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But loving him meant putting himself and his private life at risk. Troy lived out in the open, free and clear of worry or fear,but that wasn’t Oscar’s life. It was too easy to become enamored by Troy and to let the man draw him into his way of living. It probably shouldn’t have taken the kiss, but Oscar realized then just how badly he wanted the other man.

Oscar closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly to jostle the thoughts free from his brain. No, they couldn’t revisit the past. They couldn’t fall into one another and get swept away. They were better off the way they were.

TROY

Glancing up at the clock, Troy fidgeted with a pen before returning his attention to the screen. He was supposed to be going through the most recent reports they’d done and making sure everything was accurate, but his mind wouldn’t focus. Whenever he tried to force his mind to focus on the names and details on the screen, his mind jerked back to Oscar.

“Are you going to glare at the computer all day or actually do something with it?” Dean asked from behind him.

Troy grunted. “I’m trying, okay?”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“What, only a penny? That’s kind of cheap, don’t you think?”

“Your thoughts are a dime a dozen, which seems fair.”

Troy frowned. “I’m pretty sure you’re mixing your phrases and also just insulted me worse than before.”

“Hm, maybe.”

Troy turned to face his friend with a smirk. “Sounds like I’m not the only one who’s a little out of it.”

Dean rolled his eyes, never pulling his attention from his tablet. “Don’t try to turn the tables on me. You’re the one over there zoning out over paperwork.”

Troy groaned. “You know I hate paperwork.”

“Yep, but it’s gotta be done.”

Troy stared at the screen before finally muttering, “He’s avoiding me.”

“Who’s avoiding you?” Dean asked.

“Oscar.”

It had been days since he’d seen the man, let alone spoken to him. Troy hadn’t exactly gone out of his way to hunt Oscar down and try to get answers out of him. After the quick and furtive kiss they shared, Troy was left wondering what he should do.

On the one hand, he most certainly wanted to see where that kiss was supposed to go or what it meant. He still felt a little dizzy at the thought of Oscar kissing him so suddenly, and with all the desperation and heartfelt intent Troy remembered fondly from when they’d been dating. On the other hand, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to know the answer, especially now Oscar looked like he was trying to keep his distance.

“So, I take it things haven’t been going well since you guys were here the other day,” Dean said.

Troy’s shoulders sagged. “No. He kissed me that night, Dean.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, one minute, we were arguing about stupid shit, and the next minute he was kissing me.”

“Would that stupid shit have anything to do with the oh-so-lovely marks around your neck?”

Troy cringed. “Maybe.”

The last thing he wanted was Dean to start worrying about him too. Admittedly, Troy knew he should have been more cautious walking the streets. There was no good excuse for Erik being able to sneak up on him like that. Troy should have seen him coming from a mile away, and Oscar was right that he needed to be more careful. Troy wasn’t so sure he needed tochange his habits all that much, as there wasn’t much reason to, but he could certainly afford to be more watchful.

He still couldn’t believe Erik attacked him like that. The two of them had met one night a month ago, and Troy honestly believed they understood what they were doing. With the sole exception of Oscar, Troy had never been one to settle down with one person. He liked the thrill of being with someone new, of learning how they touched, how they held, kissed, fucked. The only person who could instill that same extreme passion and need in Troy was Oscar, apparently still, if that kiss were any indication.

Troy was jerked out of his thoughts as Dean rolled forward in his chair to lean into his vision. “Why don’t you do us both a favor and go talk to him?”

Troy wrinkled his nose. “And say what?”