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Levi looked as horrified as I felt. As much as I would laugh about this if it were happening in my favorite book, this was not funny now.
All we had were open windows and a stall for a bathroom. To make things worse, there was a massive jetted tub out in the open with mirrors surrounding it.
The honeymoon special, I realized with horror.
“We can find something else,” he said. “I’m sure there’s some other hotel open.”
Rubbing my temples, I tried to think of a way out of this.
But then I looked out the windows that dominated the entire front of the cabin. I hadn’t even noticed it outside because I’d been far too horrified. But this? This was beyond my wildest dreams. I could see down the mountain and into the distance. When the sun set in a few hours, it was going to be gorgeous. Even now, we had a breathtaking view of the clouds in the sky. There were even windows on the other side too, where the back side of the cabin had a balcony, giving us a view of the sunrise in the morning.
“This is ... Oh my God. Look at these views.”
Levi turned and followed my line of sight. “That’s why she picked this place.”
“I’m staying,” I said.
“You’re what?”
“I’m staying here. You can find somewhere else if you want.”
“Do you really think I’m leaving my wife to stay in a cabin on the mountain by herself?”
“I’d be fine.”
“I don’t care. We aren’t testing that. What would you do if you saw a bear?”
“Probably the same thing I do with most crises in my life. Panic and hope it goes away.”
“That’s not a good bear plan.”
“So, if you’re staying, and I’m staying, then who’s getting the bed?”
His eyes went to the queen-sized mattress and then back to me.
“We could share it.”
“But aren’t you supposed to argue with me and offer to sleep on the couch?”
“What couch?” he asked. “And we all know how this ends. We’ll share the bed.”
“You know how this goes in romance novels, right? You’ll wake up with a boner and then we’ll have hot sex or something.”
“I’ve already seen your boobs and had no problems keeping myself contained.”
“Through atop,and we aren’t talking about that! Levi, what if I feel your hard, velvet rod and get horny?”
“Do you have to call it that?”
“What would you prefer? Disco stick? Tunnel penetrator?”
“Dick? Or penis? Thenormalterms.”
“You said you read romance novels.”
“I do, but I close the book the second it’s called a velvet rod. Can you imagine how disgusting velvet would be ...” He trailed off. “Never mind.”
“You’re not supposed to take it literally.”