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Dean clenched his eyes shut, chest heaving. “I know I fucked up, Sloane. I know I went too far, and I’msorry.”

Dean’s voice shattered on that final word, and Sloane saw his legs wobble. Ripping himself out of his stupor, Sloane lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Dean. The strength ran out of Dean completely, and he went loose in Sloane’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” Dean repeated.

Sloane shook his head, allowing Dean to collapse to the ground, safely held in Sloane’s arms. Seated on the floor, Dean burrowed himself into Sloane’s chest and let out a heartbreaking sob. Sloane wrapped him tighter in his arms, saying nothing as Dean cried his heart out, soaking Sloane’s undershirt with his tears.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, clutching one of the strongest people he knew, who had finally reached the end of his tether. Sloane knew it was just the weirdness and tension between them that had brought Dean to this point. Dean’s fingers dug into Sloane’s shoulders, pushing his face closer to his chest as he mumbled and cried to himself.

Little by little, Dean’s sobs broke into soft hiccoughs. Sloane ran a hand over his back, letting Dean push himself back so he could sit upright. Dean looked up toward the ceiling, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes before he spoke.

“Shortly after you returned to the States, the team I was with was sent out on a snatch-and-grab. All we needed to do was find the target, grab him, and get out. Simple, easy, the intel said we were clear to go without any issues. They were wrong.”

Dean opened his eyes, looking at Sloane with the most haunted expression he’d ever seen on the man’s face.

“Someone dropped the ball, or maybe the enemy just found out. Either way, they were waiting for us and caught us when we came through an abandoned village. We fought, but they hadus outnumbered, and they knew the area. Williams was down before we knew what was happening. He took a bullet right through the throat. Dragged him to cover, but he bled out while I tried to staunch the bleeding.”

Sloane watched, still holding him by the arms but no longer having to clutch onto him. Dean’s eyes had gone hazy as his mind faded into the past.

“Kennig and Heath got caught by an explosion, don’t know if it was a mortar or what. It’s Kennig I can still hear sometimes when I sleep. He didn’t go as quick as Heath. But I think most of all, I remember Mathews. Hit five times as we were retreating to the extraction point. He bled out on the copter on the way back. They said they had to drag me off him, drug me up, but I don’t remember.”

Sloane gently wiped a tear from Dean’s face as his friend continued to sit still, his body drained. Dean blinked at the touch, looking down at Sloane’s hand like he’d never seen it before. Dean closed his eyes, leaning his face forward until it rested, cupped in Sloane’s hand.

“I never thought I’d be able to tell the story again,” Dean whispered.

“I’m sorry,” Sloane said, rubbing his thumb over Dean’s cheek.

Dean shook his head. “No, it...hurts, but...worth it.”

There was nothing he could do to make Dean’s pain go away, but Sloane had known that from the moment he’d realized something else was wrong with Dean. The one thing he could do besides being there for his friend was to assuage his other fears.

“Dean,” Sloane said softly.

Dean’s eyes flashed open, shifting to Sloane’s face warily. “Yeah?”

Sloane smiled, giving Dean’s cheek a gentle squeeze. “You wereneverin danger of losing me, never.”

“Even after?—”

Sloane shook his head. “Never. I can’t tell you where my head is at about that exactly, not right at this moment. I still need a little time to think about it. But when it comes to you, I’m never unsure. Whatever I might feel about what happened, I will always want you to be a part of my life, so long as you want to be.”

Dean’s lip trembled. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m not walking away from you, Dean, and I won’t push you away either. We’ll figure this out once we’ve had some time to get our heads on straight.”

Dean’s lips trembled. “Not really all that straight, is it?”

Sloane chuckled, drawing Dean in for another tight hug. “Smartass.”

Dean burrowed his face in Sloane’s neck, nodding. “Thank you, Sloane.”

Sloane sat there, content to hold Dean for as long as the man needed him. He’d told Dean the truth; he didn’t know how he felt or where his head was, but he had Dean, and right now, that was enough.

But for Dean’s sake, he was going to have to figure it out soon.

DEAN

Dean fumbled with his phone, nearly dropping it on the floor. The clock on the front showed only a couple of minutes had passed, and Dean let out a low sigh. While he was more than confident he was doing the right thing, he was quickly discovering that the idea sounded more noble than it felt.