Page 77

Once we arrived at my apartment, Sammy parked the bike.

I slid off the back seat and waited for him to do the same.

He killed the engine, turning his head toward me.

“I never wanted kids,” I blurted. “Not at first.”

“Let’s go inside.” Sammy slid off the bike, took our helmets,and locked them up.

He came up to my side, linked his fingers with mine, and led meto the front of the building.

When we were in the elevator, he let go of my hand and leanedagainst the wall opposite me.

I hugged my arms around myself, not liking the way it felt likehe was dissecting me with a mere look.

The elevator doors dinged once we reached my floor. We made ourway down the long hall. I almost asked him for the keys when we stopped infront of my door, and he unlocked it himself.

I took a breath and stepped into my home. A place I had feltsafe ever since I’d moved in, but now it felt like the walls were closing inaround me.

My heart started racing, my skin was clammy and spots danced inmy vision. My knees shook, giving out beneath me when arms caught me around themiddle.

Before I could stop myself, I turned in Sammy’s arms and threwmyself around him.

Sammycaptured my mouth in a hard, bruising kiss. It was so deep, so powerful, that Icould feel him throughout every inch of me and he wasn’t even inside of me yet.

Ripping ateach other’s clothes, I was vaguely aware of him lowering me onto the floor.With his mouth fused to mine, he slowly thrust into me, taking my very breathaway.

Amber

“Tell me how youfelt when you first found out.”Sammy brushed his thumb along my bare shoulder, his eyes watching the movement.

“Scared,” I whispered.

His eyes lifted, locking with mine. “Why?”

“I was scared of how you would react. I still am.” I hugged thesheet tighter around my body, hiding my nudity from him. We had moved from theliving room to my bedroom, staying connected in a way I had never felt withanother person before. I wasn’t sure if it was due to the hormones rushingthrough me or what it was exactly, but I realized something; I wouldn’t want todo this, although as scary as it was, with anyone else.

“What do you mean?” His fingers brushed down my arm, sendingshivers along with it.

“You haven’t given me much here, Sammy. I tell you I’m pregnantand I get nothing from you.” I turned toward him. “I’m sorry. Please don’tthink this is my fault.”

Before I could look away, he cupped my face. “I would neverthink this is your fault.” His eyes moved back and forth, searching my face.“It takes two, baby.”

“I…” I swallowed hard. “I meant what I said before. I neverwanted kids. Not after…” I snapped my mouth shut. Was it too soon to tell himabout what happened to me and how Aaron died? Was it too soon to tell him aboutthe men who killed him and attacked me while he was dying, so he could watchuntil he took his final breath?

Sammy frowned. “Not after what?”

I looked down at my hands resting on my lap and took a deepbreath. “I got pregnant while I was with Aaron. He didn’t react well andaccused me of cheating on him.” My voice cracked. “He was furious. He blew upand said it was all my fault and that I purposely didn’t take my birth controlon the right days.” A shuddered breath left me. “He eventually was happy, butit took him a while to warm up to the idea.” I waited for Sammy to ask mequestions but when he didn’t and only covered my hands, I took the strengthrolling off of him and continued. “He loved me. I know he did. At one pointanyway. But in the end, he had moved up the chain of command pretty quickly andI became less and less important to him.” My mind took me back to that night.Back to when my life changed forever. Then I met Sammy and my life changedagain.

“There are things I haven’t told you. Things I don’t like totalk about. The night he died. I moved this way after…after…” I couldn’t getthe words out.

“Amber.” Sammy hugged me from the side, cupping my head andkissing my temple. “Breathe.”

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “We had gone to aparty and were driving home. It was in another town a couple of hours fromwhere we lived. I didn’t want to go but Aaron insisted. So I went, he drank,and I drove us home. But we ended up getting a flat tire.There was aguy at the party, a couple of them in fact who were hitting on me and theywouldn’t leave me alone. Aaron didn’t do shit about it either.” Memories ofthat night hit me hard. They came on strong and fast, knocking the breath outof my lungs. “While Aaron was changing the tire, an SUV pulled up. It was themiddle of the night, but I thought maybe it was someone Aaron knew, and theysaw that we needed help. It was naïve of me. I know that now. It’s maybe why Ipushed you away in the beginning. I have a hard time trusting people.Especially men.”

Sammy ran a hand in circles over my upper back. “You don’t have toexplain yourself to me.”

“But I do. I need you to know. Especially since we’re in arelationship and we’re going to have a baby. I can’t have any secrets.” I methis gaze. “I went through that already with Aaron. I can’t do it again. Notwith you.”