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Matt smirked. “Not everyone has to think everything to death, you know.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m just saying, I thought about it. Still thinking about it.”

“About my...groan.”

Matt stepped closer, stopping half a foot from him. “Among other things, but yeah, that was one thing.”

“What else?” Nick asked hoarsely.

Matt chewed his bottom lip, catching Nick’s attention. “Can I ask you something?”

Nick nodded slowly. “Anything.”

Matt looked up, eyes wide and wondering. “Do it again?”

“Groan?” Nick asked stupidly.

Matt reached out, hands stopping halfway between them. “Kiss me.”

The Christmas music became a distant hum in the background, and Nick felt his stomach twist. “What?”

Matt took a deep breath. “Kiss me again. But this time, don’t do it like you have to be quick, like you have to just, get it out. Kiss me like you mean it.”

“Why?” Nick whispered.

“Because I want you to,” Matt answered simply.

Because, of course, it was simple. Because, of course, that’s just how it was for him.

Maybe it could mean more, maybe it wouldn’t. Ultimately, what mattered wasn’t that Nick was being asked to do the one thing he’d wanted to do for so long. What mattered was that Matt was asking him. Not to indulge Nick, not for curiosity,because Matt would never be that cruel, but because he wanted to.

For a moment, he thought he wouldn’t be able to. After all the years of desire and wishing, Nick faltered. To do it in a moment of panic and intense desire was one thing, but to try it when Matt was standing before him, willing it to happen? It felt as though the entire world had come crashing onto his shoulders, demanding what he so sorely wished he could give.

Make or break, this was the moment, or at least it felt like it.

Matt reached out, taking his hand gently and squeezing it. “It’s just me, Nick. Just you and me.”

A shudder ran through Nick and he knew it was all the motivation he was going to get. He reached out with his other hand, grasping Matt’s face. The stubble from the night before was still there, thicker and less prickly. For a moment, he savored the touch of Matt’s skin against his, drinking in the sensation of having him there with him.

Matt leaned into the touch with practiced ease despite how strange it should have been. Nick leaned forward, pulling Matt toward him. There was only a moment of hesitation before their lips touched, as part of him reared back, afraid of what was to come.

And then he pushed it away and gave them both what they wanted.

At first, all he could think was that he was kissing Matt, not the friendly peck on the forehead or cheek, and not the hasty, disastrous kiss of the night before, but a real kiss. There was the press of lips against his, neither moving as they stood there, locked in a singular moment of pure experience.

MATT

There was the sensation of skin meeting skin, their lips pressing together. Then came the warmth radiating off Nick’s body like it always seemed to. Following that came the faint smell of soap and coffee and something he thought might be the residual sharp scent of Nick's aftershave. There was the brush of Nick’s unshaven face against his and the cup of his fingers against Matt’s jaw.

And then hemoved.

Nick’s lips parted, spreading Matt’s, and he deepened the kiss. He felt Nick’s tongue brush over his bottom lip, and suddenly, the tingle became a surge of electricity through his limbs. He didn’t even notice the low noise that bubbled up from his throat, but he did pay special attention to the way Nick’s grip on his jaw tightened in response.

Reaching up, Matt wound his arm around Nick’s neck, pulling him down into the kiss to make it as deep as possible. It wasnothinglike the women he’d kissed. Even though he understood that at the end of the day, it was all passion and need given form. The difference was in the brush of their five o’clock shadow, grinding as Matt turned his head.

It was in the way he could feel himself relinquish control of the kiss, as he’d never done with anyone before. It was the hardness of Nick’s body pressed against his, none of the softness of his exes. Hell, it was even in the fact that as their bodies met, he could feel Nick’s cock straining against his jeans. Inexplicably, for the first time in Matt’s life, the realization of another man’s excitement was arousing.