barely stops to remove his shoes before sprinting to the room Ward has set up for him with more toys than we have in our own apartment. I wander to the kitchen. I have about ten seconds until Ward turns away from the oven and looks at me, and I use every one of those seconds to study him. He’s just as handsome as he was the day he saved Crew from a grocery store fridge. He’s saved me more times than I can count.