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“What? Seriously? Kat! That is awesome! How did you find out? Did you see him or something? Deets, now!” Her voice gets so high pitched, I need to pull the phone away from my ear. I put her on speaker and place the phone on the table.
I try mentally preparing myself for the conversation I’m about to have. I don’t know if Bryce living above me is awesome. Vicki might, once I tell her.
“Well, he saw me one day. Coming out of my apartment, I mean. While he was coming down from his,” I stayed silent for a moment, unsure how to say my next words. Rip the band-aid off, Kat. Rip it. “He lives in the apartment above me.”
I hear nothing for a second, and then my ears get assaulted with Vic’s screams of joy.
“That is divine intervention right there! Fuck, you havegotto be kidding me! Kat—that, right there is a sign.” she exclaims, all bubbly.
“A sign of what?” I retort. “All that’s a sign of is that I won’t get rid of him so easily. He knows where I live. He knows where I go to get my caffeine. I pretty much can’t avoid him now. I need to move. Preferably, out of state.”
“It’s a higher power pushing you to expand your horizons, dear. I mean, not only did they put you at OneShot, but they also put you in the same complex and in the same building. With him on top of you, in more ways than one.” She bursts out laughing.
I roll my eyes. “Okay, you’re no help. What am I supposed to do?”
“What do you mean ‘what am I supposed to do?’ You talk to him and get to know him.”
“Well, that’ll happen whether I want it to or not because somehow I let him talk me into hanging out together. He said he doesn’t care where, either. He just moved here, so he doesn’t know many people.” Honestly, I still want to talk to him. I just felt my anxiety getting bad, and I needed to get him to leave before I had a full-on panic attack.
What’s the real reason he wants to talk to me? Guys don’t really talk to me unless there’s a reason.
“Okay, that’s a good start. Look, in all seriousness, I know you get uncomfortable and that can lead to your attacks, but let’s look at this as a positive event. He wants to get to know you and hang out with you. He wants to be around you. That is a good thing, Kat.” Vicki replies thoughtfully.
“Except you forget my track record with guys. They don’t talk to me unless it’s some kind of evil, sick trick. Or they don’t stick around for long because I’m basically damaged goods. So, what? I’m going to be friends with him only to have him turn around and realize how sad I am?” It’s true. Most guys can’t put up with me not liking to go out as often as they do. Going out, simply makes me panic. I’m antisocial. I prefer to just stay inside, instead of being judged for being who I am.
“Okay, look, those guys were not worth it. Obviously. Don’t put this guy in the same category until you hang out with him. Find out what his deal is.” Her voice grows more serious the more she talks. I know she worries about me.
“Well, I’m sure that he’ll be back at some point. He did mention he was okay with sticking around here and hanging out. Guess all we can do is see where it goes. Please know that I’m not holding my breath.” I want to make it clear it can easily become a “I told you so” situation.
“Why not?”
“Because he’s this extremely good-looking cop who probably has Badge Bunnies throwing themselves at him. I, however, am an introvert homebody. Two opposite ends of the spectrum, Vic.” I stand and start pacing in front of my couch. I have no idea why I’m so worked up over this.
She groans into the phone. “Look, you need to calm down. I can hear you pacing from my car. So I’ll call you a little later. I have some errands to run. Want me to pick you up some condoms?” More giggles erupt, and I roll my eyes.
“Bye!” With that, I hang up the phone. I lay back on my couch, biting my lip.
Some people don’t understand the anxiety I get when I go out. When I was younger, I got bullied so badly that I just stay away from people now. They do nothing but tear you down. When I’m at OneShot Coffee, I don’t get the same anxiety that I usually do. Maybe it’s because everyone gets lost in their own conversations or their own work. It very well could be the atmosphere. I don’t know why I feel fine there, but I do. Well, I did. Until Officer Bryce and his fine ass came in for coffee.
Suddenly, I feel my phone go off in my pocket. It’s a text message from an unknown number. My brows furrow as I swipe it open. Then I see who it is.
Unknown: Hey, Kitty Kat. It’s Bryce. This is my number. Just wanted to text you, so you had it.
Me: Thanks.
I’m not sure what else I should say. Do I invite him over to hang out tomorrow? Wait for him to ask me to hang out? How does this work? This is why I don’t do these things. I don’t know what to do. I can already feel the panic rising in me. Wiping my hands on my pants, I shake off my insecurities and text him. I only need to sound normal.
Me: So, what are you up to? Or whatever…
Yeah, that sounds normal.
Bryce: Getting ready to go get some dinner. I was going to hit up Winger. It’s a wing place if you couldn’t guess. Do you want to go?
Me: Um.
Bryce: I don’t want to twist your arm. Lol. Seriously, if you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. Just thought we could hang out … as friends.
Me: Ok. Yeah, wings actually sound good.