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I look over at Kat and point to her. “Yep. She’s the lucky one.” Kat gets off the bed and stands next to me but doesn’t let go of my hand. That makes me smile.
The doctor comes over to her and starts rattling off the things she needs to look out for. If I get a headache that gets worse or won’t go away, any slurred speech, constant and repeated vomiting or nausea, differently sized pupils. Kat is diligent and attentive, taking metal notes to make sure she gets everything the doctor is saying.
Then, a thought comes to mind. She gets to be my nurse. I smile like a Cheshire cat. Kat turns to glance at me and gives me a funny look. She has no clue why I’m now grinning from ear to ear.
Once the doctor fills her in, he gets me discharged and eventually, we leave the hospital. Kat is super quiet as she drives us home. I can tell her mind is moving a thousand miles a minute.
Finally, we pull up to the apartment complex and she gets me settled. It’s been a long day. I know she’s exhausted not just from waiting at the hospital but also from the emotional toll this took on her. I feel awful for that.
Kat sets me up in her bed so I can be comfortable. She brings me some water to help keep me hydrated, then gets under the blanket to snuggle in next to me.
I pull her close. She lays her head on my chest and holds on to me tightly. She wraps her leg around mine and lets out a loud sigh.
“Thank you, Kat.” I tell her. The words don’t express how thankful I truly am to her, though. I don’t think words ever could.
“For what?” She tilts her head up to look at me.
“For racing down there to come see me. Just … thank you.” I give her a soft smile.
We lie there quietly for a few minutes when I look down and see she is staring at the wall next to me.
“What are you thinking about, Kitty Kat?” I tap her head. Kat is completely in her own world a lot of the time. Usually worried about things.
“What?”
“I can see the wheels turning, so what is going on in that head of yours?” I repeat.
Kat moves closer to me and lets out a shuddering breath. She grips my shirt.
“When … when Austin called and said there had been an accident … I got so scared, Bryce. My panic and anxiety … I just feared the worst. There was no way to control it. Counting didn’t help, Vicki didn’t help. I needed you.” I can feel her entire body shaking against mine.
My shirt soon becomes wet, and I realize she’s crying.
“These last couple months have been the best in my life. I just t-thought I was going to l-lose you. I didn’t want to lose y-you.” she blubbers, sniffling.
“Shh. It’s okay. I’m okay.” I run my hand through her hair. “I know it could have been worse, but it wasn’t. So, let’s be thankful for that. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you. Just breathe.”
Kat weeps as I hold her. I do what I can to calm her and assure her I’m okay. Doing what I do, it’s not a walk in the park. Being a cop is a very stressful job. In an instant, my life could be over. I have to use my training and instincts every minute of every day.
Today, my life could have ended. It’s a scary truth. Even though I’m always aware of my surroundings, I didn’t hear or see that SUV coming. I’d only looked up to see what was unfolding when Austin called my name. I’d just walked to the door to get the driver to roll down their window. It was within seconds that all that happened. If that SUV hit differently, or if I stood in a different spot, that outcome could have been deadly for me.
Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can really do to put Kat at ease. All I can do is assure her I’m here and that I’m fine.
This moment, however, just reinforces how much I love having her next to me. I wasn’t mad at Austin for calling my her and Vicki. He had called my parents first, but there wasn’t much they could do with them being in Florida. Had I been conscious, she would have been my first call. I just knew me not being able to talk to her could have triggered an attack, which it did. Thankfully, Vicki could get to her and bring her to me.
Eventually, Kat stops crying, and her breathing evens out. I look down and see that she is sleeping. She is beautiful; a goddess. I’m lying next to a woman who is divine. A woman who wears her heart on her sleeve. Even though people have let her down in the past, she’s been herself with me. Kat opens up to me. She trusts me. I will never take that trust for granted.
“I remember saying your name before I passed out.” I whisper to her.
She’s still sleeping, and I know she can’t hear me, so it makes all of this easier to say.
“All I could think of was you. That I needed to get back to you, Kat. When I came to, I fought the medics in the ambulance, the doctors, and nurses to let me go so I could get to you. Eventually, Austin told me you were on your way. As much as I didn’t want you to see me like that, Kat, it relieved me that you were on your way. A sense of calmness came over me.”
I caress her hair, smiling slightly.
“When you came into the room, I knew. My heart tightened the moment I laid eyes on you. Hell, I knew a while ago. Maybe I’m just a dumbass for ignoring all the signs, all my feelings, just everything. I just can’t ignore it anymore.”
Looking down at her, my smile turns wider. Kat’s lips slightly part, and her breaths slow. Every now and then a soft snore escapes her.