Page 68
Story: Liberate Us
It got tothe point where I hadn’t been sure if the baby was Aaron’s or Will’s. We hadseveral threesomes, not that I was proud of it, and I got pregnant. Iremembered back to when I told Aaron that we should let his brother know aswell. Just in case.
My stomachtwisted at the awful memories rushing through my mind. Before I could get lostin those nightmares, I took a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer.
Cupping mystomach, I prayed that this baby would survive the wrath and evil of the world.But I knew even before I told Sammy that he would take this news far betterthan Aaron ever did.
I imaginedthat he would be happy or maybe he would tell me he loved me or that he was atleast falling for me. It was a wild thought but a nice one at least. DidIlove him? I wasn’t sure but I did have feelings for him and now that I wascarrying his baby, it only heightened them even more.
The pastfew months with Sam had been nothing short of amazing. We became closer, stayedcommitted to each other, and just hung out. He never demanded things of me andin return, I didn’t either. We just took what we were doing one day at a time.
Word hadgotten around that we were together, and I hadn’t been hit on at Rouge. Sammywas nicer to the girls and didn’t make any of them cry again. Everyonecommented how his mood had changed and how it was because of me that hispermanent scowl had softened a bit.
I wasn’tsure what the next steps would be, but I knew that Ihadto tell Sammyabout the pregnancy and set up a doctor’s appointment. So many thoughts ranrampant through my mind. I couldn’t help but wonder if my baby was okay. Ifthere was even a baby inside of me. Maybe the tests were wrong. Maybe my cycleswere just being weird. I wasn’t sure how old you had to be to start goingthrough early menopause. Should I call my mom?
Scrubbingmy hands down my face, I let out a harsh sigh. My eyes flicked to the bag. Ihad bought several tests, maybe I should take them all. Because obviously fivetests coming back positive could be wrong. Or that was what I liked to tellmyself anyway.
Grabbingthe big jug of orange juice, I drank some more and waited. When I had to pee, Itook the rest of the tests and waited. Again.
I leaned myhands on the edge of the bathroom counter and once the rest of the tests cameback positive, I called the one person who I hoped would know what I should do.
“Hey,sweetheart,” my mom answered after the first ring. “How are you?”
“Um…I’mstaring at ten pregnancy tests, and they all came positive,” I said, my toneflat.
“What? Holdon…wait…what?”
“I’mpregnant, Mummy, and I don’t…I just…” I sat on the edge of the tub. “I’mscared.”
“Okay. Takea deep breath.”
I did asshe said, blowing out the air slowly.
“Again.”
Repeatingthe action, I waited to start feeling better, but it didn’t work.
“Have youtold Sammy?”
“Not yet.”I rose to my full height and left the bathroom. “I only just found out andcalled you first. I don’t know what to do.”
“Firstthing, how are you and he doing?”
“Good. Ithink we’re good anyway. We don’t fight.” Unless we were fucking anyway but Inever told her that. I didn’t need to scar my mother. She already knew that Iused to be a stripper. She didn’t need to know that I liked being choked untilI was on the verge of passing out. God, I was going to go to hell just from thesex I liked.
“Okay,that’s good. I’m glad.” She cleared her throat. “Now, secondly, are you goingto keep it?”
“Yes. Evenif Sammy and I don’t make it, I’ll raise this baby on my own if I have to and Iwill try my hardest to be the best mom I can possibly be. But I think Sammywill be there for the baby too, no matter what happens to our relationship.”
“That makesme happy. I know Aaron didn’t react the way he should have.”
“I know.Sammy isn’t like him thankfully.” I tossed the tests into the trash beforeheading back to my bedroom. Putting the phone on speaker, I placed it on my bedand began stripping out of my clothes. Once I was completely naked, I went upto the floor-length mirror and let my gaze roam down my body. Did I lookpregnant? My breasts were a little tender. I turned, cupping my stomach thatwas still flat.
“How areyou feeling?” my mom asked.
“I’ve beensick a few times but now I know that it was morning sickness. My boobs aretender but nothing I can’t handle.” I went back to the bed and picked up thephone, turning off the speaker. “I don’t think Sammy will react the way Aarondid but a part of me is scared to tell him.”
“I know,honey. The only thing I suggest is to tell him in person and not over thephone.”
“I will.”
My stomachtwisted at the awful memories rushing through my mind. Before I could get lostin those nightmares, I took a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer.
Cupping mystomach, I prayed that this baby would survive the wrath and evil of the world.But I knew even before I told Sammy that he would take this news far betterthan Aaron ever did.
I imaginedthat he would be happy or maybe he would tell me he loved me or that he was atleast falling for me. It was a wild thought but a nice one at least. DidIlove him? I wasn’t sure but I did have feelings for him and now that I wascarrying his baby, it only heightened them even more.
The pastfew months with Sam had been nothing short of amazing. We became closer, stayedcommitted to each other, and just hung out. He never demanded things of me andin return, I didn’t either. We just took what we were doing one day at a time.
Word hadgotten around that we were together, and I hadn’t been hit on at Rouge. Sammywas nicer to the girls and didn’t make any of them cry again. Everyonecommented how his mood had changed and how it was because of me that hispermanent scowl had softened a bit.
I wasn’tsure what the next steps would be, but I knew that Ihadto tell Sammyabout the pregnancy and set up a doctor’s appointment. So many thoughts ranrampant through my mind. I couldn’t help but wonder if my baby was okay. Ifthere was even a baby inside of me. Maybe the tests were wrong. Maybe my cycleswere just being weird. I wasn’t sure how old you had to be to start goingthrough early menopause. Should I call my mom?
Scrubbingmy hands down my face, I let out a harsh sigh. My eyes flicked to the bag. Ihad bought several tests, maybe I should take them all. Because obviously fivetests coming back positive could be wrong. Or that was what I liked to tellmyself anyway.
Grabbingthe big jug of orange juice, I drank some more and waited. When I had to pee, Itook the rest of the tests and waited. Again.
I leaned myhands on the edge of the bathroom counter and once the rest of the tests cameback positive, I called the one person who I hoped would know what I should do.
“Hey,sweetheart,” my mom answered after the first ring. “How are you?”
“Um…I’mstaring at ten pregnancy tests, and they all came positive,” I said, my toneflat.
“What? Holdon…wait…what?”
“I’mpregnant, Mummy, and I don’t…I just…” I sat on the edge of the tub. “I’mscared.”
“Okay. Takea deep breath.”
I did asshe said, blowing out the air slowly.
“Again.”
Repeatingthe action, I waited to start feeling better, but it didn’t work.
“Have youtold Sammy?”
“Not yet.”I rose to my full height and left the bathroom. “I only just found out andcalled you first. I don’t know what to do.”
“Firstthing, how are you and he doing?”
“Good. Ithink we’re good anyway. We don’t fight.” Unless we were fucking anyway but Inever told her that. I didn’t need to scar my mother. She already knew that Iused to be a stripper. She didn’t need to know that I liked being choked untilI was on the verge of passing out. God, I was going to go to hell just from thesex I liked.
“Okay,that’s good. I’m glad.” She cleared her throat. “Now, secondly, are you goingto keep it?”
“Yes. Evenif Sammy and I don’t make it, I’ll raise this baby on my own if I have to and Iwill try my hardest to be the best mom I can possibly be. But I think Sammywill be there for the baby too, no matter what happens to our relationship.”
“That makesme happy. I know Aaron didn’t react the way he should have.”
“I know.Sammy isn’t like him thankfully.” I tossed the tests into the trash beforeheading back to my bedroom. Putting the phone on speaker, I placed it on my bedand began stripping out of my clothes. Once I was completely naked, I went upto the floor-length mirror and let my gaze roam down my body. Did I lookpregnant? My breasts were a little tender. I turned, cupping my stomach thatwas still flat.
“How areyou feeling?” my mom asked.
“I’ve beensick a few times but now I know that it was morning sickness. My boobs aretender but nothing I can’t handle.” I went back to the bed and picked up thephone, turning off the speaker. “I don’t think Sammy will react the way Aarondid but a part of me is scared to tell him.”
“I know,honey. The only thing I suggest is to tell him in person and not over thephone.”
“I will.”
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