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But mostly, it was because he could sense, in every way, that this wasNickkissing him. It was in the familiar smells of aftershave and coffee. It was in the brush of Nick’s thumb, the bump of a small scar scraping over Matt’s jaw. It was how he breathed, heavier than Matt was used to, but the sound was so familiar.

This was Nick kissing him, Nick claiming him in a way Matt had never known. It was passion and heat, a desire built up by years of camaraderie and longing, and it was everything Matt had asked for when he requested the kiss.

And then it was over, and he was left taking a drunken stumble backward.

When he looked up at Nick, he saw something different. There was none of the panic and fear of the night before. It was replaced instead by naked want and lust. It was an expression he had never seen on Nick’s face, and he’d certainly never seen it aimed at him.

“Happy?” Nick asked, voice low and rough.

Matt let out a shaky laugh, reaching up to touch his bottom lip thoughtfully. In truth, he didn’t know what he was feeling. It felt so similar to the lust he’d felt in the past, but it was so different. Not because it was a guy he suddenly felt desire for but because it wasNick.

It was somehow weird and comforting, different and familiar. He had asked, and he had received. It had been a key inthe lock, making the walls in his head fall away with a cascading crash that had his head spinning.

“Never knew you were such a good kisser,” Matt said, closing his eyes.

“Am I now?” Nick asked.

Matt felt a ripple shudder through him at the husky tone. How the hell had he never heard Nick sound like that before?

Matt laughed lightly, stepping back to sit on the arm of the couch. “Yeah, you are. I can say that confidently now I’ve had personal experience. Is it,” Matt began, clearing his throat. “Is it all like that?”

Nick cocked his head. “Is what all like what?”

Matt laughed throatily. “Is everything past the kissing as...mind-blowing?

“Mind-blowing, huh?”

And there it was, the return of the fear, the worry. He could hear it in Nick’s voice. Matt looked up, seeing the uncertainty flit over Nick’s face as he turned his eyes to the floor.

“Yeah, mind-blowing,” Matt affirmed, hoping he sounded as confident as he felt.

“It can be,” Nick said quietly.

“Can be?”

“You’re telling me you’ve never been with a woman and had it be mind-blowing?”

Well, he certainly had, though he couldn’t say he’d ever kissed a woman and been left dumbstruck and wanting more with every inch of his being. So there were definitely differences, but he saw the logic.

“In a way,” Matt admitted.

“Same thing, really. Only difference with a guy is there’s less tits and more dick.”

The bluntness had Matt snickering. “Easy as that, huh?”

Nick looked up, pupils swollen, looking terrified and enthralled. “With you? It’s so goddamn easy and so goddamn hard.”

The easy joke about hardness disappeared in the face of Nick’s earnest plea. In a moment of insight, Matt understood what they were doing, what they had done, and what it could all mean. It could be everything Nick had ever dreamed of, or it could be the whim of a straight guy who was a little too willing to experiment.

And ah, how that last thought hurt Matt’s heart.

“I would haveneverasked you to do that unless I meant it,” Matt insisted.

Nick averted his eyes. “I know.”

Matt frowned, standing up and taking Nick’s face in his hands. “No, you listen. I would not have asked you to do that if I didn’t think it was okay. If I didn’t think it was right. If I wanted to find out if I was into dick, I’d have waited till we were back home and gone to the bar. I didn’t ask because it was a whim or because I felt bad. I asked because I wanted to feelyoukissing me, to feelyouwanting me.”

Nick looked up, eyes wary. “Yeah?”