Page 54

Three weeks.Three long fucking weeks since I’ve seen Kat. I have to keep myself from just bursting through her door and begging her to listen to me. The pain in my chest grows with each day I’m away from her. I don’t even stay at my apartment anymore; I crash with Austin. Seeing her will only tear me apart more, and I don’t want to risk further upsetting her.
Vicki and Austin keep me up to date on how she’s doing. From what I hear, it’s not good. She’s isolated herself from everyone, including her parents. The only person she trusts enough to see is Vicki. At least she allows Vicki to help, so she hasn’t completely shut down.
Vicki informed Austin that Kat isn’t eating much or sleeping. She barely gets up to shower. So, Vicki has been going over there every other day just to make sure she’s getting a shower in or making her eat something. Vicki said if she gets her to eat, it’s very little. Just enough to get by. She said Kat has lost a lot of weight and her skin is even more pale than it normally is.
“Hey, Hawthorne, you with me?” Austin looks over to me from his desk. We’re back at the station, filing some reports for the day.
“Yeah, sorry. What’s up?” The station is buzzing with people coming and going. Noise that drowns out my thoughts. Phones are ringing, chairs are scraping against the floor, and cases being talked about. Noise.
“You need to do something.” He looks at me. I know what he is talking about, but I ask anyway.
“About?”
“Kat. She’s falling fast, man. You need to go over there and talk to her. Do something.” He goes back to facing his monitor. “Stop her free fall, man.”
I rub my thumb across my bottom lip. He’s right. Something needs to happen. Both of us are falling apart without each other. Misunderstandings are impeding the truth.
“You ready to go?” Austin stands up and grabs his keys off his desk.
I let out a sigh and nod. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
While I drive us back to Austin’s place, memories of Kat next to me in bed, hearing her laugh, and making love to her pop into my head. I miss her so much. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m completely myself. I’m half existing. That’s when it hits me. I need to do something drastic to get her to listen to me and to get her back.
As we continue to drive, I form a plan in my head. I’m going to need help, though. So, when we pull up to Austin’s house, I jump out of my truck and run up to him before he can even fully get out the passenger side.
“Hey, you think you can get Vicki and we can all meet up to discuss something?” I ask, out of breath.
He raises a curious eyebrow. “Yeah, like when?”
I glare at him and my eye brows lift upwards. “Like now. I need to do this now.” My voice rushes out, coming out as if I’m yelling at him.
“Okay, I’ll call her.” Austin taps the hood of his car, nodding back towards his seat. “Get in. We can head to the wing place.”
I head over and hop in. He sends off a text to Vicki, and she responds almost immediately.
“Okay, she’s in. Let’s go.” He starts up his truck again, and we head over.
We sit down at a table once we get there and order some drinks. Vicki comes strolling in just as the drinks arrive.
“Bryce,” Vicki eyebrows pinch together as she nods her acknowledgment. I know she isn’t happy with me. This will finally give me a chance to explain that I’m not the bad guy
“Vicki, listen. Coming here was for a couple of reasons. First, I want to explain what happened. I made Austin swear not to tell you so I could get the chance to tell you, just like I would like the chance to tell Kat. Second, I need to get her back.”
“Why? So you can keep destroying her? So you can keep making her your side piece? She’s a fragile person, Bryce.” Vicki’s words slice at me like knives.
I speak over the lump in my throat, “If anyone knows how fragile she is, it’s me. I never meant to destroy her. There was no way for me to know that Emma was going to show. Never would I ever want to cause Kat any pain! I love Kat! I fucking love her!” My voice rises with each sentence.
Vicki tries to hide her surprise at my confession. Instead of acknowledging what I just said, she moves on to whatever thought is in her head.
“But you did, Bryce. You hurt her to where I can’t even look at her anymore. She’s fading away to nothing! You say you love her, but you used her as a place holder!”
“Emma’s my ex! Emma’s … my ex.” My voice falters. My head drops to my hands. “She was able to get my parents to tell her where I lived by telling them she had some stuff of mine she had to ship back to me. I never invited her out here. She was hell-bent on trying to get me back, and she had some weird idea we were still together. She freaked Kat out, and then Kat ran. I kicked Emma out when I got home, making it clear that it would never happen with us.” I take a breath. My mouth is dry, and the water the waitress dropped off isn’t helping. I feel like I swallowed cotton balls.
“Go on.” Vicki urges. She squints at me, folding her hands under her chin, propping her elbows on the table.
“The night Kat went to the hospital, I … I was so tired that I passed out on the couch. I hadn’t slept much, and any sleep I was getting wasn’t enough. That night,” I run my hand through my hair, sighing. “I’d passed out; I was so exhausted. There was a dream that Kat and I were doing things together. It felt so real, like she was there, talking to me. Like she was touching me. Of course, I was right on both accounts. Kat catching Emma and me, that was what woke me up out of my dream. It was only then that I looked down to find Emma getting me off.” That sick feeling creeps back into my stomach.
“So, this Emma just came in and was sucking your dick and you had no idea?” Vicki demands, obviously disgusted.