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It isn’t Kat I’m staring at between my legs. It’s Emma. Emma is sucking me off. What the actual fuck? Air escapes my lungs as I panic. While I try to assess what’s happening, I look up and see who’s behind Emma. Standing there watching is Kat, pale as a fucking ghost. She’s crying.
Fuck. This has to be the nightmare. Fuck. My eyes are coming out of my head, trying to process the surrounding scene.
Then, Kat abandons where she stands. Without me even being able to fix this, she disappears. Again.
“What the fuck, Emma? Get the fuck off me!” I sit up and jump off the couch. Emma simply sits there with a smile on her face like she’s won. Reaching down, I put myself back into my pants, getting angrier by the minute.
“What? I was giving you some special kisses, baby. You were enjoying it.” Emma bats her eyes, looking through her long lashes at me.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? How the fuck did you even get in here?” I’m across the living room, and my voice is booming. There’s a good possibility my neighbors can hear me.
“Well, you had an extra key hanging on the key ring, so I just took it.” She gets up and saunters towards me. “We were getting back together. Since I need to move in, I needed a key, Bryce.”
“Stay the fuck back. Are you out of your fucking mind? You are off your fucking rocker, Emma. Seriously, you need to seek help. Get the fuck out. Give me the key and get the fuck out. No, you know what? Keep the fucking key; I’ll change the locks. Get. The. Fuck. Out.” I emphasize every word. I need her to understand her and I are nothing.
“Whatever. Call me when prude girl won’t take you back. She’ll never be enough for you. Just remember I said that. What we had was good, Bryce.” She shrugs and throws the key at me. “Just remember how great of a job I just did sucking your cock. You can have that every night, baby.”
“Get out!” I roar. With that, she jumps back a bit. I’ve never raised my voice like that to her. Never have I ever raised my voice to a woman, but today … Today is an exception. She violated me and took advantage of me. I can see the fear in her eyes as she gets her shit and leaves.
Once I know she’s gone from the complex, I run down to Kat’s place. When I get there, the door is slightly open, so I walk in.
“Kat? Kat, please let me explain.” There is no response, so I continue, “I was sleeping. She stole a copy of my key. Please, I didn’t know she did that. What she was doing to me, I had no clue, Kat. I promise. I was dead asleep.” Listening in the entryway, all I hear is silence.
Something doesn’t feel right. That feeling comes back to me. There’s something very wrong here.
“Kat? Kat, I’m coming in. I just want to make sure you are okay. If you can hear me, just say something so I know you’re okay.” I announce. When I hear nothing, I continue into the apartment and keep talking. “Okay, Kat. I’m walking into your room. Just answer me if you’re in there. I’ll turn and go back to the entryway.” Still nothing. There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I slowly walk into the bedroom, but she’s not there. Turning, I walk out and look into the kitchen and see that is empty too. I head into the living room, and that’s when I spot the feet on the floor by the couch.
“Kat!” I run over to her. I check for a pulse; it’s weak, but it’s there. “Baby, I am going to call for help.” I take out my phone and dial those three numbers. “Just stay with me, Kitty Kat. Just stay with me.” Softly, I run my hand over the top of her head. I feel like my heart is beating so fast I might need help too.
I lean forward and place my head next to hers as the phone rings. “I am so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry.”
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”
Chapter 22
Katrina
It’s beentwo weeks since they took me to the hospital. Two weeks since I saw Bryce and Emma together. Two weeks. Only two weeks. Yet it seems like it was just yesterday that I walked in on Emma blowing Bryce. Worst of all, he had his hands in her hair, enjoying every moment.
My head constantly replays what I saw, like on a loop. During the day, I can fight it, but at night, it haunts me in my dreams. Sleep doesn’t come easy, and I fight it every chance I get because I don’t need to see them.
When I left Bryce’s apartment that day, I ended up passing out in mine. Turns out my blood pressure was low and there was dehydration. I’m so hurt and upset, food and water aren’t at the top of my list of things to worry about. Then of course, the panic attack on top of it all. Everything combined shut my body down. I’m thankful I had enough forethought to get as close as I could to the ground. It could have been worse if I had fallen from standing.
I remember nothing until I was in the ambulance. The paramedics said that Bryce would call my parents to let them know what happened. As soon as they said his name, everything faded away. My mind had gone back to replay the events that landed me in an ambulance, and my body went into shock again. I ended up passing out only to wake up in a hospital bed a short time later.
The nurses only allowed my parents and Vicki to come see me, per my request. That was it. I didn’t want Bryce anywhere near me. He would have taken advantage of my situation, being stuck in a bed and not having anywhere to go. So, I banned him. Bryce can go to hell.
The doctors came in, got my blood pressure back up, and gave me fluids. They also told me I needed to see someone about the panic attacks. They offered to put me on some medicine for the anxiety, but I declined. If I stay in my world, I’m fine. I just need to stick to what I know. My parents weren’t happy with that decision; they didn’t know how bad it had gotten. Honestly, my anxiety had actually gotten better when I was around Bryce. It just so happens that now, he also brings out the worst of it.
Eventually they let me go home under the care of Vicki and my parents. My mom and dad wanted me to come back to stay with them, but I insisted I go home. I just wanted my bed; I didn’t want to live in other people’s homes anymore. Vicki offered to stay with me for a couple days to make sure I was okay. I took her up on that offer just so my parents would be happy that I wasn’t going back to my place alone. Compromise.
Since then, though, I’ve been alone. Completely alone. I don’t call anyone, and I don’t text anyone. Vicki comes by just to make sure I’m alive because I won’t even respond to her texts. She sends my mom and dad updates, at least. The updates don’t change. Still sitting on the couch, not eating much, and not sleeping.
I won’t sleep in my bed. Bryce slept in my bed. We shared that bed together so many times. I just can’t get past the thought, and his aura is still on his side. When I get the motivation for it, I’ll order a new bed.
I hear a key go into the lock on the front door. For the first week, I got anxious because I thought it was Bryce. But he’s let me be. He’s left me alone, which I’m grateful for. Now, I just wish he’d leave me be when I close my eyes.